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Jimmy Kimmel quote: "If I have one criticism of the other late-night shows, it's that they're almost entirely scripted."

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If I have one criticism of the other late-night shows, it's that they're almost entirely scripted.


Jimmy Kimmel


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JIMMY CONNORS
If someone wants a piece of you, never let them pay. What you do not give to them time takes anyway.
JIMMY BUFFETT
Be awfully nice to them going up, because you're gonna meet them all coming down.
JIMMY DURANTE
I've looked on a lot of women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times.
JIMMY CARTER
I'd rather die while I'm living then live while I'm dead.
JIMMY BUFFETT
Never did I think that I became family entertainment.
JIMMY BUFFETT
Experience is a great advantage. The problem is that when you get the experience, you're too damned ...
JIMMY CONNORS
America did not invent human rights. In a very real sense... human rights invented America.
JIMMY CARTER
If we weren't all crazy, we would go insane.
JIMMY BUFFETT
Everyone who has run knows that its most important value is in removing tension and allowing a relea...
JIMMY CARTER
The office of president is a bastardized thing, half royalty and half democracy, that nobody knows w...
JIMMY BRESLIN
Media, the plural of mediocrity.
JIMMY BRESLIN
The only reason this country is different from any place else is that once in a great while, this hu...
JIMMY BRESLIN
We've uncovered some embarrassing ancestors in the not-too-distant past. Some horse thieves, and som...
JIMMY CARTER
When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking i...
JIMMY BRESLIN
We become not a melting pot but a beautiful mosaic. Different people, different beliefs, different y...
JIMMY CARTER
If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane.
JIMMY BUFFETT
Use it or lose it.
JIMMY CONNORS
If I had my career over again? Maybe I'd say to myself, speed it up a little.
JIMMY STEWART
Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets.
JIMMY BRESLIN
Do you want to be safe and good, or do you want to take a chance and be great?
JIMMY JOHNSON
We are the people our parents warned us about.
JIMMY BUFFETT
Surviving and thriving as a professional today demands two new approaches to the written word. First...
JIMMY CALANO
Rather than viewing a brief relapse back to inactivity as a failure, treat it as a challenge and try...
JIMMY CONNORS
This nation has dehumanized its adversaries calling them Huns, wops, gooks, Japs.
JIMMY CARTER
I've looked on many women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times. God knows I wil...
JIMMY CARTER
If you fear making anyone mad, then you ultimately probe for the lowest common denominator of human ...
JIMMY CARTER
Fishing, with me, has always been an excuse to drink in the daytime
JIMMY CANNON
I hate music, especially when it's played.
JIMMY DURANTE
Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.
JIMMY DEMARET
Most people assume the fights are going to be the left versus the right, but it always is the reason...
JIMMY WALES
Unless both sides win, no agreement can be permanent.
JIMMY CARTER
You gotta try your luck at least once a day, because you could be going around lucky all day and not...
JIMMY DEAN
Globalization, as defined by rich people like us, is a very nice thing... you are talking about the ...
JIMMY CARTER
Led Zeppelin was an affair of the heart. Each of the members was important to the sum total of what ...
JIMMY PAGE
I don't appreciate a preacher who commits adultery and then goes out and blames me.
JIMMY SWAGGART
I've looked on many women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times. God kno...
JIMMY CARTER
I believe there is complete equality between men and women. And I believe those passages in the New ...
JIMMY CARTER
Politics is pop. Our job as comedians - especially me, as a late-night talk show, which is a broader...
JIMMY FALLON
We tend to think of World War II and all the atrocities that happened, and people say, 'Never ag...
JIMMY SMITS
The instruments that bleed into each other are what creates the ambience. Once you start cleaning ev...
JIMMY PAGE
Let me explain something about guitar playing. Everyone's got their own character, and that'...
JIMMY PAGE
When I was president, I announced and I still maintain that I can live with Roe v. Wade. I did every...
JIMMY CARTER
I think an overwhelming portion of the intensely demonstrated animosity toward President Barack Obam...
JIMMY CARTER
I don't think it's any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and 'manned up' in...
JIMMY CARR
There's a common perception among college administrators that they should conceal the high level...
JIMMY CARTER
I am a nuclear physicist by training and a deeply committed Christian. I don't have any doubt in...
JIMMY CARTER
It was one of my dreams as a child, growing up in my little village with my cousins. We used to walk...
JIMMY CLIFF
Older and wiser voices can help you find the right path, if you are only willing to listen.
JIMMY BUFFETT
I wanted to be a Priest at one point. I was pretty religious. I was an altar boy, and I was good at ...
JIMMY FALLON
You learn over years of expeditions that having faith, and putting one foot in front of the other, y...
JIMMY CHIN
'Have fun' is my message. Be silly. You're allowed to be silly. There's nothing wron...
JIMMY FALLON
Nobody, man or woman, has ever wrecked a good marriage.
JIMMY DEAN
The thing I like about astronomy is being outside at night and seeing the stars in a dark sky. It ma...
JIMMY WALKER
Dictators can fix up their entire families in good jobs, in or around government, and often do. In d...
JIMMY REID
Thank you, hard taco shells, for surviving the long journey from factory, to supermarket, to my plat...
JIMMY FALLON
You do wonder - when you are at 28,000 feet, the height that aeroplanes cruise at, when you are stru...
JIMMY CHIN
I am always concerned with finding the right spot and the right shot, so sometimes I forget to appre...
JIMMY CHIN
I lose anywhere up to 20 pounds on location with adventurers like Conrad Anker or Brady Robinson. So...
JIMMY CHIN
Thank you, yard sales, for being the perfect way to say to your neighbors: 'We think we're i...
JIMMY FALLON
Researches tested a new form of medical marijuana that treats pain but doesn't get the user high...
JIMMY FALLON
Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happen...
JIMMY FALLON
Thank you, people who say 'Wow, you're really photogenic,' for not saying what you reall...
JIMMY FALLON
There's always going to be someone out there... who doesn't believe in you or who thinks you...
JIMMY FALLON
I'd be nothing without my wife. She's the coolest. She's the greatest. She is the smarte...
JIMMY FALLON
You only think of the best comeback when you leave.
JIMMY FALLON
I wanted to be the next Dana Carvey. This was my ultimate goal. If I ever cut into a birthday cake a...
JIMMY FALLON
I don't even read the papers. I read 'USA Today' because it has color photos.
JIMMY FALLON
I like to see people laugh who are normally serious.
JIMMY FALLON
In New York, there are so many potholes, they're like craters on the moon. That's another tr...
JIMMY FALLON
I don't like to kick people when they're down. I like to kick people when they're up.
JIMMY FALLON
If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of ...
JIMMY FALLON
Thank you... motion sensor hand towel machine. You never work, so I just end up looking like I'm...
JIMMY FALLON
I like video games, I like tech, I like being positive.
JIMMY FALLON
Don't keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way...
JIMMY FALLON
I'm going to North Pole to help out Santa this year.
JIMMY FALLON
L.A., it's nice, but I think of sunshine and people on rollerblades eating sushi. New York, I th...
JIMMY FALLON
Researches at Yale found a connection between brain cancer and work environment. The No. 1 most dang...
JIMMY FALLON
Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food.
JIMMY FALLON
The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.
JIMMY FALLON
Everyone looks so much better when they smile.
JIMMY FALLON
I didn't have any sophistication. I didn't really have any great taste or anything like that...
JIMMY IOVINE
I truly believe the intention of creating positive change is so important to the collective consciou...
JIMMY CHIN

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