I've very rarely seen the ball hit that hard. Cass knows to adjust with two strikes.
Dave Petrocelli
Related
I was battling that at-bat. I had two strikes and some runners on base. I was just trying to hit the...
CHRIS AGUILA We couldn't get the bunt down and then Brittany had two strikes and hit the ball hard, but it ended ...
MARISSA CHOVANEC That was two back-to-back triples leading off that inning. Patrick hit the ball hard all four at-bat...
CRAIG BEESLEY We haven?t hit the ball real well all year, and finally we?re starting to come around on that. We wo...
BOB LEWELLEN We just didn't hit the ball. This was really the first good pitcher we've seen, and my hat is off to...
KALEM NORTON Really I wasn't looking for a particular pitch. Just up in the zone where I could get a fly ball. On...
BILLY HALL I was trying to hit the ball hard somewhere. He threw me a ball that I could handle and I hit it har...
VINNY CASTILLA I feel very confident with two strikes. I feel it's more of a freedom. I get very upset with myself ...
DAVID ECKSTEIN They've got some guys who throw pretty hard. The key for them -- as with all pitchers -- is throwing...
DALE CUTSFORTH
We hit the ball very hard tonight, especially on the ground. We've been trying to get the guys to hi...
CHARLIE BROWN I thought we did an awesome job batting with two strikes. We put the ball in play.
BOB KITTLE I've actually seen twice during the same round, two different guys hit the ball backwards ... and it...
JUSTIN LEONARD Man, Jesse hit that ball hard. Scott Simon killed a ball to right center, and with the wind, it just...
ED MATHEY Amber Hanson hit the ball hard. She hit the ball harder than anybody.
TIM HICKS I throw the ball ninety-two miles an hour, but they hit it back just as hard.
JOAQUIN ANDUJAR (Emmert) is a guy that is similar to Dave in a lot of ways. He's a smart, heady player. He's probabl...
JACK JOHNSON Two strikes and two outs in the bottom of the ninth and Gore gets a hit,
DICK DURBIN I really didn't hit the ball that hard. It was a curve ball. I mean, I didn't hit it that hard, but ...
BENGIE MOLINA Without a doubt, she was the difference tonight. She hit the ball very hard all night.
BRIAN CAHOON We hit the ball hard all night long, and I'm very pleased with our performance. [Menendez] has good ...
BOBBY DIEZ With two strikes, that was a big homer. Anytime you see a guy do that with two strikes it's a plus.
CARL HUNCKLER Pedro is hitting good pitches. He is a talented kid that if he gets strikes he is able to hit the ba...
TIM CORBIN Kline threw the ball over the plate (54 strikes out of 78 pitches) and made them hit it. He kept it ...
BOB THOMAS Many of Australia's top order players use big back lifts and subsequently hit the ball very hard,
MARK TAYLOR She can track the ball real well and she knows how to hit.
LAURA PATINELLA It's in my top 20. I haven't seen a ball hit that far in a while.
MIKE WOOD We hit the ball hard. The (box score) doesn't show how well we hit the ball. I mean, we hit some nic...
AIMEE LONIGRO He's a very calm, veteran player and he knows the system well. He's very experienced. He knows where...
ANTHONY BECHT From No. 11 on, I hit the ball very well. I felt my iron game was very good today, and then I hit tw...
JIM THORPE I was finally able to get the curve ball over for strikes, ... I wasn't able to do that my last two ...
TED LILLY Those guys hit so well with two strikes. We were throwing pitches five inches off the plate and they...
CHANCE WHEELESS We hit the ball tonight as hard as we've hit all year.
BILLY LYON That was a big clutch hit from Mitch. Two-out hits are big. When you get a two-out hit, that changes...
RANDY BRETAG They hit the ball hard, give them credit.
MATT ANASTASIO He said they were very young. He said they were all freshmen, and I don't know if that is the case, ...
BOB TOMLINSON Don't forget to swing hard, in case you hit the ball.
WOODIE HELD We didn't hit the ball very good. We played good defense, we just didn't hit the ball. We're going t...
DANNY DUNAWAY He probably threw the ball as hard as anyone. He was pretty hard to hit.
LEE BUSSEY the furthest ball I've seen hit here to left field by a right-hander.
JAMEY WRIGHT That's just my coaching style. We're going to be a team that really works on being able to hit balls...
DAVID GREWE The fans are enthusiastic, so it's fun to come here and play well. The Cubs have hit me before, but ...
AARON HARANG That was the big hit. He (Price) throws so hard, I don't know if Belcher knows he hit a slider.
JIM WELLS He throws hard, the ball moves everywhere. He threw a hard slider. He's tough to hit.
TODD HELTON I've gotten hit with the ball many times ... one hit bruised and 'left its mark' on my leg for about...
CHAD MORISATO We've been working a lot with hitting with runners in scoring position and two-strike hitting and th...
MARCUS MARINGOLA He knows I won't hesitate to pass the ball to somebody else to hit the game-winning shot. He knows I...
BRANDON ROY I'm just trying to hit the ball hard, ... Sometimes it goes out.
CASEY BLAKE
The person who knows how to adjust to others, he will not have any suffering. ‘Adjust everywhere�...
DADA BHAGWAN Out of those hits, I think every ball was hit hard. Even the outs that we made, those balls were hit...
JASON BRANDT We couldn't find anyone, and the team knows Dave from the times he's skated with us. You hope in thi...
CHRIS CICHOCKI You have to let Edmonds hit the ball. You can't walk him and [catcher] Brad [ Ausmus ] knows that .....
PHIL GARNER We hit the ball hard the whole game. And we hit it at people - a lot.
BRUCE BONNESS We hit the ball hard all day. We could have scored more runs with 10 hits, but we hit several balls ...
LAURIE MARKATOS There was no reason at all to toss me. Everyone thought the ball hit the dirt. I guess he thought I ...
JOHN GIBBONS I seen a lot of kids getting hit, (and) dogs. They know we need a crosswalk there. It ain't hard to ...
CRAIG PHILLIPS Liz was our best hitter. She is a three-year starter, and is very strong. She could hit the ball rea...
BILL WOLF Logan is throwing the ball very well. In two outings he's given up 4 or 5 hits with 17 strikeouts. W...
ANDY HALLETT Coach (Dave) Odom had his team ready. They executed well, they took care of the ball, they spread th...
TUBBY SMITH We've seen that a lot, and I don't blame him. Did you see that ball he hit in the fourth?
ARMANDO BENITEZ It's the longest ball that has ever been hit at Jackson, I'll guarantee you that. I've seen every on...
KIRK NICHOLSON What I was pleased with was that we hit the ball hard today. We made adjustments at the plate, and g...
JACK BROOKS My jaw didn't drop. I've seen it before. It was hit hard.
JIM TRACY Our pitchers did a very nice job. I think we only had two walks, so they did a good job of throwing ...
BRIAN MORRISON He didn't pitch that bad. He threw strikes, and that's the key for him. He didn't get hit hard at al...
JOEY CORA I just go up there and try to hit the ball hard every time.
JEFF JEFFERSON We didn't change speeds much late in the game. We let him go after people. He threw strikes and we h...
JOE HUGHES Hitting is business. With two strikes you really protect that plate.
BILL TERRY We hit the ball very hard today. We gave up four runs in the top of the first, but I was very happy ...
ANDREW BRADLEY Those were two big hits. We had more chances and did not hit the ball hard. It is really difficult [...
GREGG WIKIERAK I was very pleased with the way we played. Both offensive lines were really coming off the ball. In ...
JEFF ROBBINS
Faith strikes me as intellectual laziness, but I don’t argue with it—especially as I am rarely i...
ROBERT A. HEINLEIN I think we get to wanting to hit the ball too hard. We need to spray it around the field with men on...
SAM PERLOZZO
firestar: jayfeather what does mallow look like?
jayfeather: i dont know, ive never seen any
ERIN HUNTER We may not hit the ball as hard as last year, but we are going to hit it a lot quicker.
CATHY ALEXANDER I'm very pleased, it was 1-1 at time and to get two and give us a two-goal cushion was great, as was...
FRANK LAMPARD I was trying to hit the ball hard somewhere, but both times right at people,
JOE MAUER That way when the opponent thinks I'm going to hit it hard, I can tip the ball. That gives you anoth...
LAURI HAKALA He's got the potential to be a pretty decent pitcher. He throws strikes, throws the ball hard. But i...
CHRIS JONES He was in the zone with three pitches. Even the one ball that was hit really shouldn't have been swu...
SMOKE LAVAL It's hard to find someone with a more extensive resume than Dave Dorman in telecom,
BLAIR LEVIN We made contact, but we didn't hit the ball hard. We made their defense look better than I thought i...
CHUCK GREEN (Even with two outs), I felt confident with that situation in the seventh. Usually, Shen comes up an...
BILL KEEFER I started out 0-2 on that batter and threw four straight balls. I knew I needed to bear down there a...
MATT HILL Most of her home runs have been lined shots that have just taken off. I think just about every ball ...
EVELYN BEAN We hit the ball real well, but we hit it right to them every time. They just made the plays every ti...
EDWARD JOHNSON We hit the ball hard, but the ball would not fall for us today. We kept hitting it at the shortstop.
DAVE ORZEL Kline pitched well. He threw the ball over the plate and only walked two batters. I haven't checked ...
BOB THOMAS Everything came at just the right time. It worked to our advantage that there were two outs and two ...
DONNA PROCTOR I thought we hit the ball really well today. (Terry) played a great game, hit the ball well. He is v...
CHAD BAKER We hit the ball. It was the first time all season we hit it that hard. The players responded to our ...
JACK KORPAR I know Crouch is very good in the air, he can keep the ball and always knows what to do with it
RAFAEL BENITEZ I had to have two cakes because I had so many candles. That really hit hard.
RAY BROWN Depending on the situation, you work to two strikes and attack, but you make him hit your pitch. Tha...
BRETT BORETTI Every time we hit the ball hard, it seems like it went right at someone.
MIKE FONTENOT She hit the ball well. She pulled a couple balls and I was excited to see that. Usually she hits it ...
SCOTT BISBE They hit the ball very well even though we played good defense. They got too many hits. I think we [...
CHAD ARTZ I was telling myself not to do too much, not to try to hit the ball 600 feet, ... Just stay within m...
GREG DOBBS We hit the ball a little better; hopefully with the warm weather the bats will come alive. We're thr...
MITCH WALTERS I am glad that we don't have to face Jarrod Freeman again. He is a great pitcher, and I am happy wit...
RON ANDERSON Morris and Cooper both hit the ball hard and drove in runs. Cooper has been swinging a hot bat and h...
DAVID CAMIC
More Dave Petrocelli
She pitcher very well. She had four walks, but she scattered them. For the first time this season, w...
DAVE PETROCELLI We came in and battled her (Shawn). I think we hit her better than anybody else has this year.
DAVE PETROCELLI That was big because they had tied the game and we answered right back.
DAVE PETROCELLI We did a good job overall. We were a little late in threatening them (Warwick); we just need to come...
DAVE PETROCELLI I have somebody paying my bills now.
DANIEL PETROCELLI It's probably a list of about 50 witnesses, about half of which I expect to testify.
DAN PETROCELLI Yes. I physically attempted to get her out of my room and I was wrong in doing that. At the time I w...
DANIEL PETROCELLI You gave a 1 for honest. That's the highest score! Isn't that inconsistent with being in a criminal ...
DANIEL PETROCELLI He literally could have conducted an examination (by) putting a prop up there.
DANIEL PETROCELLI I'm sorry, got too close.
DANIEL PETROCELLI passionate at times, violent at others.
DANIEL PETROCELLI How about that, Mr. Taft?
DANIEL PETROCELLI The jurors are infinitely smarter and wiser than senators. They will have no problem understanding J...
DANIEL PETROCELLI It's quite a case for your maiden voyage.
DAN PETROCELLI You didn't bleed in the Bronco, did you?
DANIEL PETROCELLI You used that Bronco to go to Nicole's. You had gloves. You had a hat. You had a knife. Didn't you?
DANIEL PETROCELLI And you killed Ronald Goldman,
DANIEL PETROCELLI contaminated, corrupted, or concealed, lost, damaged, or stolen, bought, sold or transferred.
DANIEL PETROCELLI We're talking about greed, greed, greed -- greed for money, that's what drove you.
DANIEL PETROCELLI You must be consumed with insatiable greed. Is that a fair statement?
DANIEL PETROCELLI You must have been consumed with insatiable greed.
DANIEL PETROCELLI You got it coming...I already talked to my lawyer...They'll get you for tax evasion, bitch, I'll see...
DANIEL PETROCELLI You told Dr. Lenore Walker that you picked up a message from Paula, didn't you?
DANIEL PETROCELLI That's the key piece of evidence on the oral side deals. The government didn't ask one question abou...
DANIEL PETROCELLI You're saying that you thought you were an accomplice or that you assisted somebody in breaking the ...
DANIEL PETROCELLI I would say this even if it were not my business that was on the line. The proposal you have in fron...
BILL PETROCELLI The only way to fight back is to do what we do best and hope the community supports us.
BILL PETROCELLI As a strict numbers game, the deck is stacked against us.
BILL PETROCELLI You could have gone in and told the court that you were guilty and spared your wife from ever having...
DANIEL PETROCELLI Enron was no house of cards. It was a wonderful company.
DANIEL PETROCELLI It's been a long ordeal and we are looking forward to starting this trial.
DANIEL PETROCELLI In actuality, many of these things are not improper at all.
DANIEL PETROCELLI You're pretty glib, aren't you?
DANIEL PETROCELLI They were a Christmas/'going-off-to-trial' gift from my father-in-law.
DANIEL PETROCELLI And you, in fact, had not been sleeping, correct?
DANIEL PETROCELLI You confronted Nicole Brown Simpson. You killed her, didn't you?
DANIEL PETROCELLI He is absolutely terrified to let him answer any questions.
DANIEL PETROCELLI I hope you do get cut loose, immediately after you walk off the witness stand.
DAN PETROCELLI Our used book store is a fundraiser for Hospice. The community donates books and Hospice puts them o...
EILEEN PETROCELLI In July, we have a huge conference for mystery writers, where the best publishers come out looking f...
EILEEN PETROCELLI We have writing classes and language classes. We have writing conferences.
EILEEN PETROCELLI The company execs are scheduled like everyone else to get out and sell books. Everyone here has been...
ELAINE PETROCELLI It's all about New Orleans.
ELAINE PETROCELLI We're able to turn things around faster than our president.
ELAINE PETROCELLI This is a good faith effort to describe those witnesses we currently believe may be called to testif...
DANIEL PETROCELLI We have a story to tell, and we're looking forward to telling it and we're very confident how it's g...
DAN PETROCELLI When they don't meet with you, when your client doesn't know what they'll say, you're going into thi...
DAN PETROCELLI One of the great things about working at a large international law firm is the very deep resources. ...
DAN PETROCELLI This is the best defensive team I've had. I thought we'd be able to defend and keep it in the 50s an...
GREGG PETROCELLI They played great, and each kid responded to what they had to do.
GREGG PETROCELLI That was a gutsy play by [Jones]. She was not shooting well, and to be aggressive and attack like th...
GREGG PETROCELLI
I do still get shocked every once in a while when I catch my reflection when I'm walking past a ...
DAVE MATTHEWS Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But...
DAVE ATTELL Everyone has a breaking point, turning point, stress point, the game is permeated with it. The fans ...
DAVE WINFIELD
Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.
DAVE BARRY
We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admi...
DAVE BARRY Instead of sailing off into the sunset, he hopes to sail into the next century.
DAVE ANDERSON
For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.
DAVE BARRY
What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another pe...
DAVE BARRY
Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.
DAVE BARRY
Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is ...
DAVE BARRY
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will ...
DAVE BARRY
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to a...
DAVE BARRY
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
DAVE BARRY
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso...
DAVE BARRY
The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.
DAVE BARRY I never excelled at one sport or had a very strong passion for anything other than wrestling and bod...
DAVE BAUTISTA A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are t...
DAVE ATTELL
As an individual, I think you have to find your own path. I like the simplicity and purity of Hindui...
DAVE DAVIES I had a few brushes with death, where I nearly chose to go. The final one in 1996 did it for me. I s...
DAVE GAHAN The important thing to remember is that bugs don't actually talk.
DAVE FOLEY
When people get disillusioned and get insecure and content about the future, they tend to brood abou...
DAVE DAVIES Jazz isn't dead yet. It's the underpinning of everything in this country. Whether it's a...
DAVE BRUBECK
And that's actually the brunt of what we do is, people going straight from their workplace, stra...
DAVE EGGERS That's country music for you - bourbon and the Bible.
DAVE HAYWOOD
So this is the space during tutoring hours. It's very busy. Same principles: one-on-one attentio...
DAVE EGGERS
You can do and use the skills that you have. The schools need you. The teachers need you. Students a...
DAVE EGGERS
The Left likes to think of itself as the bulwark of progressive liberal individualism, and yet it se...
DAVE BRAT
Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
DAVE BARRY A standard sitcom... is a very standard idea, like these people falling in love and living with each...
DAVE FINKEL Standing out as a writer today requires more than a bright idea and limpid prose. Authors need to be...
DAVE MORRIS Empire Square production finishes in about a month's time, so at the moment, right now, I'm ...
DAVE ROWNTREE
It is criminal to put our servicemen and women in harm's way and to put the lives of so many civ...
DAVE MATTHEWS We don't have enough people going into those fields and there is a high burnout rate in some hea...
DAVE OBEY
Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is th...
DAVE BARRY
If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
DAVE BARRY
The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes i...
DAVE BARRY I go to see some big shows of other bands, and I feel like I'm so bombarded and over-stimulated ...
DAVE GAHAN I'm tired of high policy talks. I want to focus on nuts and bolts.
DAVE FREUDENTHAL
The thing that will never go away is that connection you make with a band or a song where you're...
DAVE GROHL I played a homosexual bodyguard in 'The Last Detective,' and that was quite a pleasure to do...
DAVE LEGENO
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso...
DAVE BARRY The baby boomer surge is forcing society to face decisions about costs - and particularly what is va...
DAVE DEBRONKART Granted, a long book can be as daunting as a hard one. I nearly reached for 'Game of Thrones'...
DAVE MORRIS Joy comes from places you least expect it. It's usually the simple things, like watching my son ...
DAVE GAHAN
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to...
DAVE BARRY
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or...
DAVE BARRY The waves of love roll throughout the Universe, and overflow in our hearts..
Everything is ONE!
DAVE ZEBIAN
I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a mor...
DAVE BARRY
I'm so alive.
As I stand facing the beauty of the never-ending Pacific Ocean, a late afte...
DAVE PELZER 'Breaking Bad' and 'The Shield' were planned right from the start so that their narr...
DAVE MORRIS
I found there's a fairly blatant racism in America that's already there, and I don't thi...
DAVE MATTHEWS I want to make hand-held music, undiminished by the need to make everybody in the world listen at on...
DAVE SITEK We all have to die some day, if we live long enough.
DAVE FARBER
We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless...
DAVE BARRY
The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitutio...
DAVE BARRY
There just isn’t enough cock in this world to be caught suckin’ and be called anything but a slu...
DAVE MATTHES
...you're either gonna spend your life fucking pussy, or taking it to church.
DAVE MATTHES
I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.
DAVE BARRY
That’s what books do. They are the building blocks, the DNA, if you will, of you. Think of everyth...
DAVE EGGERS
I will not wait to love as best as I can. We thought we were young and that there would be time to l...
DAVE EGGERS
Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on.
DAVE BARRY
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know ...
DAVE BARRY
You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident."
DAVE BARRY
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
DAVE BARRY
I'd take a nerf bullet for you.
DAVE BARRY
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car...
DAVE BARRY
The first person who decided to say a word instead of throwing a rock can be considered the starter ...
DAVE BARRY
It was not that Adam ate the apple for the apple's sake, but because it was forbidden. It would have...
DAVE BARRY
I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to r...
DAVE BARRY
Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.
DAVE BARRY
I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it.
DAVE BARRY
In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is ba...
DAVE BARRY
Books have a unique way of stopping time in a particular moment and saying: Let’s not forget this.
DAVE EGGERS
Wake up naked drinking coffee
Making plans to change the world
While the world is changing...
DAVE MATTHEWS
Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see wi...
DAVE BARRY
Can you imagine the reaction of a British tabloid newspaper if they found a small school in rural En...
DAVE GORMAN
We have advantages. We have a cushion to fall back on. This is abundance. A luxury of place and time...
DAVE EGGERS
How could I have been anyone other than me?
DAVE MATTHEWS
My band career ended late in my senior year when John Cooper and I threw my amplifier out the dormit...
DAVE BARRY
As a rule, software systems do not work well until they have been used, and have failed repeatedly, ...
DAVE PARNAS
Don't get suckered in by the comments ... they can terribly be misleading.
DAVE STORER
Giving half answers won't make the conversation half as long.
DAVE JOHNSON
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would b...
DAVE BARRY
A theme is a memory aid, it helps you through the presentation just as it also provides the thread o...
DAVE CAREY
What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be...
DAVE BARRY
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popula...
DAVE BARRY
Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated ...
DAVE BARRY
Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.
DAVE BARRY
There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who ...
DAVE BARRY
The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the ...
DAVE BARRY
It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in...
DAVE BARRY
In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went...
DAVE BARRY
Although Golf was originally restricted to wealthy Protestants, today its open to anybody who owns h...
DAVE BARRY
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybo...
DAVE BERRY
Anything done for the first time unleashes a demon.
DAVE SIM
I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any ...
DAVE BARRY
The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
DAVE BARRY
A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer
DAVE BARRY
It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mer...
DAVE BARRY
Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the p...
DAVE BARRY
The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they...
DAVE BARRY
My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.
DAVE BARRY
The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withst...
DAVE BARRY
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should aris...
DAVE BARRY
The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.
DAVE BARRY
The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas...
DAVE BARRY
We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless y...
DAVE BARRY
Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that h...
DAVE BARRY
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant's life, she will choose to sa...
DAVE BARRY
And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to ta...
DAVE BARRY
The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious pe...
DAVE BARRY
Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.
DAVE BARRY
New York Taxi Rules:1. Driver speaks no English.2. Driver just got here two days ago from someplace ...
DAVE BARRY
Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organiza...
DAVE BARRY
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won...
DAVE BARRY
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
DAVE BARRY
Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
DAVE BARRY
Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
DAVE BARRY
I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are our Hope for the Futu...
DAVE BARRY
One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a compute...
DAVE BARRY If you can't excell with talent, triumph with effort.
DAVE WEINBAUM
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with th...
DAVE BARRY Our environmental problems originate in the hubris of imagining ourselves as the central nervous sys...
DAVE FOREMAN
Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see wit...
DAVE BARRY
We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but ...
DAVE BARRY
We are not meant to know everything, Mae. Did you ever think that perhaps our minds are delicately c...
DAVE EGGERS
You sit at a desk twelve hours a day and you have nothing to show for it except some numbers that wo...
DAVE EGGERS
It’s not that I’m not social. I’m social enough. But the tools you guys create actually manufa...
DAVE EGGERS Even in a country like the USA where fitness has become an obsession, most people exercising do not ...
DAVE WILSON
Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, usi...
DAVE BARRY
We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this i...
DAVE BARRY Life's real failure is when you do not realize how close you were to success when you gave up.
DAVE CHECKETT
You can't choose what you're famous for in life.
DAVE KELLETT
The English language was carefully, carefully cobbled together by three blind dudes and a German dic...
DAVE KELLETT A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple lea...
DAVE MEURER
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should aris...
DAVE BARRY
The future is no place to place your better days.
DAVE MATTHEWS
Nothing can do what a book can do. Lifts you out of your life... to a whole new world, whole new per...
DAVE KELLETT
I was trying to make the web more civil. I was trying to make it more elegant. I got rid of anonymit...
DAVE EGGERS
Gang violence in America is not a sudden problem. It has been a part of urban life for years, offeri...
DAVE REICHERT It's all very boring to say that we get along great and all that and sometimes we mock up come a...
DAVE EDMUNDS
To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.
DAVE BARRY
American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, includi...
DAVE BARRY
Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television witho...
DAVE BARRY
In terms of personalities - I don't care about the personalities, I want leadership that's i...
DAVE BRAT
I became a war hero before going on to critical acclaim as a professional victim.
DAVE PELZER
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
DAVE BARRY
When you please others in hopes of being accepted, you lose you self-worth in the process.
DAVE PELZER
Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who re...
DAVE BARRY