My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it.

I don't need a holiday or a feast to feel grateful for my children, the sun, the moon, the roof over my head, music, and laughter, but I like to take this time to take the path of thanks less traveled.

Once I was gone for a month and I was just miserable, so I flew back from Florida for two hours just to be home and see my cats.

The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer.

The mistakes that I made I made because I drank too much, ... I don't think that's going to happen any more. Am I going to make mistakes as a parent? Sadly, every day. I'm looking around for the perfect parent and I haven't seen one yet.

I've had to fight very hard to get them where they belong,