Je veux vivre avant de mourir.

That slow smile again. I love that smile! DId I think he was ugly just now? No, his face is transformed.

There's a gang of boys on bikes blocking the road ahead. They've got their hoods up, cigarettes shielded. The sky's a really strange colour and there's hardly anyone else about. I slow right down.

"What shall I do?"

"Reverse," Zoey says. "They're not going to move."

I wind down the window. "Oi!" I yell "Move your arses!"

They turn languid, shift lazily to the edge of the road and grin as I blow kisses at them.

Zoey looks stunned, "What's got into you?"

"Nothing- I just haven't learned reversing yet.

Maybe you should say goodbye, Cal.'
'No.'
'It might be important.'
'It might make her die.

It's all right, Tessa, you can go. We love you. You can go now.'
'Why are you saying that?'
'She might need permission to die, Cal.'
'I don't want her to. She doesn't have my permission.

Help me, Mikey, she wanted to say. I’m afraid. More afraid than you’d ever believe.’ And he’d take her hand and they’d fly across the rooftops and up into space and sit on some planet and watch a double sunrise or maybe a star being born or some other event that no human had ever seen, her head on his shoulder, his arm around her. And she’d tell him everything.