My daughter will be reading about Pat Buchanan in a history book someday, and I am hanging out fist-bumping with him and joking with him.

I am one of the five best parallel parkers in the United States of America. Dead serious. It's to the point now where I look back when pulling into the spot only as a formality.

I am always joking and always clowning, giving and helping.

I am not afraid that the book will be controversial, I'm afraid it will not be controversial.

I'm as happy doing 'Postman Pat' as I am doing 'Hamlet.'

I'm not prejudiced in any way that I can think of. That's just not the guy I am.