My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money.

My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money

Is there a doctor in the house? My parents want me to marry you.

I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it's because the water is cold in there. And I'm like, how did my mother know that?

People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them... Well, it's killing me!

My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.