Imagination is the ability to produce new ideas without the need of time to stop and actually think about it. I'll produce elevator buttons - I bought that business from Jarod Kintz, who was only selling it, because he found a new, more profitable job – male prostitution (he’s selling his grandpa’s services, not his own, because his own are virtually non-existent – he’s a monk now, and monks are sworn to celibacy, you know, or should, by now). Buy now - grieve later. Two 5th floor buttons for your floorless cardboard-built tree house, for the price of one, 7-story tall tree, which, for the purpose of this story we’ll call Nathan. Nathan sends you its best regards and wishes you a happy, silent, well-watered-down life, which, coming from a tree isn’t really that much, however, as you know - trees aren’t regular customers in the land of walking and talking, and it took quite a lot of convincing to make him come over and say that. Meow.


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As a bookish adolescent, I sopped up texts as if I were blotting paper and they were fluid.
WILL SELF
Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committ...
GEORGE WILL
Saturday Night Live is such a comedy boot camp in a way, because you get to work with so many differ...
WILL FERRELL
The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse ...
WILL ROGERS
Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.
WILL ROGERS
I've been collecting articles on extremophile bacteria for at least the last ten years. I find t...
WILL HOBBS
You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people.
WILL ROGERS
It's great to be great, but it's greater to be human.
WILL ROGERS
I have always said that a conference was held for one reason only, to give everybody chance to get s...
WILL ROGERS
The most interesting thing in the world is another human being who wonders, suffers and raises the q...
WILL DURANT
Diplomats are just as essential in starting a war as soldiers are in finishing it.
WILL ROGERS
Do anything in this world but monkey with somebody eles's religion. What reasoning of conceit makes ...
WILL ROGERS
Fanatical religion driven to a certain point is almost as bad as none at all, but not quite.
WILL ROGERS
It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
WILL ROGERS
I think hopefully we've got enough brain cells left to decide if our music is really worth somet...
WILL CHAMPION
Strangers are just friends I haven't met yet.
WILL ROGERS
I need to try and get away from that brat role, or people are going to think I'm a natural brat.
WILL POULTER
In the early days of the Indian Territory, there were no such things as birth certificates. You bein...
WILL ROGERS
Believe in something for another world, but don't be too set on what it is, and then you won't start...
WILL ROGERS
The person with the best job in the country is the vice president. All he has to do is get up every ...
WILL ROGERS
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
WILL ROGERS
I tell you folks, all politics is applesauce.
WILL ROGERS
No party is as bad as its leaders.
WILL ROGERS
Politics is not worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space.
WILL ROGERS
The more you read and observe about this politics thing, the more you've got to admit that each part...
WILL ROGERS
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
WILL ROGERS
This country has gotten where it is in spite of politics, not by the aid of it. That we have carried...
WILL ROGERS
The reason political party platforms are so long is that when you straddle anything it takes a long ...
WILL ROGERS
If you ever injected truth into politics, you would have no politics.
WILL ROGERS
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and their politicians as jokes.
WILL ROGERS
It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out the next morning that it was s...
WILL ROGERS
Ronald Reagan has held the two most demeaning jobs in the country; President of the United States an...
GEORGE WILL
I used to do prank calls as these people and try to convince certain hoteliers that I was someone el...
WILL TUDOR
All I know is what I read in the papers.
WILL ROGERS
The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the ...
WILL ROGERS
The gap between ideals and actualities, between dreams and achievements, the gap that can spur stron...
GEORGE WILL
America is a great country, but you can't live in it for nothing.
WILL ROGERS
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best o...
WILL ROGERS
We are given children to test us and make us more spiritual.
GEORGE WILL
It is no longer enough to be lusty. One must be a sexual gourmet.
GEORGE WILL
Live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
WILL ROGERS
About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an i...
WILL ROGERS
America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.
WILL ROGERS
Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House an...
WILL ROGERS
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you
WILL ROGERS
There is no argument in the world that carries the hatred that a relioious belief does. The more lea...
WILL ROGERS
Most of us spend too much time on the last twenty-four hours and too little on the last six thousand...
WILL DURANT