If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old.

When you are in trouble, people who call to sympathize are really looking for the particulars.

A woman might as well propose: her husband will claim she did.

There is nothing so well known as that we should not expect something for nothing - but we all do and call it Hope.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

No man would listen to you talk if he did not know that it was his turn next.