If you haven't signed anything, you cant be ripped off.


Dave Sim

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Friendship... is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of fr...
MUHAMMAD ALI
If what you did yesterday seems big, you haven't done anything today.
LOU HOLTZ
If you haven't cried, your eyes can't be beautiful.
SOPHIA LOREN
If you haven't had a few dents in your resume, you haven't tried.
ANDREW FORREST
Calling it off comes easy enough if you haven't told the girl you are smitten with her.
CARL SANDBURG
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
ALICE ROOSEVELT LONGWORTH
If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettie...
KIN HUBBARD
I come from the place of thinking, 'Whatever works for people' - and if you haven't been...
RACHAEL HARRIS
If you learn from defeat, you haven't really lost.
ZIG ZIGLAR
If quantum mechanics hasn't profoundly shocked you, you haven't understood it yet.
NIELS BOHR
Dave Sim said in his latest thing of his, 'when you're on the right track, you'll know i...
EDDIE CAMPBELL
Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any an...
ALFRED HITCHCOCK
If you're not a daydreamer, you haven't got any imagination.
DAVID CASSIDY
If you want to stay in the business then you've got to be a bit shrewd, haven't you?
KATIE PRICE
You haven't lost anything when you know were it is. Death can hide but not divide.
VANCE HAVNER
If you know how much you've got, you probably haven't got much.
IMELDA MARCOS
If you haven't forgiven yourself something, how can you forgive others.
DOLORES HUERTA
When I started my airline business, I didn't know everything, right? If I start up a newspaper t...
TONY FERNANDES
You haven't been on tape, nobody sees what you can do, nobody sees how you play, so they don'...
STEFON DIGGS
You can't be a first-world economy in the 21st century if you haven't laid the groundwork to...
WAYNE SWAN
Long-time viewing of Internet violence tend to change a person's temperament, making the person pron...
YOU QUANXI
If positive and healthy materials are absent, negative materials are sure to be dominant in the cybe...
YOU QUANXI
In a robust global business environment, our business units operated well in the first quarter. More...
HARRY YOU
The Board of Directors and I are pleased to recognize Peter's outstanding contribution to the succes...
HARRY YOU
We are pleased to close the books on 2004 following the painstaking review of almost five years of f...
HARRY YOU
If I have a 100 percent batting average, you should fire me, because it means we haven't tried a...
LARRY BRILLIANT
It's pointless, unless you can get the data on and off (the SIM).
BILL RAY
You can't sweep other people off their feet, if you can't be swept off your own.
CLARENCE DAY
Listen, it's very easy not to be ripped off, you know. Get yourself a lawyer.
SAMANTHA FOX
If my uniform doesn't get dirty, I haven't done anything in the baseball game.
RICKEY HENDERSON
you cant win in life if you cant fail
VITA NEDERLOE
Successful people have a bigger fear of failure than people who've never done anything because i...
JAY-Z
Why do you eat? Why to sleep? If you cant be a trustworthy person, cant be a true lover, cant be a g...
WRITER GRADED
You cant be afraid to take a risk. You can't be afraid to take a risk because you think you migh...
LINDA MCMAHON
The first lesson is that you can't lose a war if you have command of the air, and you can't ...
JIMMY DOOLITTLE
If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life.
TOMMY LASORDA
You cant live champagne life,if you cant buy beer.
I DONT KNOW
If you don't say anything, you won't be called on to repeat it.
CALVIN COOLIDGE
At Uber, we say, 'Always be hustling.' Even if you are an introvert and you haven't got ...
TRAVIS KALANICK
the thing is you can get used to anything you think you cant you want to die but you dont you cant y...
ELIZABETH SCOTT
Your connections might get you in the door, but it won't keep you there. And if you haven't ...
VIC MIGNOGNA
Maybe because I'm a child of the '80s, but for me, a sequel is a story that follows the prev...
FEDE ALVAREZ
I do believe that if you haven't learnt about sadness, you cannot appreciate happiness.
NANA MOUSKOURI
If you can go through life without experiencing pain you probably haven't been born yet.
NEIL SIMON
I act like I'm 14, if you haven't figured that out yet.
DAVID COPPERFIELD
You've either got it or you haven't.
LIAM GALLAGHER
If there are people you haven't forgiven, you're not going to really awaken. You have to let...
ECKHART TOLLE
I haven't read a newspaper in 20 years. I don't look at the computer or anything. You have t...
EDDIE MURPHY
If there wasn't mystery, people wouldn't have anything to ponder. If you already knew everyt...
EMMA ROBERTS
If you haven't found something strange during the day, it hasn't been much of a day.
JOHN ARCHIBALD WHEELER
If you think Wall Street firms have it good, you haven't looked closely at Big Oil.
JEFF GOODELL
To be honest, I still feel like I haven't scratched the surface of where I want to be. If someon...
CORY HARDRICT
If you want to uncover problems you don't know about, take a few moments and look closely at the...
BOB PARSONS
If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
BOB HOPE
If you haven't learned by now that you cant trust everybody, i think its safe to say that you are th...
BRIELL ADAMS
We haven't had to defend anything to anybody.
ETHAN COEN
The main thing in acting is honesty, to feel the humanity and get to the essence of the character. Y...
GENEVIEVE BUJOLD
If you're going to be part of a nationally televised show that airs live and do sketches that ha...
CASEY WILSON
Even if you go to Australia today, it's very much like visiting a state you haven't been to.
PAT OLIPHANT
No person is perfect. I haven't, thank God, had any infidelity issues. But you can't say wha...
TASHA SMITH
If in the last few years you haven't discarded a major opinion or acquired a new one, check your...
GELETT BURGESS
If you haven't read 'In The Morning I'll Be Gone', I reckon it's a pretty good p...
ADRIAN MCKINTY
If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven'...
JEAN KERR
Life is something like a trumpet. If you don't put anything in, you won't get anything out.
WILLIAM CHRISTOPHER HANDY
That's the funny thing about religion: it doesn't matter what you say, you're going to upset some...
LEWIS BLACK
Even the mundane task may have something to teach you - especially if it's a task you haven'...
ADENA FRIEDMAN
Don't write anything you can phone. Don't phone anything you can talk. Don't talk anythi...
EARL LONG
The thing we all know is that you can't take a day off... in anything. If you do, the next thing...
CHAD KELLY
Don't be afraid if you are being ignored be so good that people cant ignore you.
BILAL SAIF
I haven't leaked anything to anybody. They are wrong!
W. MARK FELT
If you don't suffer, you don't get anything. Nothing easy in life.
BIKRAM CHOUDHURY
We all choke. You're not human if you haven t.
CURTIS STRANGE
Failure doesn't mean you are a failure it just means you haven't succeeded yet.
ROBERT H. SCHULLER
If you're trying to be a successful writer, and you go into a second-hand bookshop, it's the...
MARK HADDON
If you haven't understood the world you're living in, it's impossible to think that the ...
EDDIE OBENG
I can't even speak Hawaiian, but if you go there and listen to a Hawaiian song, you get captured...
BRUNO MARS
I want to make the IKEA of clothes for fat girls and boys. Cheap, affordable, basic - but ethically ...
BETH DITTO
I've never actually directed anything I haven't made up. I've never adapted anything.
HARMONY KORINE
If you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
ERICA JONG
You don't go into anything contemplating failure, because if you did, you wouldn't make it.
SIMON COWELL
This is the worst of it, the last resort. If you cant come here, you cant go anywhere.
CHRIS STERNDALE
Life is like a trumpet - if you don't put anything into it, you don't get anything out of it...
WILLIAM CHRISTOPHER HANDY
I don't like facial hair, and I don't like kissing facial hair, as you cant find the lips.
GOLDIE HAWN
Painting is damned difficult - you always think you've got it, but you haven't.
PAUL CEZANNE
You don't want to dwell on your enemies, you know. I basically feel so superior to my critics fo...
JOHN IRVING
What do you know? Haven't you heard of suspension of disbelief?
ED WOOD
It can be hard to say if someone has a deliberate intent to defraud or if they are just really, real...
VICTORIA STRAUSS
If you're presenting yourself with confidence, you can pull off pretty much anything.
KATY PERRY
In theatre, you've got to make the connect with your audience in the first three minutes. If you...
OM PURI
If you always have a crutch, you don't learn anything.
BEN SAVAGE
Successful people have a bigger fear of failure than people who've never done anything because i...
JAY-Z
You're not allowed to write about me if you haven't seen 'The Shawshank Redemption.'...
ZACK GREINKE
I think it's imperative to follow your heart and choose a profession you're passionate about...
STEVE KERR
There's no point in being grown up if you cant be childish sometimes.
DR. WHO
If you haven't got it. Fake it! Too short? Wear big high heels, but do practice walking!
VICTORIA BECKHAM
A continual atmosphere of hectic passion is very trying if you haven't got any of your own.
DOROTHY L. SAYERS
I haven't signed as many films as I'd like to because there are no good roles, as dishearten...
SAMANTHA RUTH PRABHU
I've fancied other women, but I haven't done anything about it.
KYLIE MINOGUE
These people are fascinated by me, but I haven't done anything.
FRANCES BEAN COBAIN
When anyone tells you cant achieve anything, it's because they fear your greatness.
@ICONIC88

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Anything done for the first time unleashes a demon.
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The evidence that I see around me in society indicates that not only is thinking very much out of fa...
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Leftist reactions are always histrionic.
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As soon as you go into merchandising, everyone nods sagely and says, 'Ah, now we know why you ar...
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'Cerebus' is my attempt at a literary work.
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For the first time in your conscious memory; for the first time in fact, since your were a baby; a s...
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These are ideas. I could say that they just came to me, but it would be more accurate to say that I ...
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Gone is the blinding glow in his hands - gone, too, is the illusion of purity and beauty! In it's pl...
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Everyone is normal until you get to know them
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Once a profound truth has been seen, it cannot be 'unseen'. There's no 'going back' to the person yo...
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I know what you're going to say! 'They are men, and men should be free.' A free man is dangerous to ...
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I think the more rational explanation is that the excision of a five-to-six-foot leech from the surf...
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There is nothing wrong with making mistakes, but one should always make new ones. R...
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Women, he would say, are not Muses. Muses are Muses. To confuse one with the other is to mistake the...
DAVE SIM
North American leftists just keep trying to relive the '60s, or to make the '60s happen agai...
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I like the idea that my audience doesn't see what I do as controversial.
DAVE SIM
I'm comfortable having a specific audience to write to. I like the idea that my audience doesn&#...
DAVE SIM
Leftists always want to... circle around subjects... rather than addressing any subject directly.
DAVE SIM
I know what you're going to say! 'They are men, and men should be free.' A free man is d...
DAVE SIM
Feminists are in an untenable position, defending something they no longer believe in, and which his...
DAVE SIM
Everyone is normal until you get to know them.
DAVE SIM
Once a profound truth has been seen, it cannot be 'unseen'. There's no 'going back&#...
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I feel more confident and like I have more to say. I feel like I'm working more than ever, not j...
OLIVER SIM
There very likely was something else going on that caused this event,
DAVID SIM
It appears that there was very likely something else going on in his case that caused him to have th...
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You don't see these magnets come out. They're half the size of a popcorn kernel.
SIM OSBORN
We are going to train the toilet cleaners to upgrade himself or herself to a level where he or she c...
JACK SIM
We are going to train the toilet cleaners to upgrade himself or herself to a level where he or she c...
JACK SIM
Why is the sky blue but the sun is always red? The sky is always sad and the sun is always happy. Th...
SIM STEVENZ
Don't challenge resistance. Don't resist challenge.
SIM STEVENZ
We have never had a Midget tournament here. The highest we've had is Bantam. And it's the first nati...
TED SIM
I watched Ward wrestle before and knew what he liked to do. I had a game plan and followed it. I sta...
TYLER SIM
My writing has changed a lot. From 16 to 19, I've changed a lot. My kind of writing in the begin...
OLIVER SIM
It's long overdue. It can't get worse than what's already happening. It can only get better.
JACK SIM
I know of some toilets in Korea where you can drink tea -- you don't feel you are in an awkward situ...
JACK SIM
We have been conditioned not to talk about it,
JACK SIM
We are going to train the toilet cleaner to upgrade himself or herself to a level where he or she ca...
JACK SIM
There are 2,6 billion people in the world who have no toilets, ... They are toilet-less and what we ...
JACK SIM
After shopping for one or two hours, customers want to visit the toilet and if toilet not good, they...
JACK SIM
The Code of Practice is needed for all new buildings before they can get licence to occupy. So it's ...
JACK SIM
The bill is coming out. We've been working with NEA (National Environment Agency) for some time now.
JACK SIM
That's those finishing few holes - they can just really eat you up if you're not on your game.
MICHAEL SIM
We want to see [these dogs] caught before they do any more damage. I don't know how dangerous these ...
SIM DAVIDSON
If Nature is opposed, we will fight her and make her obbey us.
SIMóN BOLíVAR
If my death contributes to the ceasing of the parties and to the consolidation of the union,
I s...
SIMóN BOLíVAR
God grants victory to perseverance.
SIMóN BOLíVAR
An ignorant people is the blind instrument of its own destruction.
SIMóN BOLíVAR
The first duty of a government is to give education to the people
SIMóN BOLíVAR
The United States appear to be destined by Providence to plague America with misery in the name of l...
SIMóN BOLíVAR
Out of the most secure things, the most secure is to doubt.
SIMóN BOLíVAR
I do still get shocked every once in a while when I catch my reflection when I'm walking past a ...
DAVE MATTHEWS
Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But...
DAVE ATTELL
Everyone has a breaking point, turning point, stress point, the game is permeated with it. The fans ...
DAVE WINFIELD
Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.
DAVE BARRY
We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admi...
DAVE BARRY
Instead of sailing off into the sunset, he hopes to sail into the next century.
DAVE ANDERSON
For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.
DAVE BARRY
What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another pe...
DAVE BARRY
Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.
DAVE BARRY
Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is ...
DAVE BARRY
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will ...
DAVE BARRY
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to a...
DAVE BARRY
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
DAVE BARRY
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso...
DAVE BARRY
The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.
DAVE BARRY
I never excelled at one sport or had a very strong passion for anything other than wrestling and bod...
DAVE BAUTISTA
A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are t...
DAVE ATTELL
As an individual, I think you have to find your own path. I like the simplicity and purity of Hindui...
DAVE DAVIES
I had a few brushes with death, where I nearly chose to go. The final one in 1996 did it for me. I s...
DAVE GAHAN
The important thing to remember is that bugs don't actually talk.
DAVE FOLEY
When people get disillusioned and get insecure and content about the future, they tend to brood abou...
DAVE DAVIES
Jazz isn't dead yet. It's the underpinning of everything in this country. Whether it's a...
DAVE BRUBECK
And that's actually the brunt of what we do is, people going straight from their workplace, stra...
DAVE EGGERS
That's country music for you - bourbon and the Bible.
DAVE HAYWOOD
So this is the space during tutoring hours. It's very busy. Same principles: one-on-one attentio...
DAVE EGGERS
You can do and use the skills that you have. The schools need you. The teachers need you. Students a...
DAVE EGGERS
The Left likes to think of itself as the bulwark of progressive liberal individualism, and yet it se...
DAVE BRAT
Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
DAVE BARRY
A standard sitcom... is a very standard idea, like these people falling in love and living with each...
DAVE FINKEL
Standing out as a writer today requires more than a bright idea and limpid prose. Authors need to be...
DAVE MORRIS
Empire Square production finishes in about a month's time, so at the moment, right now, I'm ...
DAVE ROWNTREE
It is criminal to put our servicemen and women in harm's way and to put the lives of so many civ...
DAVE MATTHEWS
We don't have enough people going into those fields and there is a high burnout rate in some hea...
DAVE OBEY
Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is th...
DAVE BARRY
If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
DAVE BARRY
The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes i...
DAVE BARRY
I go to see some big shows of other bands, and I feel like I'm so bombarded and over-stimulated ...
DAVE GAHAN
I'm tired of high policy talks. I want to focus on nuts and bolts.
DAVE FREUDENTHAL
The thing that will never go away is that connection you make with a band or a song where you're...
DAVE GROHL
I played a homosexual bodyguard in 'The Last Detective,' and that was quite a pleasure to do...
DAVE LEGENO
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso...
DAVE BARRY
The baby boomer surge is forcing society to face decisions about costs - and particularly what is va...
DAVE DEBRONKART
Granted, a long book can be as daunting as a hard one. I nearly reached for 'Game of Thrones'...
DAVE MORRIS
Joy comes from places you least expect it. It's usually the simple things, like watching my son ...
DAVE GAHAN
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to...
DAVE BARRY
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or...
DAVE BARRY
The waves of love roll throughout the Universe, and overflow in our hearts..
Everything is ONE!
DAVE ZEBIAN
I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a mor...
DAVE BARRY
I'm so alive.

As I stand facing the beauty of the never-ending Pacific Ocean, a late afte...
DAVE PELZER
'Breaking Bad' and 'The Shield' were planned right from the start so that their narr...
DAVE MORRIS
I found there's a fairly blatant racism in America that's already there, and I don't thi...
DAVE MATTHEWS
I want to make hand-held music, undiminished by the need to make everybody in the world listen at on...
DAVE SITEK
We all have to die some day, if we live long enough.
DAVE FARBER
We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless...
DAVE BARRY
The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitutio...
DAVE BARRY
There just isn’t enough cock in this world to be caught suckin’ and be called anything but a slu...
DAVE MATTHES
...you're either gonna spend your life fucking pussy, or taking it to church.
DAVE MATTHES
I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.
DAVE BARRY
That’s what books do. They are the building blocks, the DNA, if you will, of you. Think of everyth...
DAVE EGGERS
I will not wait to love as best as I can. We thought we were young and that there would be time to l...
DAVE EGGERS
Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on.
DAVE BARRY
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know ...
DAVE BARRY
You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident."
DAVE BARRY
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
DAVE BARRY
I'd take a nerf bullet for you.
DAVE BARRY
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car...
DAVE BARRY
The first person who decided to say a word instead of throwing a rock can be considered the starter ...
DAVE BARRY
It was not that Adam ate the apple for the apple's sake, but because it was forbidden. It would have...
DAVE BARRY
I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to r...
DAVE BARRY
Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.
DAVE BARRY
I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it.
DAVE BARRY
In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is ba...
DAVE BARRY
Books have a unique way of stopping time in a particular moment and saying: Let’s not forget this.
DAVE EGGERS
Wake up naked drinking coffee
Making plans to change the world
While the world is changing...
DAVE MATTHEWS
Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see wi...
DAVE BARRY
Can you imagine the reaction of a British tabloid newspaper if they found a small school in rural En...
DAVE GORMAN
We have advantages. We have a cushion to fall back on. This is abundance. A luxury of place and time...
DAVE EGGERS
How could I have been anyone other than me?
DAVE MATTHEWS
My band career ended late in my senior year when John Cooper and I threw my amplifier out the dormit...
DAVE BARRY
As a rule, software systems do not work well until they have been used, and have failed repeatedly, ...
DAVE PARNAS
Don't get suckered in by the comments ... they can terribly be misleading.
DAVE STORER
Giving half answers won't make the conversation half as long.
DAVE JOHNSON
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would b...
DAVE BARRY
A theme is a memory aid, it helps you through the presentation just as it also provides the thread o...
DAVE CAREY
What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be...
DAVE BARRY
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popula...
DAVE BARRY
Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated ...
DAVE BARRY
Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.
DAVE BARRY
There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who ...
DAVE BARRY
The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the ...
DAVE BARRY
It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in...
DAVE BARRY
In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went...
DAVE BARRY
Although Golf was originally restricted to wealthy Protestants, today its open to anybody who owns h...
DAVE BARRY
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybo...
DAVE BERRY
I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any ...
DAVE BARRY
The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
DAVE BARRY
A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer
DAVE BARRY
It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mer...
DAVE BARRY
Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the p...
DAVE BARRY
The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they...
DAVE BARRY
My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.
DAVE BARRY
The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withst...
DAVE BARRY
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should aris...
DAVE BARRY
The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.
DAVE BARRY
The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas...
DAVE BARRY
We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless y...
DAVE BARRY
Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that h...
DAVE BARRY
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant's life, she will choose to sa...
DAVE BARRY
And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to ta...
DAVE BARRY
The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious pe...
DAVE BARRY
Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.
DAVE BARRY
New York Taxi Rules:1. Driver speaks no English.2. Driver just got here two days ago from someplace ...
DAVE BARRY
Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organiza...
DAVE BARRY
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won...
DAVE BARRY
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
DAVE BARRY
Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
DAVE BARRY
Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
DAVE BARRY
I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are our Hope for the Futu...
DAVE BARRY
One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a compute...
DAVE BARRY
If you can't excell with talent, triumph with effort.
DAVE WEINBAUM
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with th...
DAVE BARRY
Our environmental problems originate in the hubris of imagining ourselves as the central nervous sys...
DAVE FOREMAN
Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see wit...
DAVE BARRY
We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but ...
DAVE BARRY
We are not meant to know everything, Mae. Did you ever think that perhaps our minds are delicately c...
DAVE EGGERS
You sit at a desk twelve hours a day and you have nothing to show for it except some numbers that wo...
DAVE EGGERS
It’s not that I’m not social. I’m social enough. But the tools you guys create actually manufa...
DAVE EGGERS
Even in a country like the USA where fitness has become an obsession, most people exercising do not ...
DAVE WILSON
Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, usi...
DAVE BARRY
We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this i...
DAVE BARRY
Life's real failure is when you do not realize how close you were to success when you gave up.
DAVE CHECKETT
You can't choose what you're famous for in life.
DAVE KELLETT
The English language was carefully, carefully cobbled together by three blind dudes and a German dic...
DAVE KELLETT
A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple lea...
DAVE MEURER
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should aris...
DAVE BARRY
The future is no place to place your better days.
DAVE MATTHEWS
Nothing can do what a book can do. Lifts you out of your life... to a whole new world, whole new per...
DAVE KELLETT
I was trying to make the web more civil. I was trying to make it more elegant. I got rid of anonymit...
DAVE EGGERS
Gang violence in America is not a sudden problem. It has been a part of urban life for years, offeri...
DAVE REICHERT
It's all very boring to say that we get along great and all that and sometimes we mock up come a...
DAVE EDMUNDS
To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.
DAVE BARRY
American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, includi...
DAVE BARRY
Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television witho...
DAVE BARRY
In terms of personalities - I don't care about the personalities, I want leadership that's i...
DAVE BRAT
I became a war hero before going on to critical acclaim as a professional victim.
DAVE PELZER
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
DAVE BARRY
When you please others in hopes of being accepted, you lose you self-worth in the process.
DAVE PELZER
Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who re...
DAVE BARRY
I work 338 days a year, 16 hours a day.
DAVE PELZER
At a family's most difficult time, I want to make sure at a minimum that they have the very basi...
DAVE REICHERT