It's the way I tell em, It's a cracker.

At least with the Catholics, you know that when someone hands you a cracker there’s gonna be wine in the mix at some point.

He carved so many of them that the house used to look like a Cracker Barrel.

So I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller', he said 'Not you again'.

I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.

Someone threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins once and he drank it!