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I've got six months to sort out the hackers, get the Japanese knotweed under control and find an acceptable form of narcissus.


Jasper Fforde

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Comedy was one of those genres that while appearing quite jolly was actually highly dangerous.
JASPER FFORDE I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ...
KELLY JONES I immediately said to myself Ive got to do something, ... Ive got to help as many as I can. I am not...
AMY COLLINS We are probably looking at six months to two years before some of these outbreaks can be brought und...
MIKE RYAN Korean immigration to Mexico in the spring of 1905 led directly to the Japanese takeover of Korea si...
WAYNE PATTERSON How should I know?" said Alice, surprised at her own courage. "It's no business of mine."
The Q...
LEWIS CARROLL We're not out of the woods yet. It will be an interesting next six months.
ALEX WHEELER Northeast China was occupied by the Japanese invaders for 14 years and my hometown Taiwan was even u...
LIEN CHAN Hackers find more success with organizations where employees are under appreciated, over worked and ...
JAMES SCOTT There were like six of us all lifting on the car, ... One guy got under and pulled him out.
ZIGGY it was more like two scared kids huddling in the dark when they knew the monster under the bed wasn'...
LAURELL K. HAMILTON [Just a few weeks ago, one of Bishop's patients needed emergency gallstone surgery. As the operation...
BARBARA BISHOP I had to struggle for six months to get the money. Ireland was rather an unproven story.
GERVAIS WILLIAMS Our duty was to try and find the Japanese fleet. We never did find the Japanese fleet and I am awful...
BARNEY ROSS It isn't clear to me, and it isn't clear to people at the paper, exactly why the waiver wasn't accep...
ADAM CLYMER The temperature got way out of the acceptable range.
LEE HARTMANN Being a Navy SEAL and sniper taught me all about risk management. Take away all the risk variables u...
BRANDON WEBB We got a big influx of investors over the past six to nine months.
DANIEL BUTTERWORTH Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
OSCAR WILDE Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW See, unlike most hackers, I get little joy out of figuring out how to install the latest toy.
JAMIE ZAWINSKI Stress is something that is sort of out of your control. You get stressed out over looking at the fi...
JOE TORRE I said, to be a New Yorker you have to live here for six months, and if at the end of the six months...
ED KOCH To achieve sustainable profits, we have to find a way to get all our costs under control.
ALAN MCCOY Leo took out a pen and autographed the arm of one of the nymphs. “Narcissus is a loser! He’s so ...
RICK RIORDAN There remains no imminent indication of any Japanese reopening to U.S. exports and we expect current...
JONATHAN FEENEY I would expect an attack in the next six months. This is not just planning for possible military con...
LARRY JOHNSON Two years ago we were evil hackers. One year ago, depending on who quoted us, we were a mix of hacke...
BRIAN MARTIN I said, to be a New Yorker you have to live here for six months, and if at the end of the six months...
ED KOCH The toughest part was having to take our daughter to court and show and tell the judge that she was ...
KAY SMITH You can carry paintings around under your arms for six months and not sell one; or, if you do, you g...
LARRY ASHKIE It's the sort of performance you can get out of a sport bike at under $10,000. You would have to spe...
ALEX HYATT The charges were put on a back burner as long as he agreed to stay out of trouble for six months. If...
CHANNING PHILLIPS Superman is, after all, an alien life form. He is simply the acceptable face of invading realities.
CLIVE BARKER You can only shove shit under your bed for so long before it starts moving around and wanting to get...
LILI ST. CROW A fashion is merely a form of ugliness so unbearable that we are compelled to alter it every six m...
OSCAR WILDE This is an attempt to get discovery they are not entitled to - it's also six months too late.
JEFF JUSTICE It's an easy thing to do and if we don't get it under control in poultry, every year it's going to g...
WILLIAM KARESH We're working the world with a new record. We've been out touring for six months. We've got four mor...
JON BON JOVI Anything under God's control is never out of control.
CHARLES R. SWINDOLL Under the pathologist's microscope, life and death fight in an illuminated circle in a sort of cellu...
YANN MARTEL Anybody who thinks we can achieve all we set out to achieve in the first three months of our six mon...
JONATHAN ALLEN They got word that the Japanese planes were coming back, so we sunk her ourselves so the Japanese wo...
BARNEY ROSS I think they've got it under control. Now they have a lot of work to do, and they have a lot of hard...
BILL ALLEN The fire burned out of control for a while, but it's under control now.
DON MCKINNON He's gotten a lot accomplished during the last six years, and especially a lot of major accomplishme...
MARK RICKEL The unfortunate thing is that, sometimes, we slip, but, fortunately, consciously or unconsciously, w...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH Twenty-five years ago, drunk driving was the last socially acceptable form of murder in America. And...
GLYNN BIRCH He made an unbelievable recovery (to get on the green) from where he was sometimes you get the brea...
KYLE ADAMS He made an unbelievable recovery (to get on the green) from where he was … sometimes you get the br...
KYLE ADAMS You've got to keep fighting; you've got to risk your life every six months to stay alive.
ELIA KAZAN You've got to keep fighting; you've got to risk your life every six months to stay alive
ELIA KAZAN You've got to keep fighting -- you've got to risk your life every six months to stay alive.
ELIA KAZAN You've got to keep fighting - you've got to risk your life every six months to stay alive
ELIA KAZAN Every six months I fly to Dallas to get botox and I also get collagen injections.
JANICE DICKINSON This is Camilla's biggest challenge in six months of marriage. She has got to make the Americans lov...
JUDY WADE This is Camilla's biggest challenge in six months of marriage. She has got to make the Americans lov...
JUDY WADE Yes, Haven, most of us enjoy preaching, and Ive got such a bully pulpit!
THEODORE ROOSEVELT It normally takes six to nine months to know if you got it.
LT. JACK SAINT I find standard American the hardest. It really fits in a different place in your mouth. Southern, I...
JUNO TEMPLE That's an additional six months of rehab and healing. To us, it's a no-brainer.
LON BABBY Are you sure you want us to keep calling you 'Six'?"

"You can say it's short for somethin...
PITTACUS LORE Those who chose not to get out of the way of the water ... we're trying to find them in trees and un...
LARRY COLLINS The principle is important, because you need someone not under government control whose responsibili...
ALLAN CUTLER We got rid of a terrible dictator. We gave the Iraqi people an opportunity for a new life under a re...
COLIN POWELL I thought that we had a lot of energy tonight, but I'm not sure that we played under control and sma...
DEREK WRIGHT I see an incident of a man trying to be brought under control who doesn't want to be brought under c...
FRANK DESALVO Invest in yourself. It's like being a boxer, you've got to be in training so that when the bell ring...
KARL URBAN We can't afford for this virus to be smoldering six months before we find it.
RON DEHAVEN I know just enough Japanese to get by if I get lost and greet an audience properly, just from having...
JANIS IAN And, after all, what is a fashion? From the artistic point of view, it is usually a form of ugliness...
OSCAR WILDE I go out with my band six months of the year and the rest of them with the Blues Brothers.
EDDIE FLOYD I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and ...
AL MCGUIRE It would take six months to get to Mars if you go there slowly, with optimal energy cost. Then it wo...
ELON MUSK It has been an enormous struggle over the last six months,
DR. BURTON GREBIN We've got things pretty well under control,
JACK NICHOLS Give me a minute - Am good. I get an Hour - Am Great. Give me Six Months - Am unbeatable.
OLASOT Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.
E.L. DOCTOROW Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.
E. L. DOCTOROW I work six months and get three or four with the family. I've stopped racing to get to the red l...
KYLE CHANDLER I was in Congress for six months, and they put me on blood pressure medication. I flew helicopters i...
TAMMY DUCKWORTH Set the gearshift for the high gear of your soul, you've got to run like an antelope out of control!
TREY ANASTASIO When you're an author, you're always two people. Jasper the writer is different from Jasper ...
JASPER FFORDE Well… er -”
“Expecting a rescue is beyond hope under the circumstances!” Sam Barthoff, ...
CHRISTINA ENGELA He made an unbelievable recovery (to get on the green) from where he was â€Â�...
KYLE ADAMS After the last hurricane hit the Gulf of Mexico, it took six months for the oil platform to get back...
ROGER ALLEN Even Noah got no salary for the first six months partly on account of the weather and partly because...
MARK TWAIN Sex seemed like a thing that might only happen to me at random, outside my control, like the weather...
CATHERINE LACEY In our study, the control group that did not exercise saw a sizable and significant 8.6 percent incr...
CRIS SLENTZ The next six or seven months will really be an interesting time.
DAN GARRETT It's a tight schedule to get two units ready in six months.
SCOTT ANDREWS They took my mother's stomach out six months ago.
DAVE EGGERS We said we had to keep him under 50 percent, ... We've done that. This guy was unbeatable six months...
PETER MCLAUGHLIN We said we had to keep him under 50 percent. We've done that. This guy was unbeatable six months ago...
PETER MCLAUGHLIN If you have two [integrators] working at $150 an hour for six months, you're talking about a minimum...
BOB CONLIN His face spreads into a warm smile. “As a matter of fact, no, I have never slept under the stars �...
J.A. REDMERSKI We've got to practice three weeks, get the kinks out, then we've got to practice three weeks...
BOB SEGER Passion, emotion and intensity are good, but they've always got to be under control.
BRIAN BILLICK There was good, there was bad and there was ugly. I think we've got to clean up the bad and ugly. I ...
BOB HOWELL I have to sort of get myself back out there and this is sort of out of the frying pan into the fire.
SARAH MCLACHLAN

More Jasper Fforde

If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of d...
JASPER FFORDE Two minds with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one.
JASPER FFORDE He was, after all, the ultimate rebel -- it takes a lot of cojones to stand up to Zeus.
JASPER FFORDE Okay, this is the wisdom. First, time spent on reconnaissanse is never wasted. Second, almost anythi...
JASPER FFORDE Class clowns become actors.
JASPER FFORDE She wasn't the only one to be physically morphed by reader expectation. Miss Havisham was now elderl...
JASPER FFORDE If it weren't for greed, intolerance, hate, passion and murder, you would have no works of art, no g...
JASPER FFORDE Tangling with the Goliath Corporation generally left you in one of two places: inside a wooden box w...
JASPER FFORDE Literary detection and firearms don't really go hand in hand; pen mighter than the sword and so fort...
JASPER FFORDE Have you ever wondered how nostalgia isn"t what it used to be?
JASPER FFORDE Yes, and imagine a world where there were no hypothetical situations.
JASPER FFORDE На самом деле я подумывал написать самоучитель для фан...
JASPER FFORDE She was the sort of parent you would want to have living close by, but only on the grounds that she ...
JASPER FFORDE We have it on good authority that they might disguise it as a double entendre in a bedroom farce and...
JASPER FFORDE Well, that's it." I said after we had waited for another five minutes and found ourselves still in a...
JASPER FFORDE Sometimes living in the BookWorld is like living in Legoland.
JASPER FFORDE extraordinary; I could almost see the Cambrian Mountains
JASPER FFORDE You are the best, most loving, supportive family anyone could ever have," I said through my sobs. "I...
JASPER FFORDE Keep people reading books, Mum; it helps to reinforce and strengthen the indefinable moments that an...
JASPER FFORDE Thursday, you mean everything to me. Not just because you're cute, smart, funny and have a de...
JASPER FFORDE Strive for the Long Now
JASPER FFORDE If it takes us 10 years to get into the shit, it will take us 20 to get out.

And the jour...
JASPER FFORDE If you even think about asking Harry Potter for an autograph, your day ends right now.
JASPER FFORDE Without unscrambled eggs, there was no time travel, no more depredation of the Now, and we could loo...
JASPER FFORDE There are a lot of idiots in this country, and they deserve representation as much as the next man.
JASPER FFORDE Reading, I had learned, was as creative a process as writing, sometimes more so. When we read of the...
JASPER FFORDE Humans like stories. Humans need stories. Stories are good. Stories work. Story clarifies and captur...
JASPER FFORDE It's simple. If you go to see 'Saturday Night Fever' expecting it to be good, it's a corker. However...
JASPER FFORDE Death, I had discovered long ago, was available in varying flavors, and none of them particularly pa...
JASPER FFORDE Reality TV was to me the worst form of entertainment--the modern equivalent of paying sixpence to wa...
JASPER FFORDE Dead. Never been that before. Not even once.
JASPER FFORDE Whereas story is processed in the mind in a straightforward manner, poetry bypasses rational thought...
JASPER FFORDE So my humor, I'd say, comes from a mixture of lowbrow comedy shows and highbrow theater. It'...
JASPER FFORDE I work very much on the principle that anything created by mankind has mischief and error hardwired ...
JASPER FFORDE Individual words, sounds, squiggles on paper with no meanings other than those with which our imagin...
JASPER FFORDE Ill-fitting grammar are like ill-fitting shoes. You can get used to it for a bit, but then one day y...
JASPER FFORDE There is no point in expending good money on the pursuit of an engine that can power aircraft withou...
JASPER FFORDE If you even *need* a government, added Stig, "you are a life-form flawed beyond redemption.
JASPER FFORDE [from the television show,"Evade the Question Time"]

At the end of the first round, I wil...
JASPER FFORDE Good. Item seven. The had had and that that problem. Lady Cavendish, weren’t you wor...
JASPER FFORDE Books may look like nothing more than words on a page, but they are actually an infinitely complex i...
JASPER FFORDE Take no heed of her.... She reads a lot of books.
JASPER FFORDE For myself, I favored the abstract. I collected not just obsolete terms and words, but ideas.
JASPER FFORDE I'll tell you what love is" I said, "It is blind devotion, unquestioning self humiliation, utter sub...
JASPER FFORDE Governments and fashions come and go but Jane Eyre is for all time.
JASPER FFORDE Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence.
JASPER FFORDE Sorry," [Hamlet] said, rubbing his temples. "I don't know what came over me. All of a sudden I had t...
JASPER FFORDE After all, reading is arguably a far more creative and imaginative process than writing; when the re...
JASPER FFORDE I'm not sure my books would translate into movies very easily. So rather than have someone do a ...
JASPER FFORDE I'm not of the opinion that the next logical step for a book is for it to be made into a film.
JASPER FFORDE Every book should have a romance.
JASPER FFORDE There is a contract between the reader and the writer. The readers give me their hard-earned cash, a...
JASPER FFORDE There is a certain degree of 'steampunkishness' that creeps into my books.
JASPER FFORDE When you're an author, you're always two people. Jasper the writer is different from Jasper ...
JASPER FFORDE I still feel threatened by academics, but my books have a lot of academic in-jokes and everybody ass...
JASPER FFORDE When I was about 10 or 11, I realised that people made movies; until then, I had thought they just h...
JASPER FFORDE If you give children the freedom to do very little, quite a lot will do very little.
JASPER FFORDE The fun one can have writing books about books is limitless, to be honest.
JASPER FFORDE Agents and publishers only want one thing - good writing.
JASPER FFORDE It took me ten years and seven books to bag an agent - it took me that long to start writing good.
JASPER FFORDE I just write books, and I do it without any notion of what I should do or shouldn't do.
JASPER FFORDE I hope that in my books there's an undertone of politics, basic tenets of how we should live.
JASPER FFORDE Speak to any editor and ask them what they turned down, and they'll have long lists of books.
JASPER FFORDE I started writing because I wanted to write scripts, but I wasn't very good at it. Then I starte...
JASPER FFORDE Our notions of self-determination are, on the whole, something of a myth. We are governed almost exc...
JASPER FFORDE In the creative industries, there are few things more exciting than a zinger - a thought, idea, line...
JASPER FFORDE My mind wanders terribly. I'm not wholly annoyed by my daydreaming as it has been immense use to...
JASPER FFORDE People who read my books have an open mind when it comes to new, bizarre, interesting and exciting i...
JASPER FFORDE Perhaps fantasy offers imaginative escapism more than other genres.
JASPER FFORDE I didn't set out to discover a truth. I was actually sent to the Outer Fringes to conduct a chair ce...
JASPER FFORDE The sky was like ebony and the only illumination was the harsh white light of the central streetlamp...
JASPER FFORDE I have a very varied taste in music. Everything from rap to classical to Latino to Rat Pack to jazz.
JASPER FFORDE …Negligible Senescence…
JASPER FFORDE Another one of your quippy japes?
JASPER FFORDE Sometimes I wonder if the human race isn't collectively as mad as a sack of door knobs.
JASPER FFORDE Religion isn't the cause of wars, it's the excuse.
JASPER FFORDE The government was to raise the duty on cheese to 83 percent, an unpopular move that would doubtless...
JASPER FFORDE There are two schools of thought about the resilience of time. The first is that time is highly vola...
JASPER FFORDE To each our own Hamlet.
JASPER FFORDE There's something rotten in the state of Denmark, and Hamlet says...it's payback time!
JASPER FFORDE The best lies to tell," said Jane, "are the ones people want to believe.
JASPER FFORDE You want me to spy on a National Colour operative?'
'Wow,' she said, 'you got it. I thought I w...
JASPER FFORDE The best plans are always the simplest.
JASPER FFORDE After all, color in itself has no color — it's simply a construction of the mind: a sensation, lik...
JASPER FFORDE But the truth inevitably found me, as important truths often do, like a lost thought in need of a mi...
JASPER FFORDE There is no problem on earth that can't be ameliorated by a hot bath and a cup of tea.
JASPER FFORDE Her areas of expertise are bar codes, book titles and maps - she has an original Parker Brothers map...
JASPER FFORDE 2.5.03.02.005: Generally speaking, if you fiddle with something, it will break. Don't.
JASPER FFORDE Unless the hole is MEANT to be square,' I said with a sudden erudition that surprised me, 'in which ...
JASPER FFORDE Because there's someone else here in East Carmin. Someone hopelessly unsuitable. It's all a really b...
JASPER FFORDE 2.3.06.02.087: Unnecessary sharpening of pencils constitutes a waste of public resources, and will b...
JASPER FFORDE He set fire to some potatoes, then cooked some undelivered post in the embers." - Dad
"Did he n...
JASPER FFORDE Marriage is an honorable estate and should not be used simply as an excuse for legal intercourse.
JASPER FFORDE Acceptable rules of conduct were suspended when it came to the spoon shortage. The deficit had gotte...
JASPER FFORDE I've managed to bring the backlog down to a mere sixty-eight years," she announced with some small s...
JASPER FFORDE Love isn't sensible, Red. I think that's the point.
JASPER FFORDE A surfeit of information often hides an untruth,” he said, with annoying clarity.
JASPER FFORDE I don't need you to agree with me," she said quietly." I'll go away happy with a little bit of doubt...
JASPER FFORDE Defiance through compliance.
JASPER FFORDE The youthful stationmaster wore a Blue Spot on his uniform and remonstrated with the driver that the...
JASPER FFORDE Were you listening to a word I said '
'I kind of switched off when you drew breath.
JASPER FFORDE If you enjoyed laughing in the face of death, you might like to have a crack at High Saffron. One hu...
JASPER FFORDE You many have noticed I have a temper ... but when I calmed down, I realized that this world, blight...
JASPER FFORDE Almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon.
JASPER FFORDE You see? I know where every single book used to be in the library.' She pointed to the shelf opposit...
JASPER FFORDE the best lies to tell are the ones people want to believe
JASPER FFORDE The safest course was actually the simplest-do nothing at all and hope everything turned out for the...
JASPER FFORDE The cucumber and the tomato are both fruit; the avocado is a nut. To assist with the dietary require...
JASPER FFORDE I also read about Heathcliff's unexpected three-year career in Hollywood under the name Buck Stallio...
JASPER FFORDE Who do readers expect to see when they pick up this book? Who has won the Most Troubled Romantic Lea...
JASPER FFORDE I was on HPD--Heathcliff Protection Duty--in Wuthering Heights for two years, and believe me, the Pr...
JASPER FFORDE Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just ... well, differently moraled, that's ...
JASPER FFORDE Comedy was one of those genres that while appearing quite jolly was actually highly dangerous.
JASPER FFORDE If you expect me to believe that a lawyer wrote A Midsummer Night's Dream, I must be dafter t...
JASPER FFORDE They turned their attention to the wardrobe that held several Armani suits, all of them individually...
JASPER FFORDE Father liked word games. He was fourteen times world Scrabble champion. When he died, we buried him ...
JASPER FFORDE Businessman, philanthropist, large egg.
JASPER FFORDE So you could value your own life," replied the Titan. "Before that you were under the gods' thumbs, ...
JASPER FFORDE She opened the door within two seconds of his pressing the doorbell, letting out a stream of cats th...
JASPER FFORDE This must have been how it all began with Chymes,” sighed Jack. “A small
omission on one ca...
JASPER FFORDE ALBINOS DEMAND ACTION ON MOVIE SLUR The albino community demanded action yesterday to stop their unf...
JASPER FFORDE If you drive at precisely twenty-nine miles per hour, the rumble strips play ‘Jerusalem’ on the ...
JASPER FFORDE Think of this: If it weren’t for greed, intolerance, hate, passion and murder, you would have no w...
JASPER FFORDE I loved him, officer. More than any woman ever loved an egg.
JASPER FFORDE You speak baby gibberish?' asked Jack.
'Fluently. The adult-education center ran a course, and ...
JASPER FFORDE Humpty had always sat on walls, it was his way.
JASPER FFORDE How many people want to read about three disreputable pigs and a dopey wolf with a disposition towar...
JASPER FFORDE Mr. Pewter led them through to a library, filled with thousands of
antiquarian books.
'Imp...
JASPER FFORDE Do I have to talk to insane people?"
"You're a librarian now. I'm afraid it's mandatory.
JASPER FFORDE The front room of his house was what I called 'untidy chic'. Prefects weren't subject to the same Ru...
JASPER FFORDE So you're going to have to ask yourselves on simple question: Which one of us is speaking now?
JASPER FFORDE Cucumbers are technically a fruit and in the same family as pumpkins, melons and squash, so it may b...
JASPER FFORDE Are you okay?" asked Finisterre.
"Annoyed," I said, giving him my hand so he could heave me to ...
JASPER FFORDE True and baseless evil is as rare as the purest good--and we all know how rare that is...
JASPER FFORDE Laughter is the best medicine - unless you're diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the li...
JASPER CARROTT I started to develop my comedy skills when I became resident singer at the Boggery Folk Club in Soli...
JASPER CARROTT I have a very happy marriage and friends who keep my feet on the ground. But looking for satisfactio...
JASPER CARROTT If I were to ask you who the first million-pound show winner was on British TV, you'd probably g...
JASPER CARROTT I was raised in South Carolina; I wasn't aware of any art in South Carolina. There was a minor m...
JASPER JOHNS There was very little art in my childhood. I was raised in South Carolina; I wasn't aware of any...
JASPER JOHNS There is no way in my right mind I would contemplate running 26 miles-plus unless it involved a chas...
JASPER CARROTT When the amalgam is delivered to your dentist in a special protective box, he has to take extreme ca...
JASPER CARROTT At first I had some idea that the absence of color made the work more physical. Early on I was very ...
JASPER JOHNS After leaving school, I got a job in a department store not dissimilar to Grace Bros in 'Are You...
JASPER CARROTT [To survive has required tenacity. Koreans are reported even to have murdered children and mixed the...
JASPER BECKER When you're six years old, the word 'poo' is the funniest word on God's earth, but t...
JASPER CARROTT My experience of life is that it's very fragmented; certain kinds of things happen, and in anoth...
JASPER JOHNS Intention involves such a small fragment of our consciousness and of our mind and of our life.
JASPER JOHNS My driving habits are so ingrained that the driving examiner would fail me in the first mile. That&#...
JASPER CARROTT Touring has been a major part of my career. I've done a lot of huge shows, including a 13-night ...
JASPER CARROTT I have no ideas about what the paintings imply about the world. I don't think that's a paint...
JASPER JOHNS Everyone is of course free to interpret the work in his own way. I think seeing a picture is one thi...
JASPER JOHNS The only logical thing I can think of is that I knew there were such things as artists, and I knew t...
JASPER JOHNS When I hit the scene, there was Billy Connolly and Max Boyce. It was all mother-in-law and Irish jok...
JASPER CARROTT I decided that if my work contained what I could identify as a likeness to other work, I would remov...
JASPER JOHNS There's a rumour going 'round that if you amass a certain number of penalty points on your d...
JASPER CARROTT Instead we were filling the newspaper with bland, harmless stories, and if there was anything sensit...
JASPER BECKER The internet is a perfect example of a beautiful mess.
JASPER HARTSUIJKER I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute M...
JASPER CARROTT I used to be a columnist for 'Golf Monthly' and have contributed articles for national newsp...
JASPER CARROTT It's kind of like the old Barry Sanders Rule. The first person to him wouldn't take a shot at him. F...
ED JASPER Am i on some distant battle field you say? No, I am but in my own mind and dreams replaying the batt...
JASPER WILKERSON Ringo isn't the best drummer in the world. He isn't even the best drummer in the Beatles.
JASPER CARROTT I tend to like things that already exist.
JASPER JOHNS The whole debate on what food is best for us is complex, ongoing and often controlled by vested inte...
JASPER CARROTT When you're playing every snap, the problem is you can't give 110 percent on every play.
ED JASPER I spent last year with [former Eagles defensive end Derrick] Burgess in Oakland, and he misses this ...
ED JASPER We need people. We got money. We don't have people.
ED JASPER [Gosh can one guy, I mean, only one, change a team so completely? Evidently he can. Yeah, I could qu...
ED JASPER That's one of the main reasons he deserves this (Pro Bowl). Teams are having to change their blockin...
ED JASPER Because it's easy to play defense like this. It's harder when the other team has 10 minutes more of ...
ED JASPER He's a backside runner. If he catches you running to the ball, he'll make you pay for it. Him making...
ED JASPER I bull-rushed the guy. He tackled me. The ref threw the flag, late. So I'm thinking he's calling hol...
ED JASPER It's a shame the way that game turned out because Tommy deserves more recognition than he's going to...
ED JASPER My real name is Bob Davis, but for some reason, I got the name Jasper while playing football at the ...
JASPER CARROTT As one gets older one sees many more paths that could be taken. Artists sense within their own work ...
JASPER JOHNS My Gullah grandfather is bringing a bag of dust to a vampire war. I feel better.
ELLE JASPER To do a drawing for a painting most often means doing something very sketchy and schematic and then ...
JASPER JOHNS Mine,” he whispered against my mouth. He kissed me again. “You are mine.”
In the ...
ELLE JASPER If Nelson keeps working at things and keeps believing in himself, he can go a long way.
JASPER WILLIAMS That's the only negative about this. These kids have been working hard all year for a win like this....
JASPER WILLIAMS This was a big win for us. We stepped up and played with a lot of energy tonight. We made some turno...
JASPER WILLIAMS The biggest thing is that we out rebounded them. We did a pretty good job on the boards. We pressure...
JASPER WILLIAMS I was just listening to my coach. He told me to quit thinking about my shot and just shoot it n let ...
JASPER WILLIAMS We didn't execute down the stretch. We didn't rebound during key possessions and that cost us the ga...
JASPER WILLIAMS This is definitely a step for Yahoo, and a step for the industry.
JASPER MALCOLMSON Industry-best prices will actually show up in Yahoo search results. We have created a search engine ...
JASPER MALCOLMSON I had a good year, but those guys had good years, too. It could have gone to any of us. I know it wa...
JASPER JOHNSON We're trying to do something that no other team at the school has done. We have a nice run going. We...
JASPER JOHNSON I have no reason to feel bitter or think about anything in the past. This is the best place I can be...
JASPER JOHNSON I felt comfortable around the guys. I felt it would be a good place for me. ... I respect Coach Rive...
JASPER JOHNSON The competition is better than I thought it'd be. And I'm glad of it. I just like to play, and when ...
JASPER JOHNSON Ideas either come or they don't come.
JASPER JOHNS We have a lot of good players returning from last year and our recruiting class is excellent. I will...
JASPER EDWARDS I really admire Rickey Bustle because he kept us up when everybody's head was down. He came in and s...
JASPER EDWARDS I wasn't there for spring drills last year, and they had me working out at wide receiver. During the...
JASPER EDWARDS At football practices the coaches and the players are really into it. The coaches are very hands-on ...
JASPER EDWARDS It's part of a pattern at the Post where they're gradually been getting rid of all the people who wr...
JASPER BECKER It's been successfully cheating its way with its nuclear program for something like 20 years, so I t...
JASPER BECKER [Details of that extravagance are drawn from Kim's former lackeys.] For all the immense privileges e...
JASPER BECKER