It's amazing how these little guys can say things that a mortal human could never get away with. There's some sort of unspoken license... when outlandish things come out of an inanimate object, somehow it equals humor.
Jeff Dunham
Related Some people can do things and get away with it. Comics are famously like that. Why is it that some g... CHRISTOPHER WALKEN There's something about seeing this little inanimate object coming to life that's just very ... TIM BURTON You can't just blame things on evil. Everyone's a human, so when people say that somebody... ERIC JOHNSON Some of my fans don't really like it when I respond to people who say things that are trying to ... RICKIE FOWLER Sometimes '24' can seem a little grand. Sometimes these things can seem a little outlandish. COREY HAWKINS I always design the hat with the wearer in mind; otherwise, it's an inanimate object. PHILIP TREACY And it's sort of an old-fashioned ER, in that it's very much about the medicine, and how the... LAURA INNES There's something sort of intrinsic in being a Southerner that doesn't go away. You can'... NATALIE ZEA My parents armed me with an amazing sense of humor, and it's what you need when, well, it's ... WARWICK DAVIS An object imbued with intent - it has power, it's treasure, we're drawn to it. An object dev... JOHN HOCKENBERRY I find it ridiculous to assign a gender to an inanimate object incapable of disrobing and making an ... DAVID SEDARIS Writers, actors, anybody working on an ensemble-type thing, there are going to be some creaks in the... EDIE FALCO I think it's just funny, the things that come out of people's mouths, whether it's a pol... JESSE WATTERS I can't help believing that these things that come from the subconscious mind have a sort of tru... BRIAN ALDISS When you're offered things, it makes it so much easier to be indecisive. And it's silly beca... ALICIA SILVERSTONE It's rare that I'm not at work on some sort of craft project. I've often enthused about ... DAVID RAKOFF There's an audience out there for all these different types of things. Whether it's comedy, ... RALPH MACCHIO I walk into a kids' store, and it's amazing, the types of instruments - little squeaky thing... EVELYN GLENNIE I have mixed feelings about how fast things are changing as a result of technology. There's no d... AMANDA CREW When it comes to celebrities and tabloids, to me that is a bummer. That's a little disappointing... JON FAVREAU Some of my books sort of have a provocative take. Sometimes you find interesting things about charac... NATHANIEL PHILBRICK It was contagious. You'd see kids get up there who you'd never expect had anything to say just come ... BRITTANY DELANEY When you get pure joy out of 'being' rather than 'doing' or 'seeing', that... BRENDAN FEHR It's not an epitaph. I felt I could look back at my life and get a good story out of it. It'... ALAN ALDA Sometimes when things are way too big and I can't control it, I do sort of a weird thing where I... HODA KOTB Becoming famous was never what I wanted to do. There's a lot of things that come with fame - it&... BRUNO MARS Here's what I'll say: some toys should be movies, and some toys should not be toys, and I... ALEX KURTZMAN 'Twisted' is similar to 'Pretty Little Liars' in that it's about trying to find ... AVAN JOGIA I'm not saying standardized tests are the worst ever, but there's an in-between and I don... ASHLEY RICKARDS I think it's funny how excited people can get about things I say that don't have anything to... RON POPE I live on a farm in Dorset. The nearest neighbour is a quarter of a mile away. It's really quiet... MARTIN CLUNES It's self-effacing, it's hard-luck, the shtetl stories. All those Coasters things are an ama... JERRY LEIBER I think there's a, you know, certain kind of freedom for me when I get on stage. Maybe it's ... LIV WARFIELD It's almost an out of body experience to see things that First Officer Jeff Skiles and I said in... CHESLEY SULLENBERGER There's just something about youth and comedy that go together. Maybe it's that foolishness,... JOE FLAHERTY One of the things I've learned with doing 'xkcd' is that you sort of give people, 'H... RANDALL MUNROE It's not a natural process, 'American Idol,' but it does great things for the people tha... CRYSTAL BOWERSOX I don't know how many sacred cows there are today. I think there's a little confusion betwee... BOB NEWHART It's incredibly fun to play someone that you don't like. It exorcises your own demons in a w... ED HELMS I didn't come to Hollywood. Hollywood came to me. A lot of people wish they could say the things... MR. T I don't even know if I always entirely get what I'm trying to say right away with lyrics. I ... KIM GORDON In America... it's not divided, but with Trump now, it's like you are asking for trouble. We... MO FARAH We all feel that if we have a crazy idea that might get laughed at, there's nothing wrong with s... STEVEN SPIELBERG It's fun to be there with the guys, to practice with them, arrange the balls, do this, do that, ... GORAN IVANISEVIC I think the reason I love 'Antiques Roadshow' is that it is sort of like the lottery. There&... LARA SPENCER It's hard to say goodbye to the streets. It's all how you do it. You can pass by and say, ... SNOOP DOGG It's not some big event that creates the drama, it's the little things of everyday life that... ASGHAR FARHADI There's public humor, and there's private humor, and they're all appropriate in their ow... ROBERT MANKOFF We keep putting on programmes about famine in Ethiopia; that's what's happening. Too many pe... DAVID ATTENBOROUGH It's easy to be lazy when there's food lying around backstage or there's a fast-food joi... ALEX KAPRANOS What's that show? 'TMZ'? They stand there and say, 'I've got this on this person... ANDRE LEON TALLEY An awful lot of people come to college with this strange idea that there's no longer segregation... JONATHAN KOZOL There are times when you come across somebody that's really impressive, someone that's got a... MICHELLE GOMEZ It's no big thing, but you make big things out of little things sometimes. ROBERT DUVALL I have this propensity to just come out and say things. That's how I am in real life. MIGUEL It's very juicy to twirl your mustache and figure out why people do the horrible things that the... ZELJKO IVANEK I guess some people are brilliant enough to be brilliant on their own and never doubt anything and c... MADONNA CICCONE It's funny - when you look at the real A-listers nowadays, look at how many live in and around H... DARREN BOYD I think the word 'earnest' kind of has a negative connotation on some level. I think one of ... JOSH RADNOR You can only do three things with your money. You can spend it. You can invest it. Or you can give i... DAVID RUBENSTEIN Most of the things that really matter require faith. 'How do I know that my wife loves me?' ... N. T. WRIGHT To me, respect for human life begins with making it more difficult to obtain an inanimate object tha... JEAN HANFF KORELITZ It's amazing the relationships you forge in a kitchen. When you cooperate in an environment that... ALEXANDRA GUARNASCHELLI Celebrity has some amazing advantages, of course it does. You're given an extraordinary power. I... GERI HALLIWELL When I paint, some things come out, and I don't know. Maybe it's because I have such talent ... YAYOI KUSAMA Sometimes random things that you wouldn't think mean anything mean so much to them. With kids, y... HEIDI KLUM The things I see now on TV and in movies are so outlandish. Kids doing rude things with pies! And th... SID CAESAR Three things about water affect almost all of cooking. First are the hydrogen bonds, which is why it... NATHAN MYHRVOLD There's beauty everywhere. There are amazing things happening everywhere, you just have to be ab... SARAH MCLACHLAN What's great about documentary, it seems to me, is that it can be experimental filmmaking. You h... ERROL MORRIS It's really amazing that in the age of unbelief, as a smart man called it, there isn't even ... BEN STEIN I'm a great admirer of Primo Levi's work. It's always mind-boggling, the idea of how muc... ALLAN GURGANUS There are certain times I don't want my picture taken. If my wife's stepping out of a car an... BOBBY DARIN There's three things: there's masculinity, there's intelligence, there's sensitivity... ALEC BALDWIN VR has a whole range of things it's very good at, and there's a lot of things that it's ... FREDDIE WONG I'm obsessive. That's the word for me. I obsess - perhaps to the point where it's modera... PATRICK ROTHFUSS Every time there's a new tool, whether it's Internet or cell phones or anything else, all th... RICK SMOLAN Outside of 'Justified,' I do like to keep it to comedy. When I'm not there, I try to see... NATALIE ZEA It's hard to shape glass. It took me years of practice, and as a result, I've never gotten b... JIM MCKELVEY Hopefully that was a coming-out party for some of these guys. When you're young and new and all the ... LARRY HAYS I hope Britney doesn't get bummed out that Lindsey is a better singer. It is not Lindsey saying ... VIRGINIA MADSEN Certainly I get a lot personally out of it as well, there's the recognition and things like that... BRIAN BEHLENDORF I'm not sure. But that bless-his/her-heart kind of melancholic humor is among my favorite things... DAVID RAKOFF One of the fun things as an actor is to find a character that if you were to look up a rap sheet abo... JASON RITTER I keep getting amazing things to bring to life. There's always something to discover with 'D... CHANDRA WILSON Most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only t... OSCAR WILDE People always ask me about 'Girls' with this kind of hesitation. What do I think of it? I lo... CALLIE KHOURI When you're down and out, there's no meaner place to live than Hollywood. You can get away w... DOMINICK DUNNE I guess Surrealism has a draw for me because it's an unknown world. It's a world of subconsc... GOTYE We forget the little things, so it's no wonder some of us screw up the big things. NEIL CAVUTO You know, my Grandpop Finnegan used to have an expression: he used to say, 'Joey, the guy in Oly... JOE BIDEN The Keystone pipeline is one of those things that's sort of a political driver. And mostly, the ... RODNEY FRELINGHUYSEN I think there is sexy. And then there's tacky sexy. When you're young, you can get away with... ANDIE MACDOWELL Computers are still technology because we are still wrestling with it: it's still being invented... DOUGLAS ADAMS It's one of these things that I've been struck by for so long about America. You know, this ... GEOFF DYER I'm interested in glorifying something that we in the world would say doesn't deserve being ... EDWARD RUSCHA It's amazing how much trouble you can get in when you don't have anything else to do. QUINCY JONES The wrestling world is unique. There are things that happened, and there are things that didn't ... SHAWN MICHAELS When you think of the sort of things that happen when a genocide happens, it's again not people ... DESMOND TUTU Every time I listen to Jeff Beck my whole view of guitar changes radically. He's way, way out, d... BRIAN MAY
More Jeff Dunham
We just got a tour bus. I didn't know tour buses could be this nice. It's just me, Brian Han... JEFF DUNHAM I've always said that instead of watching a guy juggle seven things amazingly I would rather see... JEFF DUNHAM Family time was very difficult when my girls were little, but I never missed a birthday; I was there... JEFF DUNHAM I think all the garbage in the world is thanks to a very small handful of idiots. JEFF DUNHAM My mother and my father have always supported me. Now in their eighties, they actually clamor onto t... JEFF DUNHAM All through college, I was searching for characters that would make me unique and set me apart from ... JEFF DUNHAM In 1980, when I graduated from high school, my goal was to be on 'The Tonight Show' with Joh... JEFF DUNHAM The best place to find material is in real life. I've always maintained that it's not until ... JEFF DUNHAM I think there's a lot of, unfortunately, unfunny ventriloquists out there, so they've got a ... JEFF DUNHAM Growing up doing those Kiwanis Clubs, doing those Cub Scout banquets, doing those church shows, I le... JEFF DUNHAM It's strange because even in the vaudeville days, ventriloquists were never the main attraction.... JEFF DUNHAM I had a happy, dramafree youth, growing up in an upper-middle-class neighborhood in Dallas, Texas. T... JEFF DUNHAM Up until college age I was using the typical little-boy dummy that sits on the knee and makes woodpe... JEFF DUNHAM When I was eight years old, I got a dummy for Christmas and started teaching myself. I got books and... JEFF DUNHAM A comedian needs to have his own filters, needs to know his audience, how far he can push things. JEFF DUNHAM I've skewered whites, blacks, Hispanics, Christians, Jews, Muslims, gays, straights, rednecks, a... JEFF DUNHAM I'm guilty of being fascinated by gadgets and toys and technology, but any penny that I spend, I... JEFF DUNHAM What I do for a living is whimsical and fun and ridiculous. I'm supposed to make people laugh. W... JEFF DUNHAM I'm a Macintosh nut. I got my PowerBook, so if I'm not writing jokes, I'm working on tha... JEFF DUNHAM I taught myself computer. Then Macintosh came along, and it became a really bad addiction. If I wasn... JEFF DUNHAM I've never been truly hammered... Never. Not even in college. I was too busy driving or flying a... JEFF DUNHAM I'm a pretty good ventriloquist, but it's the entertainment value and the laughs that keep p... JEFF DUNHAM The magic in performing as an entertaining ventriloquist happens when the characters come to life an... JEFF DUNHAM I think maybe one reason why ventriloquists are looked down on is because it's very difficult to... JEFF DUNHAM When I was in third grade I taught myself ventriloquism... What's hard is to learn to be an ente... JEFF DUNHAM But the mechanics of learning to 'throw your voice' are pretty simple. Anyone with a tongue,... JEFF DUNHAM As humans we like to laugh at our fears, we like to whistle in the dark. JEFF DUNHAM The only way a ventriloquist speaks differently is that he forgoes using his or her lips, and learns... JEFF DUNHAM Jeff: I understand you guys had a good day today? Peanut: Yes we had a great day! Jose: No... JEFF DUNHAM We've gotten so used to them making the playoffs, to not even come close was a disappointment. But I... JEFF DUNHAM I'm happy to see them doing well. I'm encouraged, and you don't really pull together as a team until... JEFF DUNHAM It will be less of a retail center and have more of a downtown, urban feel. JEFF DUNHAM Winter's not over yet. I'm sorry. We're just at the end of February here. ALAN DUNHAM The last time we were above freezing was actually, it looks like probably Saturday afternoon at some... ALAN DUNHAM We're not going to get out of the 20s again today. ALAN DUNHAM Low this morning was 10, but it felt a lot colder than that. Wind chills were a little below zero. ALAN DUNHAM Boston and south will have the worst of the storm. Travel will be hazardous because of icy condition... ALAN DUNHAM The 85 mph wind, that's hurricane force. ALAN DUNHAM It will be mostly cloudy in the upper 30s, pretty nice weather. ALAN DUNHAM There will be a lot of rain and sleet mixed in. ALAN DUNHAM I quit acting when I was 11 because I was cast as a bouncing ball in 'Alice in Wonderland,' ... LENA DUNHAM Efficiency is intelligent laziness. DAVID DUNHAM If you dance, you dance because you have to. Every dancer hurts, you know. KATHERINE DUNHAM We have a group of friends of the museum who try to raise, if they can, periodically something to he... KATHERINE DUNHAM Black people should have recognition for themselves and their backgrounds and their relationships wi... KATHERINE DUNHAM I really think that aside from admiring my talent you really admire me as a person and as a woman. KATHERINE DUNHAM I have actually five honorary degrees. KATHERINE DUNHAM When I graduated college I had a series of just humiliating jobs that I couldn't believe I was a... LENA DUNHAM Without my husband's costumes I wouldn't have known how to accomplish what I saw in my own m... KATHERINE DUNHAM I had certain physical limitations that made me change the choreography for myself or made me more i... KATHERINE DUNHAM It's very easy for me to say what success is. I think success is connecting with an audience who... LENA DUNHAM Haiti itself was also photographed, some of the streets, some of the mountains, rivers, streams, etc... KATHERINE DUNHAM When you want to organize knowledge. you will be careful to base the classification upon essential q... BARROWS DUNHAM Positive, healthy, loving relationships in your twenties... I don't know if anyone would disagre... LENA DUNHAM We don't intend to always keep this necessarily African oriented. Originally I had hoped to have... KATHERINE DUNHAM It's interesting how we often can't see the ways in which we are being strong - like, you ca... LENA DUNHAM I'm ridiculous in my oversharing; my mom and sister are very open but a little more judicious th... LENA DUNHAM A creative person has to create. It doesn't really matter what you create. If such a dancer want... KATHERINE DUNHAM I don't think Ed Sullivan had anything to do with Carib Song. KATHERINE DUNHAM I love flawed female characters, duking it out. LENA DUNHAM I feel like you don't know if someone's equipped for a romantic relationship until they'... LENA DUNHAM I sort of tend to equate tattoos with prisoners, punks or people with a high level of self-confidenc... LENA DUNHAM I certainly feel my career was a great career because it inspired so many many people, literally hun... KATHERINE DUNHAM I never thought of myself as like, a funny person. LENA DUNHAM Gerber's just an awesome player. I give her props for being this tall and she can see the floor so w... MARIAH DUNHAM Pay for one commercial package and add one or more free programs. Set the primary package to scan al... KEN DUNHAM A lot of the problem is a matter of us believing in ourselves. Everybody has an excuse in the beginn... DAVID DUNHAM I felt a little twinge in the groin. I tried playing with it to see if the groin would loosen up, an... MIKE DUNHAM Sometimes I have given my husband a manuscript to read that has turned out to have fantastic rave re... KATHERINE DUNHAM I really believe engagement is a way to solve international problems, through dialogue and discussio... ARCHIE DUNHAM The Western oil companies have really been kept out of Saudi Arabia for many, many years, and I thin... ARCHIE DUNHAM I think clearly, Gov. Bush would be much more pro business. ARCHIE DUNHAM When it's low-budget, and you have one other person on the set, you have to make rules. LENA DUNHAM They're bloodsucking mosquitoes. You just can't get them all. KEN DUNHAM I learned that people are much more game to mock their own personas than you would think. LENA DUNHAM I always imagined that having a baby is something that I'm going to keep in a private place, but... LENA DUNHAM Go within every day and find the inner strength so that the world will not blow your candle out. KATHERINE DUNHAM I take the position that, because of the ex post facto clause, in essence, my client is being held f... DARRELL DUNHAM But Saudi Arabia and Kuwait offer, I think, the best opportunities in the gas sector. ARCHIE DUNHAM I mean, I - it's so funny, I am, you know, I am, you know, a working woman out in the world, but... LENA DUNHAM I think that people in the phase between being someone's kid and being someone's parent have... LENA DUNHAM The way I saw it, I was fully capable of being treated with indifference that bordered on disdain wh... LENA DUNHAM This could serve as a springboard for more attacks on the Macintosh because it might spawn copycats. KEN DUNHAM in particular among his siblings. FRANK DUNHAM You should boot from a clean disk before removing a virus. Some viruses can't be cleaned any other w... KEN DUNHAM We put a lot of extra runners on base. Then we had some untimely errors and they had timely hitting. DAVE DUNHAM I used to want the words "She tried" on my tombstone. Now I want "She did it." KATHERINE DUNHAM I wasn't concerned about the hardships, because I always felt I was doing what I had to do, what I w... KATHERINE DUNHAM The evil is not that you cannot change human nature. The evil is that human nature cannot change you... BARROWS DUNHAM A summary witness is ordinarily a dispassionate presenter, FRANK DUNHAM Here's what I have to say about being married: someday you will look at him, hating him with every f... LENA DUNHAM She has never listened to Deepak Chopra, switched to almond milk, or meditated. Yet she is here, in ... LENA DUNHAM I am happy to know that my husband regards me as a woman and a person. KATHERINE DUNHAM I refresh Twitter as thoughtlessly as some twirl their hair. LENA DUNHAM I'm half Jewish half WASP. LENA DUNHAM I am not a particularly political person, but, as a Tribeca resident, the commodification of Septemb... LENA DUNHAM I sometimes want to make a book of every tattoo I wanted to get before I actually got a tattoo, beca... LENA DUNHAM We don't get it, but we get sanctions. It doesn't really matter where that witness is if there is a ... FRANK DUNHAM Let's call a spade a spade - a lot of times when you are a vegetarian it is a just not very effe... LENA DUNHAM I have only touched one other computer at my friend Marissa's house, and found the experience discon... LENA DUNHAM There is something vulnerable about showing your tattoos to people, even while it gives you a feelin... LENA DUNHAM She played a great defensive game. We all played great defense, it was our best defensive game of th... DAVE DUNHAM It was sloppy and we were rusty. Four of our girls just came off the basketball team and we're not q... DAVE DUNHAM I think this is good law. At some point in time, we have to say to defendants that if the statute of... DARRELL DUNHAM I think since the date of his arrest, my client has been held illegally. I think his constitutional ... DARRELL DUNHAM I used to want the words 'She tried' on my tombstone. Now I want 'She did it.' KATHERINE DUNHAM I always thought the saddest feeling in life is when you're dancing in a really joyful way and t... LENA DUNHAM There is a food fight going on there in the Executive Branch, I am sure. FRANK DUNHAM Obviously I'd like the man released. I think they [the government] probably concluded some time ago ... FRANK DUNHAM Whoop-dee-ding! They did the right thing. The court had to stand up for Hamdi. It's about all of us.... FRANK DUNHAM We don't even know if a guilty plea is going to be accepted by the judge on Friday. FRANK DUNHAM We could have people locked up all over the country tomorrow. The government saying 'trust us' is no... FRANK DUNHAM We have never authorized detention of a citizen in this county without giving him an opportunity to ... FRANK DUNHAM somewhat of a surprise, but not a total surprise. FRANK DUNHAM All adventurous women do. LENA DUNHAM Let's be reasonable and add an eighth day to the week that is devoted exclusively to reading. LENA DUNHAM There's just way too much excess going on in our country. People throw things away and don't appreci... LAURA DUNHAM I think the year anniversary kind of puts an end to that period of time when the mourning is over. LAURA DUNHAM The ocean can give life and easily take life. It was important for me, personally, to have some clos... LAURA DUNHAM You know, this isn't theatre like it used to be. KATHERINE DUNHAM Frequently producers have partners that they never let the public know about. KATHERINE DUNHAM Aside from a few master teachers that we have had over the years, this has been a completely local t... KATHERINE DUNHAM We had maybe the greatest success of any company that I know of in Paris, and after two or three yea... KATHERINE DUNHAM For the kind of thing that we were showing, the budget was sufficient. As we were speaking of in Hai... KATHERINE DUNHAM Don't think you are going to go on forever because you are not and begin to plan something that ... KATHERINE DUNHAM So many dancers paint. I used to paint. I started again recently. While I was dancing, I was very bu... KATHERINE DUNHAM I could never live a nonproductive life and I feel that I have lived a productive life as far as I w... KATHERINE DUNHAM My work has been much more Caribbean and eclectic. I am interested in people, and where they come fr... KATHERINE DUNHAM The older I grow the more I see the influence of my family on my life. I didn't always see it. I... KATHERINE DUNHAM The best career advice given to the young is: 'Find out what you like doing best and get someone to ... KATHERINE DUNHAM It's hard for a girl that short to see the floor as well as she does. Maybe she is small, but her pa... MARIAH DUNHAM We were trying to get offense going but we couldn't get anything going. We started going poor on our... MARIAH DUNHAM Women saying, 'I'm not a feminist' is my greatest pet peeve. Do you believe that women should be pai... LENA DUNHAM Every time I start feeling sexy I trip. LENA DUNHAM It strikes me as a sound, honest statement for a prospective voter to say: 'Look, I haven't ... JEFF GREENFIELD I do believe we have voter fraud in America. JEFF SESSIONS Where I grew up, I could be a punk rocker and a jock. But in college, it became apparent that those ... JEFF AMENT I cherish my privacy, and woe betide anyone who tries to interfere with that. JEFF BECK Richard Donner's friendship and guidance showed me that there's more to life than being an a... JEFF COHEN That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. JEFF FOXWORTHY Market leadership can translate directly to higher revenue, higher profitability, greater capital ve... JEFF BEZOS We expect all our businesses to have a positive impact on our top and bottom lines. Profitability is... JEFF BEZOS If you're competitor-focused, you have to wait until there is a competitor doing something. Bein... JEFF BEZOS It's not an experiment if you know it's going to work. JEFF BEZOS Life's too short to hang out with people who aren't resourceful. JEFF BEZOS What's dangerous is not to evolve. JEFF BEZOS I write for kids because I think the most interesting (and most humorous) stories come from people... JEFF KINNEY People are roasting each other at parties, at work events, around the fire. It's so fun. People ... JEFF ROSS If you can't tolerate critics, don't do anything new or interesting. JEFF BEZOS Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it? JEFF FOXWORTHY 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' is my first book, and it's the fulfillment of a life-long dream. ... JEFF KINNEY I know Elon, we're very like minded in many ways. We're not conceptual twins. One thing I wa... JEFF BEZOS Tyria's a big world. We get a grand tour in 'Ghosts of Ascalon.' We're in Divinity... JEFF GRUBB When the blood of thousands of Americans is shed, the impact lingers. For a generation after the Civ... JEFF GREENFIELD You obviously don't really forget how to play the old songs; you just don't have to spend so... JEFF TWEEDY I think frugality drives innovation, just like other constraints do. One of the only ways to get out... JEFF BEZOS Most cynics are really crushed romantics: they've been hurt, they're sensitive, and their cy... JEFF BRIDGES It's not about finding relevance or perfection or imperfection in objects, but it's that you... JEFF KOONS There's kind of a Zen aspect to bowling. The pins are either staying up or down before you even ... JEFF BRIDGES The beauty of the Internet is that anybody can be a broadcaster now. JEFF ZUCKER When I was growing up, my house was filled with books. My mother was an educator, and my father was ... JEFF KINNEY Some states like Nebraska have thus far responsibly managed their budgets, even in tough times, and ... JEFF FORTENBERRY Puberty was the main culprit in ending my acting career. I went from being kind of this chunky littl... JEFF COHEN The Census Bureau can ask citizens very invasive questions, and if they don't respond, the gover... JEFF DUNCAN While the Census Bureau already has a legal obligation to keep people's information confidential... JEFF DUNCAN Monkeys can't talk, stupid! JEFF KINNEY What Richard and Mildred Loving did was, by their nature, not by any calculus, they separated themse... JEFF NICHOLS I think Vice is vastly overrated. And I think that if you are interested in reaching young males, wh... JEFF ZUCKER Why - because as a oil and gas small business owner - I know if someone is not doing their job, they... JEFF LANDRY Protestations of indifference to higher office are hard to take seriously when the 'non-candidat... JEFF GREENFIELD One of the pillars of backward thinking in America is the idea that you can have jobs or you can hav... JEFF GOODELL I'm actually the son of Mary Guibert. My mother was born in the Panama Canal zone and came to Am... JEFF BUCKLEY I certainly try to avoid getting bogged down in forensics. There is certainly a whole lot of other w... JEFF LINDSAY I love the ocean. Boats, not so much. JEFF GOLDBLUM You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remem... JEFF FOXWORTHY Sensitivity isn't being wimpy. It's about being so painfully aware that a flea landing on a ... JEFF BUCKLEY It is very difficult to get people to focus on the most important things when you're in boom tim... JEFF BEZOS Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if y... JEFF FOXWORTHY People can transcend and overcome their differences and be very easily bonded. JEFF FORTENBERRY If I'm on form and I'm not being bothered too much by mental problems or whatever, I can whi... JEFF BECK It's not a born-again thing; it was a peaceful, really, really cool moment where I just felt tha... JEFF FISHER For the first time I could remember, I felt weak, woozy and stupid— like a human-being. Like a ver... JEFF LINDSAY There is no such thing as political science, but there are tenancies so strong that they might as we... JEFF GREENFIELD Stop trying to treat music like it's a tennis shoe, something to be branded. If the music indust... JEFF TWEEDY For special wrestlers, there's somewhere else to go - as long as you're not brainwashed by t... JEFF HARDY From the industry's point of view, the problem is not that coal companies blast the top off moun... JEFF GOODELL I'm lying in my bed, blanket is warm, this body will never keep me safe from harm. I still feel ... JEFF BUCKLEY I am not going to approve the home-screening format for my film just carte blanche in lieu of a thea... JEFF NICHOLS Editorial pages all say, 'Well, the other guy has a point, too. It remains to be seen how this w... JEFF MACNELLY I am not the Jeff Sessions my detractors have tried to create. I am not a racist. I am not insensiti... JEFF SESSIONS I've never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished the fifth grade a year before I did. JEFF FOXWORTHY Some of these people need ten years of therapy --ten sentences of mine do not equal ten years of the... JEFF ZASLOW But there is a limit to thinking about even a small piece of something monumental. You still see the... JEFF VANDERMEER I am not shy about admitting my modest talents. For example, I am happy to admit that I am better th... JEFF LINDSAY You can't do everything but you can do something! JEFF DIXON Acting is nothing more or less than playing. The idea is to humanize life. JEFF GOLDBLUM Cats are smarter than dogs. You can not get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. JEFF VALDEZ Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. JEFF PESIS Two monologues do not make a dialogue. JEFF DALY Change happens in the boiler room of our emotions... so find out how to light their fires. JEFF DEWAR