My dad liked to boil a squirrel head and suck the brains out the nose. Smaller than a chicken, bigger than a rat.

The smaller the head, the bigger the dream

A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit!

High school wasn't so bad though because, by then, I had worked out that there were far more nerdy kids and poor kids than there were rich, popular kids, so, at the very least, we had them outnumbered.

When you see a fantastic colour or cut in a magazine, perched up on some famous so-and-so's head, it's tempting to ask your stylist for the same, but do not be fooled. The hair in those fancy photos can be very high maintenance.

There is no rule in the pink-triangle guide to coming out that you must wear a rainbow flag cap and organise a full band parade.