It gets real costly if all of a sudden we have to buy toilet paper. Stuff like milk and meat can run thousands of dollars a year.

I can tell you, going out to buy toilet paper in the U.S. is a completely predictable experience.

If you can market smut and toilet paper, you can market movies.

I like getting toilet paper thrown at me.

Please wipe your vagina good and wash it good. There is nothing more unattractive then your man finding toilet paper crumbs in your vagina.

When somebody follows you 20 blocks to the pharmacy, where they watch you buy toilet paper, you know your life has changed.