My definition of cursing is probably different from what other people's definitions are.

If I have one criticism of the other late-night shows, it's that they're almost entirely scripted.

At the Emmys, you've got a bunch of people who are used to being on TV on TV. You don't have that at the Oscars. At the Oscars, you have people who are used to having 40 takes.

The Republican National Convention is a great place to hear people talk about politics and values and all that sort of thing. But there's one thing brings me back year after year, and that's white people dancing. The RNC is the world's premier Caucasian amateur dance festival.

I don't eat two days a week. And people are fascinated by it, but it works. If you cut two days of food out of your life you will lose weight.

I know there are, like, 12 rules for late night: a desk, a band. Will people take me seriously if I don't wear a tie?