FastSaying
I'm a terrible lover. I've actually given a woman an anti-climax.
Scott Roeben
Woman
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I have no luck with women. I once went on a date and asked the woman if she'd brought any protection. She pulled a switchblade on me.
— Scott Roeben
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I was on a game show. When I lost, they gave me a lovely parting gift. It was a comb.
— Scott Roeben
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Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range.
— Scott Roeben
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As a lover, I'm about as impressive as a magician on the radio.
— Scott Roeben
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Those prizes in Cracker Jacks are a joke. I once got a magnifying glass. It was so poorly made, ants were laughing at it.
— Scott Roeben
Prizes
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