If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline.
Anonymous
Related
Little distractions were quite annoying. I can almost tell you the phone number she was giving on th...
NADIA PETROVA We coordinate with Qwest to transfer your phone number from Qwest to us. Keep your same phone number...
CHARLIE KING Olivia. Your marriage wont last. Tell Noah the truth; be fair. when you do, come find me, and ill gi...
TARRYN FISHER I always tell my kids if you lay down, people will step over you. But if you keep scrambling, if you...
MORGAN FREEMAN Keep not ill men company, lest you increase the number.
GEORGE HERBERT You can get a hometown phone number so your relatives can dial a local number, and it's routed to yo...
LOUIS HOLDER Beggars should be entirely abolished! Truly, it is annoying to give to them and annoying not to give...
FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE The company should have a physical location and phone number listed on its Web site. You need to hav...
HOLLY CHERICO There's nothing that compels you to give them your number, however, there is equally nothing in the ...
KURT CZARNOWSKI Tell the customer whatever you have to tell them. Tell them if these phone lines are not connected, ...
FRANK MARTINEZ Beggars should be abolished entirely! Verily, it is annoying to give to them and it is annoying not ...
FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE You tell your kids that no matter what, you set your goals and you go for them. Whatever it is you a...
JOEL PARKINSON We joke about having late-onset ADD. There are plenty of days I can't tell you what day it is. I can...
KARLA STAUBLE If you put your cell phone number on there, people are going to use it,
BILL HOPKINS [When she interviewed Matt Damon]Is there anything you want me to ask you, besides your phone number...
PINK Ill keep my memories. Its all moldy and mildew and I have asthma.
AARON NEVILLE Perhaps you are just close to what you have been waiting for all along and ideas start formulating i...
ISRAELMORE AYIVOR The thing about members of your family is that if you met them for the first time at a party, you mi...
CELIA IMRIE Cheer those passing through tough times but trying to smile all the same. Encourage them to keep try...
LATIKA TEOTIA Face your financial issues head on. Open your bills, pick up the phone, call your lender. If applica...
JEAN CHATZKY One last thing. End of Watch is fiction, but the high rate of suicides—both in the United States a...
STEPHEN KING Do you wish the world were better?Let me tell you what to do.Set a watch upon your actions,Keep them...
ELLA WHEELER WILCOX I have to keep reminding my students, asking them, "What is your experience of listening to this? Do...
JAMES TENNEY Never compromise your "Self-respect" for "Love". If feel like you are loosing your "Self-respect" fo...
SHARFARAZ AHMED You could take your old phone number, leave the phone company and save 20 to 25 percent, but still h...
ANDREW JOHNSON You can't do deals out of Australia. If you put 011 before your phone number, no one will return you...
EVAN THORNLEY Cram your head with characters and stories. Abuse your library privileges. Never stop looking at the...
JENNIFER WEINER I tell them this isn't about me, it's about you. This is your time. I keep telling them not to worry...
BOB WALSH If you disclose your alms, even then it is well done, but if you keep them secret, and give them to ...
QURAN Give away all you like, but keep your bills and your temper.
IRISH PROVERB Give me the fruitful error any time, full of seeds, bursting with its own corrections. You can keep ...
VILFREDO PARETO How about your phone number?
JOSE CANSECO One day my kids will ask me, Papa how did you survive and what brought you this far?
Then i will tel...
GOLDEN MASHEGO Give me the benefit of your convictions, if you have any; but keep your doubts to yourself, for I ha...
JOHANN WOLFGANG VON GOETHE Tell me about yourself your struggles, your dreams, your telephone number.
PETER ARNO Tell me about yourself - your struggles, your dreams, your telephone number.
PETER ARNO Tell me about yourself your struggles, your dreams, your telephone number.
PETER ARNO If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids ...
MARIO BATALI If you know who your kids are and what they are doing - you are going to be better prepared to keep ...
BILL DEVINE He's kind of the middle link between the departments and the tipsters helping to keep them anonymous...
BRIAN HAMRIC Don't ever give up on your kids. And do not be afraid to confront them - I can't tell you how many t...
BILL DEVINE My grandmother said, 'Idle hands are the devil's workshop,' ... We want to keep kids busy with posit...
MAHDI BRAY You need to keep people close. You need to give them access to your heart.
MITCH ALBOM Your joys and sorrows. You can never tell them. You cheapen the inside of yourself if you do tell th...
GRETA GARBO Anonymous comments? You're not in the arena, man. If you can't say it to me in person in fro...
BRENE BROWN You know your problem, Quentin? You keep expecting people not to be themselves. I mean, I could hate...
JOHN GREEN Hide them all, then. Keep her – them – safe. Please.'
And what will you give me in return, ...
J.K. ROWLING Besides the obvious difference, there was not much distinction between losing a best friend and losi...
JODI PICOULT Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?
JAMES THURBER Me plus you. (Imma tell you one time) Me plus you. (Imma tell you one time)
Me plus you. (Imma ...
JUSTIN BIEBER If you have nothing to give to people, give them gentle smile and (or) kind word!
Give them love; gi...
NAS KIRIAKOS They take these cute pictures of their kids and then give up on them because simple things, like put...
DAN SHAPIRO I've decided to tell my kids things like: 'I love the way each of you tilted back your heads...
RANDY PAUSCH The events that happen in our lives make us who we are ,we can either give in to them and let them w...
GARY F EVANS... If you’re dealing with a difficult colleague or an annoying relative, be diplomatic and apply wisd...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA Of course if you like your kids, if you love them from the moment they begin, you yourself begin all...
WILLIAM SAROYAN Now the Health Department needs to publicize its existence wherever it can. Otherwise you have a hot...
ARTHUR LEVIN As a novelist, I tell stories and people give me money. Then financial planners tell me stories and ...
MARTIN CRUZ SMITH Psychologists say and studies show that if you give them the bad news first, that they're HIV positi...
BASHA CLOSIC If you tell your own story to your children - that includes your positive moments and your negative ...
BRUCE FEILER I tell writers to keep reading, reading, reading. Read widely and deeply. And I tell them not to giv...
ANITA DIAMENT Your brain with all its parts, exists to keep you safe, but your mind, with all your memories and in...
TONI SORENSON I keep it real with the kids. I tell them about what society offers and you can either take advantag...
DONALD YOUNG If you can keep your head about you when all about you are losing theirs, its just possible you have...
JEAN KERR If you can keep your head about you when all about you are losing theirs, its just possible you have...
ROSE F. KENNEDY To keep it simple you run your gym like you run your house. Keep it clean and in good running order....
JOE GOLD I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ...
KELLY JONES I'm not affiliated with either Wikileaks or Anonymous - of course, it's not like I would tel...
JONATHAN NOLAN It's not an easy thing to captive-breed a falcon. You need to take extreme care of its diet and ...
SHAHID KHAN If you hold a candle close to you, its flame rises. And if you hold it away from you, its flame shri...
SUZY KASSEM Know that any and all thoughts that you have regarding your own skills, interests, and inclinations ...
WAYNE DYER I tell kids to have dreams, have goals, and believe in them because if you have any doubt, worry or ...
TORII HUNTER Karma is a bitch, and she's got your home phone number...
JOHN RUSSELL Google, Amazon, Apple. Any number of cloud providers and computer service providers who can increasi...
JOHN PERRY BARLOW If you would keep your Secret from an enemy, tell it not to a friend.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN The kids have been asking me how are we getting to do all these things. I tell them all I know is di...
JASON BLEDSOE If you want to annoy your neighbors, tell the truth about them.
PIETRO ARETINO Read the material carefully. If you find it's unfavorable, it's worth a phone call to issuers to tel...
GERRI DETWEILER If you're a writer, write. You just keep writing. And if you're a filmmaker, you keep doing ...
DANA BRUNETTI Girls, give all your gentlemen friends an even break, even if you have to break them in the attempt.
MAE WEST I know you two are old and up past your bedtime so ill keep this quick.
SARAH J. MAAS Tell me what company you keep and I'll tell you what you are.
MIGUEL DE CERVANTES Tell me what company you keep and I'll tell you what you are.
MIGUEL DE CERVANTES SAAVEDRA If you want to give a man credit, put it in writing. If you want to give him hell, do it on the phon...
CHARLES BEACHAM Give your kids a bloody knife and fork and let me put some fresh food in front of them they can eat.
JAMIE OLIVER ...and tell you the worst of me and try to give you the best of me...
SARAH KANE Forgive your enemies, but don't give them a second chance to stay in your life and destroy you again...
MOONI YOLINO Let your children go if you want to keep them.
MALCOLM STEVENSON FORBES Let your children go if you want to keep them.
MALCOLM S. FORBES Give, and you may keep your friend it you lose your money; lend, and the chances are that you lose y...
EDWARD G. BULWER-LYTTON Don't let your kids inherit your own beliefs, instead give them the chance to be innovative.
ALAA ABI JOMAA If you would keep your secret from an enemy,
tell it not to a friend.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN If you hold a candle close to you, its flame rises. And if you hold it away from you, its flame shri...
SUZY KASSEM My advice to kids is give it your all! Give it 110 percent and don't give up!
VANESSA HUDGENS To keep it simple you run your gym like you run your house. Keep it clean and in good running order....
JOE GOLD You can take your phone with you. Even if you're in China, your phone calls are local.
JEFF BROWNING Your kids will tell things to strangers that they will never tell to you.
DAVE AUSDENMOORE The second thing you have to do to be a writer is to keep on writing. Don't listen to people who tel...
ROBIN HOBB The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
WILSON MIZNER I was calling you earlier when your name and number flashed up on my cell’s screen. But instead of...
SHAYE EVANS
More Anonymous
Animals are human just like us in a different shape and form so do not abuse them.
ANONYMOUS ANONYMOUS You don't have to touch someone to love them, It's not in the kiss, It's in the times you don't kiss...
ANONYMOUS ANONYMOUS Glory be to Him who changes others and remains Himself unchanged!
ANONYMOUS Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone one who loves is born of God an...
ANONYMOUS May the God who gives endurance and encouragement
give you a spirit of unity among yourselves ...
ANONYMOUS Some men are born with cold feet; some acquire cold feet; and some have cold feet thrust upon them.
ANONYMOUS Epperson's law: When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can be...
ANONYMOUS Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
ANONYMOUS Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
ANONYMOUS Marriage is like a box of chocolates. You have to squeeze a few bottoms to make sure you like what y...
ANONYMOUS Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
ANONYMOUS Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
ANONYMOUS It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
ANONYMOUS He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.
ANONYMOUS All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
ANONYMOUS A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What do yo...
ANONYMOUS A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
ANONYMOUS Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
ANONYMOUS Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...b...
ANONYMOUS Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her o...
ANONYMOUS Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family d...
ANONYMOUS The most expensive wedding usually ends with the quickest divorce.
ANONYMOUS Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
ANONYMOUS Leadership is the ability to hide your panic from others.
ANONYMOUS An expert knows all the answers -- if you ask the right questions.
ANONYMOUS Time cuts down all, Both great and small.
ANONYMOUS Few cases of eyestrain have been developed by looking on the bright side of things.
ANONYMOUS Be an optimist -- at least until they start moving animals in pairs to Cape Canaveral.
ANONYMOUS Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell. •Anonymous Many an o...
ANONYMOUS Some of the smallest situations are the biggest to some people.
ANONYMOUS Man endures pain as an undeserved punishment; woman accepts it as a natural heritage.
ANONYMOUS Defeat may test you; it need not stop you. If at first you don't succeed, try another way. For eve...
ANONYMOUS Anarchy - it's not the law, it's just a good idea.
ANONYMOUS Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
ANONYMOUS A friend is one to whom you can pour out the contents of your heart, chaff and grain alike. Knowin...
ANONYMOUS Friendship is a living thing that lasts only as long as it is nourished with kindness, empathy and u...
ANONYMOUS She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.
ANONYMOUS many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. charm is deceptive, beauty is fleeting; but a ...
ANONYMOUS Lady Wisdom will be your close friend; and Brother Knowledge will be your pleasant companion.
ANONYMOUS When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
ANONYMOUS It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is in the heart, not in the circumstances.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is possible only when one is busy. The body must toil, the mind must be occupied, and the ...
ANONYMOUS Happiness is like jam. You can't spread even a little without getting some on yourself.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is the overcoming of not unknown obstacles toward a known goal.
ANONYMOUS Happiness seems to be the result of something happening — inactivity is not very exhilarating.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is not pleasure, it's victory.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is the art of never holding in your mind the memory of any unpleasant thing that has passe...
ANONYMOUS Happiness is not given but exchanged.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is not a matter of good fortune or worldly possessions. It's a mental attitude. It comes f...
ANONYMOUS If happiness could be brought, few of us could pay the price.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you turn your a...
ANONYMOUS So live that your memories will be part of your happiness.
ANONYMOUS Happiness consists in activity; such as the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and ...
ANONYMOUS Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is not always measured in smiles.
ANONYMOUS Happiness lies in our own backyard, but it's probably well hidden by crabgrass.
ANONYMOUS Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
ANONYMOUS The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
ANONYMOUS Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle ...
ANONYMOUS Faith is like electricity. You can't see it, but you can see the light.
ANONYMOUS To reprove small faults within due vehemence, is as absurd as if a man should take a great hammer to...
ANONYMOUS My friend, why have you drifted so far away? All motion is relative, maybe it is you who have moved ...
ANONYMOUS The happiest business in all the world is that of making friends, And no investment on the street pa...
ANONYMOUS Flattery looks like friendship, just like a wolf looks like a dog.
ANONYMOUS Remember that the faith that moves mountains always carries a pick.
ANONYMOUS When you laugh, be sure to laugh at what people do and not at what people are.
ANONYMOUS The sound of a kiss is much softer than that of a cannon - but it's echo lasts a great deal longer.
ANONYMOUS Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding i...
ANONYMOUS A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
ANONYMOUS When life throws a lemon at you, you throw it straight back at life and miss completely. That's my l...
ANONYMOUS Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.
ANONYMOUS Aging is a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
ANONYMOUS I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, ...
ANONYMOUS تبسمك في وجه أخيك صدقة، وأمرك بالمعروف صدقة ونهيك عن ال...
ANONYMOUS The first men to be created and formed were called the Sorcerer of Fatal Laughter, the Sorcerer of N...
ANONYMOUS Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you...
ANONYMOUS And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
ANONYMOUS Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for ...
ANONYMOUS Anyone who is having troubles should pray. Anyone who is happy should sing praises. Anyone who is si...
ANONYMOUS I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.
ANONYMOUS Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us.
ANONYMOUS Store front sign: Entire store on sale, everything $1 or more.
ANONYMOUS If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.
ANONYMOUS Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone.
ANONYMOUS I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out?
ANONYMOUS My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!
ANONYMOUS If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters.
ANONYMOUS Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
ANONYMOUS It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too,...
ANONYMOUS One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less t...
ANONYMOUS The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
ANONYMOUS In my house dirty dishes are like rabbits, they keep multiplying.
ANONYMOUS How do you get a Kleenex to dance?
Put a little boogy in it!
ANONYMOUS For you, I would swim across the ocean. LOL, just kidding, there are sharks in there.
ANONYMOUS Why does Chuck Norris' calendar go directly from March 31 to April 2nd? Nobody fools Chuck Norris!
ANONYMOUS I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.
ANONYMOUS Stop the earth from spinning, I want to get off!
ANONYMOUS If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.
ANONYMOUS The last thing that blew my mind was the wind.
ANONYMOUS Why do you always see lightning first and hear the thunder later? Because your eyes are in front of...
ANONYMOUS Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I ...
ANONYMOUS Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits.
ANONYMOUS Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas.
ANONYMOUS My kitchen cleaner says "for a clean kitchen" so I can't use it, mine is dirty.
ANONYMOUS Of course I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
ANONYMOUS Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.
ANONYMOUS When there's a will, I want to be in it.
ANONYMOUS Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
ANONYMOUS When is the longer way always better than the shorter one? When you're a taxi driver.
ANONYMOUS As long as everything is exactly the way I want it.. I'm totally flexible.
ANONYMOUS When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my ...
ANONYMOUS Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn.
ANONYMOUS What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
ANONYMOUS I'm going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I'm outstanding.
ANONYMOUS Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
ANONYMOUS I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.
ANONYMOUS Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework.
ANONYMOUS Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
ANONYMOUS Newspaper Ad: Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!!
ANONYMOUS I bet you anything that I can stop gambling right now.
ANONYMOUS My doctor prescribed laughter as the most efficient medicine. Unfortunately the pharmacist said too ...
ANONYMOUS Finding a treasure is like working on algebra equations, all you have to do is find the X.
ANONYMOUS I'm trying to think how I can think of what I want to think.
ANONYMOUS People think.....
I'm skinny, but I'm really chunky.
I'm cheap, but I'm really thrifty. ANONYMOUS I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty. T...
ANONYMOUS I lost control. Offering reward to anyone who finds it.
ANONYMOUS Chuck Norris is so amazing he can:
Light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.<...
ANONYMOUS Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time a...
ANONYMOUS He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!" And he thought, "wow this ...
ANONYMOUS I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition.
ANONYMOUS I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
ANONYMOUS Stop! You're under arrest for being too sexy. Your sentence is an eternity inside my heart.
ANONYMOUS Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park.
ANONYMOUS It's 11PM, do you know where your pants are?
ANONYMOUS Son, employees are like mules. Some you stand in front of and coax them along with a carrot. Some yo...
ANONYMOUS Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're...
ANONYMOUS Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!
ANONYMOUS I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake.
ANONYMOUS How do I like my eggs? In a cake.
ANONYMOUS My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museu...
ANONYMOUS Birthdays are nature's way of feeding us cake.
ANONYMOUS What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
ANONYMOUS I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
ANONYMOUS There was a robot invented in China that catches thieves. In Australia it caught 10 thieves, in Ame...
ANONYMOUS I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows.
ANONYMOUS How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? They both have an iPhone.
ANONYMOUS Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.
ANONYMOUS Smile while you still have teeth.
ANONYMOUS Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible.
ANONYMOUS After many years of studying my Geography book I finally know by heart that Australia is on page 23.
ANONYMOUS Funny sign at health spa: Fresh 10,000 year old mud for sale.
ANONYMOUS I always mean what I say, I don't always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.
ANONYMOUS I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable.
ANONYMOUS True love is truly amazing only when it's truly true.
ANONYMOUS Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms.
ANONYMOUS Is it good if a blow dryer blows?
ANONYMOUS Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
ANONYMOUS Never test how deep the water is with both feet.
ANONYMOUS Never judge a book by it's movie
ANONYMOUS I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my ...
ANONYMOUS When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.
ANONYMOUS Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself.
ANONYMOUS If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your sm...
ANONYMOUS My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I'd have to do.
ANONYMOUS I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.
ANONYMOUS Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast...
ANONYMOUS I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close ...
ANONYMOUS Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted ...
ANONYMOUS Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon.
ANONYMOUS Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying.
ANONYMOUS I'm not really a control freak, but... can I show the right way to do that?
ANONYMOUS A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
ANONYMOUS I once finished first on my running team, then the coach asked me where everyone else is.
ANONYMOUS Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
ANONYMOUS Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red!
ANONYMOUS Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing.
ANONYMOUS Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge.
ANONYMOUS I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down.
ANONYMOUS The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people al...
ANONYMOUS I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom.
ANONYMOUS The amount of time it takes for a minute to go by is proportionally dependent with the distance to t...
ANONYMOUS Bathroom sign above toilet: It's like basketball, the basket is bigger than the ball! Learn to sco...
ANONYMOUS I can't wait for that to never happen.
ANONYMOUS I liked the movie Titanic, my favorite character was the iceberg.
ANONYMOUS Sports top moment: to score a goal but miss in the re-play.
ANONYMOUS Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light.
ANONYMOUS Rudeness top moment: to scare an ostrich on an asphalt street.
ANONYMOUS I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.
ANONYMOUS Always be positive. *Trips down the stairs* Whew, I got down those stairs fast.
ANONYMOUS Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible.
ANONYMOUS An expert is a person who has made every possible mistake in a small field of study.
ANONYMOUS My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me."
ANONYMOUS Just because it's called makeup, it doesn't mean it should make up 100% of your face.
ANONYMOUS You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar.
ANONYMOUS Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.
ANONYMOUS It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase al...
ANONYMOUS If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patte...
ANONYMOUS Whenever you feel stupid, remember that there are people outside searching for Pokemon.
ANONYMOUS