Once I was gone for a month and I was just miserable, so I flew back from Florida for two hours just to be home and see my cats.

The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer.

The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.

I was born in Alabama, but I only lived there for a month before I'd done everything there was to do

When I sat down to write I just felt like a geek writing about myself. And then it dawned on me, just because of the way I am, I can't stop talking, and part of the problem is that anything that gets said reminds me of something that happened to me one time, and invariably I cut people off and talk about myself.