Love is like the human appendix. You take it for granted while it's there, but when it's suddenly gone you're forced to endure horrible pain that can only be alleviated through drugs.

Ambien might have mentally just tossed my salad. WITH CROUTONS.

His nostrils flared, he was breathing like a picadored bull.

I felt like one of Apollo's sacred cows- slow, dumb, and bright red.

CUSTOMER: If I were to, say... meet the love of my life in this bookshop, what section do you think they would be standing in?

Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch or you might simply get covered in sap and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors where it is harder to get a splinter.