My paranoia wasn't always right, but just to be on the safe side, I never went to sleep with a clown in the room.

Where there's smoke, there's usually strawberry Jello.

I'm the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life.

To you everything thats happening in the world appears phony, to be something other than what it really is, right?

I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.

Anyone not paranoid in this world must be crazy. . . . Speaking of paranoia, it's true that I do not know exactly who my enemies are. But that of course is exactly why I'm paranoid.