If I have one criticism of the other late-night shows, it's that they're almost entirely scripted.

I know there are, like, 12 rules for late night: a desk, a band. Will people take me seriously if I don't wear a tie?

The truth is, we have this idea that late night is about creativity and being cool, but that's not our job. Our job is to get as many people watching the commercials in between our show. That's the reality of it.

My definition of cursing is probably different from what other people's definitions are.

I started doing a half-hour Sunday night talk show on college radio station KUNV. That excited me more than anything I'd ever done. I went through the Yellow Pages to find people who seemed interesting. I'd goof on these people, but they were so excited to be on the radio that they didn't even notice.

Almost half our representatives in Washington apparently know more about science than our scientists. Or they pretend to, because big corporations give them a lot of money to make sure they can keep doing the destructive things that they do.