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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.


Henry Youngman

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My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
HENNY YOUNGMAN My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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MARK MITCHELL Whoever went over there unplugged the phones and locked the door behind hisself, and then attacked m...
ANDRE BROWN The conditions are awful, I hate them. I have been driving like my grandmother. Still, it's my first...
MARCUS GRONHOLM Hi, I’m at the Speedway at Eighty-sixth and Ditch, and I need an ambulance. The great love of my l...
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PAUL DILLON You will honor my mother or I will break this bottle over your head
ROSAMUND HODGE I have forty-six cookbooks. I have sixty-eight takeout menus from four restaurants. I have one hundr...
RICK MORANIS He still looks good to me. He is still throwing the ball well. He is still the leader out there on t...
DONALD DRIVER Good Morning, Henry. How's it feel to be a prisoner for a day?' Henry looked at Keiko. 'Best day of ...
JAMIE FORD My storm spotters actively track storms both Saturday and Sunday nights as they crossed Henry County...
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ALEX ROZANSKI I think I'm certainly capable of it. All I need to do right now ... is not let the fears crawl in, d...
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KAREENA KAPOOR KHAN We've accumulated a lot of things over the years and many things from our grandmother. Hopefully it'...
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ANTHONY T. HINCKS The Coke bottle is a masterpiece of scientific, functional planning. In simpler terms, I would descr...
RAYMOND LOEWY There are times when relationships need to be prioritised over what is right. And there are times wh...
AMIT AHLAWAT Eighty one out of the 99 lots are owned by the project.
DANIEL STONE My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.
MARK TWAIN For the record, my mother is an astonishing and loving grandmother.
KARA SWISHER My grandmother was musically gifted, and Annie recognized that gift. My grandmother did the same for...
ANNIE WOLAVER When I was 19 and dropped out of college for several months, I lived for some time with my grandmoth...
KAREN BENDER I think a little bit of it is that we ran out of gas. I think a lot of it is that we're still a work...
BILL SCHREIER Let's say I live to be eighty - I'm seventy-one now - nothing I do between now and eighty is going t...
PHILIP LEVINE At seventeen I'm waiting for my life to actually begin. I'm afraid I'll wake up tomorrow eighty year...
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JULIA ROBERTS Anyone informed that the universe is expanding and contracting in pulsations of eighty billion years...
PETER DE VRIES On the advice of Mr. Henry, I can't really comment right now.
DEBBIE BRASHER Henry James and Edith Wharton are huge for me because they gave me a way to understand America while...
CLAIRE MESSUD Stay passed out, that's the right dope. There ain't any cool willow trees- except you grow your own ...
EUGENE O'NEILL They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they exami...
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TOBA BETA For a while we had trouble trying to get the sound of a champagne cork exploding out of the bottle. ...
LAWRENCE WELK go outside at tell the world to f*ck its self! you are who you are! express your self... and how eve...
SIMI GREWAL I don't weigh a pound over one hundred and eighty and, what's more, I never did.
FATTY ARBUCKLE On the night of the 1st of September we observed for the first time signs of the natives being in th...
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YEARDLEY SMITH I care," he said in a trembling voice. "I care so much that I do not know how to tell you without it...
AIMEE CARTER Given the growing importance of out-of-home eating, our lack of a reliable mental process to assess ...
AILSA BIRCH You can recycle a used detergent bottle into a bird feeder, ... But at the end of the day, it is sti...
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DAVID VEAL Why would Roman gods want to date Chinese Canadians?
RICK RIORDAN If you've been drinking, you're still drunk, and energy drinks won't take away from that.
MAUREEN MILLER We need to keep our confidence up. If we start over and play well we can still accomplish what we se...
EILEEN SCHMIDT I like glasses so I can go out without my makeup. Just grab your coat and get your hat and go.
ELAINE STRITCH We all need to take a deep breath and think about being a Bush daughter and having that cross to bea...
JULIA ROBERTS People still need to use good judgement. The river is still pretty treacherous out there.
GARY ROBB O: Hey youngman, you should respect me!
Y: Hey oldman, you should understand me!
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JAMES E. FAUST I still have a tendency to sit back and wait out the bad things that try and take over my life.
DEAN BAKOPOULOS My birthplace is right over there.
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ANON.

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HENRY VILLARD Today, most believers are segregated and isolated in their church or in their home. If believers acc...
HENRY HON Unity is vision; it must have been part of the process of learning to see.
HENRY ADAMS You are the reason I don't want to die all the time. When I am with you, life is worth living. Tim...
HENRY ROLLINS I was influenced by Ray Harryhausen and Lotte Reiniger, with her twitchy, cutout animation, which I ...
HENRY SELICK The world is the mirror of myself dying.
HENRY MILLER In the attempt to defeat death man has been inevitably obliged to defeat life, for the two are inext...
HENRY MILLER This is all the Inheritance I can give to my dear Family. The Religion of Christ can give them one w...
PATRICK HENRY There is no longer any room for hope. If we wish to be freeif we mean to preserve inviolate those in...
PATRICK HENRY Suffer not yourselves to be betrayed with a kiss. Ask yourselves how this gracious reception of our ...
PATRICK HENRY It is natural to man to indulge in the illusions of hope. We are apt to shut our eyes against a pain...
PATRICK HENRY Is the relinquishment of the trial by jury and the liberty of the press necessary for your liberty? ...
PATRICK HENRY