I'm so ugly - I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I'm so ugly - My mother had morning sickness - After I was born

Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'

I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.