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As soon as you go into merchandising, everyone nods sagely and says, 'Ah, now we know why you are doing it.'


Dave Sim

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This is too much reality for a Friday.
AS GOOD AS IT GETS If someone says, hey, you know, this long weekend, let's go skydiving - I would say, no, are you...
RICK MERCER Dave Sim said in his latest thing of his, 'when you're on the right track, you'll know i...
EDDIE CAMPBELL Now, as a comic, if you're vaguely amusing you can go straight into TV, then you play the O2 and...
ALEXEI SAYLE But TV has changed completely. It's not until you come into people's homes that everyone say...
GABRIEL MANN As soon as you have an average game, everyone is quick to criticise and say, 'You suck; you shou...
FRANCOIS HOUGAARD If you can't describe what you are doing as a process, you don't know what you're doing.
W. EDWARDS DEMING It's just madness. First email. Then instant message. Then MySpace. Then Facebook. Then LinkedIn...
MARK MCKINNON People see what they want to see
SUSAN BETH PFEFFER As soon as you go into any biological process in any real detail, you discover it's open-ended i...
JOSHUA LEDERBERG As soon as you get two actors in a room and they're locking eyes, they're doing a scene.
MARTIN FREEMAN I think if you're gonna do something as silly and lighthearted as entertainment, then why not be...
CHELSEA HANDLER I think that when you're making your way up in the music industry, you have all these heroes and...
TAYLOR SWIFT It's a whole other ball game and I am glad that I fit into that space where, whatever it is that...
BOOTSY COLLINS I go into a young film director's office these days and he says, 'Hey man, I know who you ar...
MAKO As soon as you become a parent, everyone gives you their parenting advice. It's like an onslaugh...
ESSIE DAVIS People who are exceptionally intelligent are often lonely because there are few people as intelligen...
HELEN MCCRORY We had our little spats ah you know he's asked why don't you leave why don't you go home you know an...
KAREN ORR You know, fame is a funny thing, man, especially, you know, actors, musicians, rappers, rock singers...
EMINEM Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You...
RAY ROMANO You just have to go as far as you can go. Everyone works his way up.
DAVID ORTIZ I'm getting a lot of stick because my character in 'Young Dracula' wanted to be vampire,...
CRAIG ROBERTS And if you can’t shape your life the way you want, at least try as much as you can not to degrade ...
CONSTANTINOS P. CAVAFIS I like this place and could willingly waste my time in it.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Religion is run by thought police. 'Obey. Listen. This is what you do. Don't ask questions. ...
TOMMY CHONG As far as working out, I know exactly what I'm doing.
EVANDER HOLYFIELD My life at home gives me absolute joy. There are some days when, as soon as you've finished cook...
JULIA ROBERTS 'How' is a great thing to know. 'Why' is the ultimate. I'm the 'why' coa...
MIKE SINGLETARY Yeah, but if you're not doing what everyone else is doing then you're going to be misunderst...
KID CUDI As long as you're green, you're growing. As soon as you're ripe, you start to rot.
RAY KROC You play a part, and as soon as a movie is over and the camera stops, you go home and you're not...
NASTASSJA KINSKI Of course I've got lawyers. They are like nuclear weapons, I've got em 'cause everyone e...
DANNY DEVITO Go as far as you can see; when you get there, you'll be able to see farther.
J. P. MORGAN Go as far as you can see; when you get there you'll be able to see farther.
THOMAS CARLYLE It's extraordinary to think that if you walked into a room and said you had never heard of Hamle...
ROBERT WINSTON I can tell you that you will have your hearts broken more by the people you love than by the people ...
MARGARET PETERSON HADDIX You've done it in the simulator so many times, you don't have a real sense of being excited ...
ALAN SHEPARD You know, if it weren't for these fans, I wouldn't have gotten as far as I did.
ADAM LAMBERT As an actor, you've worked very hard, and you've been doing this for 20-some years, and Will...
DAVID A. R. WHITE As soon as you plow, you're releasing carbon.
MICHAEL POLLAN Sometimes you don't know why you're doing something. You're intuitively following, to se...
EDWARD BURTYNSKY Who cares what are you eating??
Who cares where are you?
Who cares what are you posting??<...
DEYTH BANGER Doing a musical is not just acting. It's total theater. When you have to justify the enormous pr...
DONNA MCKECHNIE As a comedian, I'm forced to have a tough skin. Until people laugh, they are detractors. You wal...
TREVOR NOAH Going into my second film as a director, it's night and day of what it was like going into my fi...
DEREK MAGYAR The mainstream media today has the biggest disconnect with its audience that it's ever, ever had...
RUSH LIMBAUGH I couldn't do that as attorney general. Why? Because they are my clients. You can't say they...
CHRISTINE GREGOIRE Originally, I thought, 'Gollum's such a fantastic character, why are you doing him CG? Surel...
ANDY SERKIS Women are builders of civil society. We are the ones who are going to build it. You know why? We hav...
FATEMA MERNISSI If you go down as a comedian's comedian, that's basically meaning other comedians are hopefu...
EDDIE IZZARD My dad never really played basketball, but now he's my biggest critic. I come home, and he says:...
DIRK NOWITZKI It's hard to go with a trend. As soon as it's out, everyone picks it up. It's important ...
ESTELLA WARREN As soon as you take money for playing sport, it isn't sport, it's work.
AVERY BRUNDAGE As far as expectations go, you can never work for expectations. You have to work against them.
KAJOL Don't accept that you are in crisis just because everyone says you are.
ALASTAIR CAMPBELL The motto of the Netherlands is translated into English as 'I will uphold.' But I want you t...
LORETTA LYNCH Honestly, I just think we all have special gifts, everyone. You know, obviously, some are more notic...
KELLY CLARKSON If you are saying the same thing as everyone else, then why would and why should anyone think you ar...
LOREN WEISMAN I always kind of aim with the action stuff to make it feel like, as an audience member, you're e...
JOEL EDGERTON As soon as someone like me or David Lynch pops up everyone says hallelujah, how weird.
ROBYN HITCHCOCK Under the greenwood tree,
Who loves to lie with me
And tune his merry note,
Unto the ...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE At first, when you go to premieres and award shows, you're thinking, 'How the hell am I here...
EMMA STONE They believed you can't mix rock, country, and rap, and that crossover is dead. I always knew it...
KID ROCK Make as much money as you can. It really does help. I don't know why it's terrible to say, b...
KAREN FINERMAN And it is very sexy as well: somebody says I'm taking you on a surprise date, you don't know...
EMILY WATSON I guess we all have that 'Dig Me' space, where we have some of our things displayed. Mine...
TOM GLAVINE As soon as you say 'Bunnymen,' I see a trench coat.
BRANDON FLOWERS We had, like, the greatest time you could ever imagine doing 'Arrested Development.' And as ...
JASON BATEMAN In the world of musical theatre, if everyone says it's a good idea, you wonder why nobody has do...
TIM RICE A lot of times people say, 'As soon as you relax you'll have a kid.'
COURTENEY COX You know, as long as you do everything in moderation, you don't go overboard, you don't, you...
SUZANNE SOMERS You should do what you enjoy doing, what brings you passion. As kids, we spontaneously sing and danc...
J. MICHAEL STRACZYNSKI As the TiVos and the Replays are coming into our world - and they're coming - it's better to...
LESLIE MOONVES But for everyone, I think, there is always a pressure to conform, and I guess as you get older you r...
FELICITY JONES You know how when you're alone with your cat, your cat is kind of silly and goofy and kind of cr...
MICHAELA WATKINS It's very nice having my mum as my agent. You know that she's always doing what's best f...
FREDDIE HIGHMORE In life, as in football, you won't go far unless you know where the goalposts are.
ARNOLD H. GLASOW When you like something and you're pretty good at it and you can make a living doing it, you don...
HARLAN COBEN If you're retired, it's a blessing. You know, if you want to keep working and doing what you...
PAT BENATAR I remember bringing some of my other friends to our table, and everyone at our table would look at t...
ZACK GREINKE How are we doing in the electronics field as opposed to, you know, we hear how advanced the Japanese...
JACK KILBY It's astonishing what you learn and feel and see along the way. That's why a reporter's ...
MIKE WALLACE You know when something feels so good but you're afraid to feel good about it? So you kinda hold...
VIN DIESEL You're sent scripts, and for some, as soon as you start reading them, you feel an instant connec...
OPHELIA LOVIBOND We're actually doing something scripted that's totally, you know, we kind of know what's...
JOSH HOLLOWAY There's a lot of stress out there, and to handle it, you just need to believe in yourself; alway...
MCKAYLA MARONEY I never lose confidence. As soon as you lose confidence, you're done.
VERNON WELLS A BMW can't take you as far as a diploma.
JOYCE MEYER Reach for it. Push yourself as far as you can.
CHRISTA MCAULIFFE Well, I think any time you delve into this sort of religion, politics, as you well know, you're ...
MEL GIBSON Everyone's pedigree merges into everyone else's pedigree. So if you go back far enough, ever...
STEVEN PINKER The maddening thing is as actors of either sex, we get better as we get older, and so when you are 6...
JOANNA LUMLEY It's nice to know about something as soon as it happens, and obviously a newspaper can't pro...
TABITHA SOREN It's true. In America, you can reinvent yourself at any turn. And, you know, if things aren'...
ADAM JOHNSON Boys have been wearing skirts for some time now. My three assistants wear mini skirts. They come to ...
ISSEY MIYAKE Concrete you can mold, you can press it into - after all, you haven't any straight lines in your...
PHILIP JOHNSON If you're going to self - publish, you need to know why you're doing it, what you want to ac...
VICTORIA STRAUSS There are approximately two trillion cells in the human body. You are never alone, there are always ...
DWIGHT W. HAYES Learning is finding out what you already know, Doing is demonstrating that you know it, Teaching is ...
RICHARD BACH When you're younger, it's all about conformity and being easily influenced - especially in t...
TIA MOWRY

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DAVE BARRY The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.
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DAVE EGGERS That's country music for you - bourbon and the Bible.
DAVE HAYWOOD So this is the space during tutoring hours. It's very busy. Same principles: one-on-one attentio...
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DAVE EGGERS The Left likes to think of itself as the bulwark of progressive liberal individualism, and yet it se...
DAVE BRAT Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
DAVE BARRY A standard sitcom... is a very standard idea, like these people falling in love and living with each...
DAVE FINKEL Standing out as a writer today requires more than a bright idea and limpid prose. Authors need to be...
DAVE MORRIS Empire Square production finishes in about a month's time, so at the moment, right now, I'm ...
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DAVE GROHL I played a homosexual bodyguard in 'The Last Detective,' and that was quite a pleasure to do...
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DAVE DEBRONKART Granted, a long book can be as daunting as a hard one. I nearly reached for 'Game of Thrones'...
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DAVE BARRY The waves of love roll throughout the Universe, and overflow in our hearts..
Everything is ONE!
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As I stand facing the beauty of the never-ending Pacific Ocean, a late afte...
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DAVE MATTHES ...you're either gonna spend your life fucking pussy, or taking it to church.
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DAVE BARRY I'd take a nerf bullet for you.
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DAVE BARRY It was not that Adam ate the apple for the apple's sake, but because it was forbidden. It would have...
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DAVE BARRY Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.
DAVE BARRY I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it.
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DAVE BARRY Books have a unique way of stopping time in a particular moment and saying: Let’s not forget this.
DAVE EGGERS Wake up naked drinking coffee
Making plans to change the world
While the world is changing...
DAVE MATTHEWS Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see wi...
DAVE BARRY Can you imagine the reaction of a British tabloid newspaper if they found a small school in rural En...
DAVE GORMAN We have advantages. We have a cushion to fall back on. This is abundance. A luxury of place and time...
DAVE EGGERS How could I have been anyone other than me?
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DAVE BARRY As a rule, software systems do not work well until they have been used, and have failed repeatedly, ...
DAVE PARNAS Don't get suckered in by the comments ... they can terribly be misleading.
DAVE STORER Giving half answers won't make the conversation half as long.
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DAVE BARRY Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated ...
DAVE BARRY Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.
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DAVE BARRY Although Golf was originally restricted to wealthy Protestants, today its open to anybody who owns h...
DAVE BARRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybo...
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DAVE BARRY The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.
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DAVE BARRY Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that h...
DAVE BARRY If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant's life, she will choose to sa...
DAVE BARRY And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to ta...
DAVE BARRY The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious pe...
DAVE BARRY Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.
DAVE BARRY New York Taxi Rules:1. Driver speaks no English.2. Driver just got here two days ago from someplace ...
DAVE BARRY Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organiza...
DAVE BARRY Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won...
DAVE BARRY Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
DAVE BARRY Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
DAVE BARRY Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
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DAVE BARRY If you can't excell with talent, triumph with effort.
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DAVE BARRY Our environmental problems originate in the hubris of imagining ourselves as the central nervous sys...
DAVE FOREMAN Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see wit...
DAVE BARRY We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but ...
DAVE BARRY We are not meant to know everything, Mae. Did you ever think that perhaps our minds are delicately c...
DAVE EGGERS You sit at a desk twelve hours a day and you have nothing to show for it except some numbers that wo...
DAVE EGGERS It’s not that I’m not social. I’m social enough. But the tools you guys create actually manufa...
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DAVE BARRY Life's real failure is when you do not realize how close you were to success when you gave up.
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DAVE MEURER Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should aris...
DAVE BARRY The future is no place to place your better days.
DAVE MATTHEWS Nothing can do what a book can do. Lifts you out of your life... to a whole new world, whole new per...
DAVE KELLETT I was trying to make the web more civil. I was trying to make it more elegant. I got rid of anonymit...
DAVE EGGERS Gang violence in America is not a sudden problem. It has been a part of urban life for years, offeri...
DAVE REICHERT It's all very boring to say that we get along great and all that and sometimes we mock up come a...
DAVE EDMUNDS To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.
DAVE BARRY American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, includi...
DAVE BARRY Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television witho...
DAVE BARRY In terms of personalities - I don't care about the personalities, I want leadership that's i...
DAVE BRAT I became a war hero before going on to critical acclaim as a professional victim.
DAVE PELZER Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
DAVE BARRY When you please others in hopes of being accepted, you lose you self-worth in the process.
DAVE PELZER Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who re...
DAVE BARRY I work 338 days a year, 16 hours a day.
DAVE PELZER At a family's most difficult time, I want to make sure at a minimum that they have the very basi...
DAVE REICHERT