I've never had to use it,

There's actually a very scientific device for measuring the way the wind blows, ... which we refer to as the spit-o-meter.

The nerve of them makes your blood boil,

The only problem I've had is with runners. You know, people who don't pay their fare?

To soft landings and friendly landowners, ... although there's a grinch in every neighborhood.

I look for flags. I look for burning smoke. I look for trees wiggling in the wind,