Craig Ferguson quote: "If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability as we hold politicians or clergymen, I'm out. I'm gone."

Sometimes people think you’re smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else.
CRAIG FERGUSON

The Universe is very, very big.
It also loves a paradox. For example, it has some extremely str...
CRAIG FERGUSON

If a man doesn't know how to dance he doesn't know how to make love, there I said it!
CRAIG FERGUSON

I got sober. I stopped killing myself with alcohol. I began to think: 'Wait a minute - if I can ...
CRAIG FERGUSON

I try and live my life in bite-size chunks.
CRAIG FERGUSON

You better watch out.
You better not cry.
You better not pout,
I'm telling you why...
CRAIG FERGUSON

The Afghan government is as corrupt as a prostitute with a law degree.
CRAIG FERGUSON

I think sometimes that people think brave means not being afraid, which of course it doesn't mea...
CRAIG FERGUSON

Historically, when Americans don't know what to do next, they go to Paris. Benjamin Franklin is ...
CRAIG FERGUSON

I'm crazy. I know I'm crazy 'cause Desmond Tutu told me, and he's very clever. He sa...
CRAIG FERGUSON

I dropped out of high school when I was 16, after I had a huge argument with my English teacher over...
CRAIG FERGUSON

It's the beauty and curse of doing a daily show. Some days you've got nothing to talk about ...
CRAIG FERGUSON

When I went out on tour as Bing Hitler I would hook up with Lenny and we'd get drunk together. H...
CRAIG FERGUSON

They were singing, Gillette, the best a man can get, with a lot of guys hugging their fathers and sa...
CRAIG FERGUSON

If the Fed ceases hiking, against the backdrop of still rising commodity prices, then the Australian...
CRAIG FERGUSON

A friend of mine that I was in a band with started me on Kafka, which in turn led to Camus and Sartr...
CRAIG FERGUSON

I do a show. It comes on late at night on TV. And if that means I'm a late-night talk show host,...
CRAIG FERGUSON

Don't ever rope me in as a late-night talk show host. I don't want to be one.
CRAIG FERGUSON

It's very interesting to know what people are doing while you're working on late-night telev...
CRAIG FERGUSON

The Aussie got up towards the 76 US cents level and then up around those levels we did have quite a ...
CRAIG FERGUSON

I think in our desire to create a better America,we have to have civilized debate in this country an...
CRAIG FERGUSON

It's totally free. It is the complete freedom of performance, ... The first time (the monologue is) ...
CRAIG FERGUSON

I'm a terrible interviewer. I'm not a journalist - although I have a Peabody Award - and I&#...
CRAIG FERGUSON

I proved to my own satisfaction that I am madder than I think.
CRAIG FERGUSON

We wanted something different this year. We're still keeping the musicianship, as opposed to it bein...
CRAIG FERGUSON

Time is only linear for engineers and referees.
CRAIG FERGUSON

I'm not so much a dragon slayer, more a dragon annoyer -- I'm a dragon irritater.
CRAIG FERGUSON

When in doubt about who's to blame. Blame the English.
CRAIG FERGUSON

I freely admit I'm confused. I'm a confused and troubled individual but at the same time...Its Free!...
CRAIG FERGUSON

Alcohol ruined me financially and morally, broke my heart and the hearts of too many others. Even th...
CRAIG FERGUSON

Whether I or anyone else accepted the concept of alcoholism as a disease didn't matter; what mattere...
CRAIG FERGUSON

Anyone who's just driven 90 yards against huge men trying to kill them has earned the right to do Ja...
CRAIG FERGUSON

I love zombies. If any monster could Riverdance, it would be zombies.
CRAIG FERGUSON

Despite the lofty gains in the Australian dollar, commodity prices have meant it now looks undervalu...
CRAIG FERGUSON

If you're frightened of leprechauns, the best thing to do is to get yourself a little leprechaun out...
CRAIG FERGUSON

Be careful who you choose as your hero or who you choose to deify, be it Clay Aiken or Barack Obama....
CRAIG FERGUSON

I just do my thing and try each show to be more honest about why I am and who I am. It's quite t...
CRAIG FERGUSON

Everything I think of now is too rude to actually say.
CRAIG FERGUSON

Twas the night before Thanksgiving.
All the food's in the oven.
And I'm in the bedroom p...
CRAIG FERGUSON

The worst gift I was given is when I got out of rehab that Christmas; a bottle of wine. It was delic...
CRAIG FERGUSON

He was in awe of the thirst that people had for someone to tell them that everything was going to be...
CRAIG FERGUSON

Thanks cows. I appreciate your tastiness.
CRAIG FERGUSON

He will know from and early age that failure is not disgrace. It's just a pitch that you missed, and...
CRAIG FERGUSON

I don't just like sexual double entendres I love them, I stroke them, I milk them, I spank them when...
CRAIG FERGUSON

The prospect of an interest-rate-hike lifeline for the currency has become even more remote. The com...
CRAIG FERGUSON

[Sheen told the CBS] Late Late Show ... things are really good.
CRAIG FERGUSON

Oh Satan you're a wily one.
CRAIG FERGUSON

[LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) -] There's something I believe wholeheartedly: Cynicism is the tru...
CRAIG FERGUSON

Sophie thought about Frank’s cock sometimes, how famous it was. Not as famous as his voice, sure, ...
CRAIG FERGUSON

It turns out that speeding irresponsibly in a large truck, placing personal wealth ahead of the welf...
CRAIG FERGUSON

Hey dawg, wassup?" he said, in the strange way that white talent agents from Los Angeles do in an at...
CRAIG FERGUSON

The clocks understood, they kept moving, motion, following the truth that change is the nature of Go...
CRAIG FERGUSON

The truth is that Leon, like a lot of those-maybe everyone-who trips on acid, never really came back...
CRAIG FERGUSON

For example, in Paris, if one desires to buy something, you enter the store and say "Good morning, s...
CRAIG FERGUSON

It never occurred to them that God may have provided the world with a vast array of very brainy medi...
CRAIG FERGUSON

The Bible has been through at least half a dozen translations by the time you read it. Plus, when th...
CRAIG FERGUSON

If you can't trust, you can't be trustworthy.
CRAIG FERGUSON

Even the incorruptible are corruptible if they cannot accept the possibility of being mistaken.
CRAIG FERGUSON

This story is true. Of course, there are many lies therein and most of it did not happen, but it's a...
CRAIG FERGUSON

WHITE AMERICANS HAVE A VERY UNUSUAL SENSE OF HISTORY. They make it up as they go along, constantly r...
CRAIG FERGUSON

Fraser's mother, Janice, was actually quite a happy soul but she had to hide it because, like all ps...
CRAIG FERGUSON

Allowances can always be made for your friends to disagree with you. Disagreement, vehement disagree...
CRAIG FERGUSON

I think that clearly it has an influence, to be coming of age during the punk rock era, to come from...
CRAIG FERGUSON

Its hard to stay up. Its been a long long day
And you've got the sandman at your door.
Bu...
CRAIG FERGUSON

Gillette--The best a man can get."

I stared at the screen. What happened to me? I was mea...
CRAIG FERGUSON

I think holidays create so much pressure because people feel they should be having a good time. But ...
CRAIG FERGUSON

When you need to borrow money the Mob seems like a better deal I think. 'You don't pay me back I bre...
CRAIG FERGUSON

I don't think wood was discovered in Britain until the 1970's. That's when I discovered it anyway.
CRAIG FERGUSON

I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with y...
CRAIG FERGUSON

I came to America, and I made good. It's an old story, but it hasn't been told in a long tim...
CRAIG FERGUSON

Stand by your bed and salute me.
CRAIG FERGUSON

My job is to find the politicians and the presidents and the pompous people who are telling other pe...
CRAIG FERGUSON

I have a deep and profound mistrust of all politicians.
CRAIG FERGUSON

Friday's turmoil in global markets looks set to continue to exert a dominant force on the foreign ex...
CRAIG FERGUSON

The views expressed by Me are in no way endorsed by CBS any of its allied companies or in fact Me.
CRAIG FERGUSON

The wedding took place in Vermont, where they have legalized gay civil unions, and I married a woman...
CRAIG FERGUSON

Sometimes my pathology just spills out into the camera doesn't it?
CRAIG FERGUSON

I had lived in fear of the fabled terrifying visions that assail chronic drinkers, but which had not...
CRAIG FERGUSON

Those unexpected morality lessons provided by the trip had jolted me into some kind of action. It wa...
CRAIG FERGUSON

I found the prospect daunting, but somehow comforting, too, because the counselors insisted it could...
CRAIG FERGUSON

I knew that I had been partially right in the storeroom above the bar on Christmas Day.

...
CRAIG FERGUSON

With good parody, you have to be smarter that the people you’re parodying.
CRAIG FERGUSON

If I start giving people what they like I'll turn into one of them and I don't want to be one of the...
CRAIG FERGUSON

Its like a sort of internet Ren Fair. Its like Dungeons & Dragons but for cool people who have g...
CRAIG FERGUSON

If I have a near-beer, I’m near beer. And if I’m near beer, I’m close to tequila. And if I’m...
CRAIG FERGUSON

After all this time I found that the novel is in fact punk rock.
CRAIG FERGUSON

I do a public access show with puppets. Puppets called actors, TV and movie stars.
CRAIG FERGUSON

There's a commercial break coming and I'm very excited about it and you know why? Because that's wha...
CRAIG FERGUSON

Sometimes they would just pay me to stay home and not do anything else, which sounds fantastic but d...
CRAIG FERGUSON

Much of television has been homogenized in the desire to avoid annoying or upsetting people.
CRAIG FERGUSON

Look, there is nothing you can say about this show that I don't already know
CRAIG FERGUSON

At CBS, I’m in your house. I’m mindful of that. When I do standup, you’re in my home and I can...
CRAIG FERGUSON

You can never talk religion on network TV. It makes too many people angry. You can talk about sex.
CRAIG FERGUSON

I don't see my show as a stepping stone to something else like some people, who get a job then h...
CRAIG FERGUSON

That's one of the reasons why we think the U.S. dollar probably should strengthen going into the Fed...
CRAIG FERGUSON

If it doesn't work, at least it will be an interesting train wreck.
CRAIG FERGUSON

It's clearly yen positive, especially when China is gradually allowing the yuan to appreciate day by...
CRAIG FERGUSON

This job has explained to me who I am -- I'm not kidding, ... I always knew I was an actor, but kind...
CRAIG FERGUSON

That's why Credit card companies are evil. Are they sponsoring the show tonight? ... They are Evil.
CRAIG FERGUSON

It 's the time of year when Canadians mate.
CRAIG FERGUSON

You clap. The Censor wakes up. We all get into trouble.
CRAIG FERGUSON

I do love America. And LA is a very short commute to America its like half an hour on the plane.
CRAIG FERGUSON

I took the sleeper out of Glasgow, and as the smelly old train bumped out of Central Station and acr...
CRAIG FERGUSON

You know who they're blaming for global warming now? This is true. Fat people.
CRAIG FERGUSON

Jimmy put in a word and told them that if I made it, I wouldn't be able to live with myself without ...
CRAIG FERGUSON

I don’t think being a comedian gives you any fucking insight into what makes people laugh.
CRAIG FERGUSON

I think comedy as an art involves the audience as a participant as much as is involves the artist.
CRAIG FERGUSON

I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the suppo...
CRAIG FERGUSON

Divorce lawyers stoke anger and fear in their clients, knowing that as long as the conflicts remain ...
CRAIG FERGUSON

Canada is not the party. Its the apartment above the party.
CRAIG FERGUSON

A junkie will steal your purse, and then help you look for it.
CRAIG FERGUSON

I didn't say no because between safety and adventure I choose adventure.
CRAIG FERGUSON

Strange star-like object over Oslo right before Obama arrives. A gift of a golden medal given by a g...
CRAIG FERGUSON

Mental attitude and concentration are the keys to pitching.
FERGUSON JENKINS

Radical common sense is the wisdom gleaned from the past that recognizes the perishable opportunitie...
MARILYN FERGUSON

I love hats and winter is the perfect time for them. I love winter time fashion.
REBECCA FERGUSON

I can't imagine having a conversation about 'Celebrity Big Brother' in Cambridge, Massac...
NIALL FERGUSON

In England, it's a rare thing to see a player smoking but, all in all, I prefer that to an alcoh...
ALEX FERGUSON

Something that's seldom appreciated about me is that I am in sympathy with a great deal of what ...
NIALL FERGUSON

The British press has an insatiable appetite for making public things that should be private. It'...
NIALL FERGUSON

The artist finds, that the more he can confine his attention to a particular part of any work, his p...
ADAM FERGUSON

The history of mankind is confined within a limited period, and from every quarter brings an intimat...
ADAM FERGUSON

Like the winds that we come we know not whence and blow whither soever they list, the forces of soci...
ADAM FERGUSON

Man, in his animal capacity, is qualified to subsist in every climate.
ADAM FERGUSON

In every commercial state, notwithstanding any pretension to equal rights, the exaltation of a few m...
ADAM FERGUSON

Every step and every movement of the multitude, even in what are termed enlightened ages, are made w...
ADAM FERGUSON

The brain's calculations do not require our conscious effort, only our attention and our opennes...
MARILYN FERGUSON

You have to be really strong in the music industry, and I'm naturally very timid. That was reall...
REBECCA FERGUSON

The time I have already spent at Harvard has been a stimulating experience, and I look forward to de...
ALEX FERGUSON

We are going to see a burst of creativity that will make the Renaissance pale in comparison.
MARILYN FERGUSON

All of the charities we're involved with have touched me in one way or another on a personal lev...
FERGUSON JENKINS

I would love to see as many of the black players as possible in today's Major League Baseball ma...
FERGUSON JENKINS

Prior to my arrival at the Crowne Plaza in Indianapolis, my agent and I decided that it would be bes...
D'BRICKASHAW FERGUSON

The actual game is only part of the Senior Bowl experience - the practices are equally important.
D'BRICKASHAW FERGUSON

I sat in the green room at Radio City Music Hall for the 2006 NFL Draft. At my table, I was encircle...
D'BRICKASHAW FERGUSON

I wouldn't mind being like X-Men and having the claws. I mean, I don't think they'd let ...
D'BRICKASHAW FERGUSON

Everyone's struggle is different. Just because I wasn't struggling on the streets, it doesn&...
D'BRICKASHAW FERGUSON

When a 300-pound person like me is playing, I'm supposed to drink at least a gallon of water a d...
D'BRICKASHAW FERGUSON

When the season ends, I like to take a little time off from the diet I follow when I'm playing.
D'BRICKASHAW FERGUSON

As an offensive lineman, having spatial awareness is key: understanding where the quarterback is goi...
D'BRICKASHAW FERGUSON

You have to have a plan. This isn't wishing. Instead of always being in a hopeful situation - li...
D'BRICKASHAW FERGUSON

You rewind. You think of your preparation. You think of everything you did throughout the week, your...
D'BRICKASHAW FERGUSON

It's just a blessing from above. I can't stress that enough, because I don't feel like i...
D'BRICKASHAW FERGUSON

There's a number of years that went by going from a white belt to a black belt. And I think, in ...
D'BRICKASHAW FERGUSON

At the Jets training facility in Florham Park, N.J., we have strength and conditioning staff but als...
D'BRICKASHAW FERGUSON

Whenever there's negotiations, there's things that you absolutely love, and there's thin...
D'BRICKASHAW FERGUSON

You don't have to worry about what happened last year; you can start fresh.
D'BRICKASHAW FERGUSON

I received a call from Jets general manager Mike Tannenbaum and head coach Eric Mangini. They asked ...
D'BRICKASHAW FERGUSON

Being an offensive lineman, you always have the mindset of being an unsung hero - a lot of the peopl...
D'BRICKASHAW FERGUSON

Obviously it's more fun having my teammates there and having all that camaraderie, but individua...
D'BRICKASHAW FERGUSON

You're always facing the top defenders in this league. To go out there and do your best, that...
D'BRICKASHAW FERGUSON

I feel like sleep is the most important thing. I notice in my body, when I don't get enough slee...
D'BRICKASHAW FERGUSON

I just try to keep it simple, not let too many outside things influence me.
D'BRICKASHAW FERGUSON

I think, growing up, I was seen as the perfect power forward. For a long time, I thought maybe I was...
D'BRICKASHAW FERGUSON

I don't see myself as the perfect person at all.
D'BRICKASHAW FERGUSON

I try to work on all aspects of my game, whether it be run, pass. I think you can never stop growing...
D'BRICKASHAW FERGUSON

To overawe, or intimidate, or, when we cannot persuade with reason, to resist with fortitude, are th...
ADAM FERGUSON

It's all very well for us to sit here in the west with our high incomes and cushy lives, and say it'...
NIALL FERGUSON

The brain's calculations do not require our conscious effort, only our attention and our openness to...
MARILYN FERGUSON

Your past is not your potential. In any hour you can choose to liberate the future.
MARILYN FERGUSON

What can that faith do for him in his need?
It teaches him to bear adversity
With patience t...
ROBERT FERGUSON

Fear is a question: What are you afraid of, and why? Just as the seed of health is in illness, becau...
MARILYN FERGUSON

Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of fear is a freedom.
MARILYN FERGUSON

Over the years your bodies become walking autobiographies, telling friends and strangers alike of th...
MARILYN FERGUSON

Fear is a question: What are you afraid of, and why? Just as the seed of health is in illness, becau...
MARILYN FERGUSON

My fundamental tenets are concerned with freedom of the individual; the market isn't perfect, bu...
NIALL FERGUSON

Achievers have an enabling attitude, realism, and a conviction that they themselves were the laborat...
MARILYN FERGUSON

I'm going to tell you the story about the geese which fly 5,000 miles from Canada to France. The...
ALEX FERGUSON

America's doctors, nurses and medical researchers are the best in the world, but our health care...
MIKE FERGUSON

Public policy is designed by spin doctors who aim to keep our heads below the water. The public good...
MARILYN FERGUSON

What would you have if you didn't have a murder in a mystery? You'd have something for the l...
ALANE FERGUSON

As a kid, there are some things you looked forward to. You looked forward to Charlie Brown during Ha...
NICK FERGUSON

Looking into the spirit of others is sometimes like looking into a pond. Though we aim to see what's...
KATINA FERGUSON

You can break through old limits, past inertia and fear, to... richness of choice, freedom, human cl...
MARILYN FERGUSON

The CFMEU will also respect the outcome of the ballot and continue to extend goodwill to the club.
ANDREW FERGUSON

The rank and file members of the club have the capacity to determine whether the proposal has merit ...
ANDREW FERGUSON

The CFMEU was shocked when we were advised that JB Metal Roofing were continuing to operate in breac...
ANDREW FERGUSON

We believe Green Cove Springs provides Stock with the advantages to serve a larger market area in No...
ANDREW FERGUSON

I know they're upsetting a good part of the Toronto city council and I know they're upsetting the ma...
ANDREW FERGUSON

I believe it made a greater impact on them as they realized that these people had truly lost everyth...
ANDREW FERGUSON

the Republican takeover - which is to say, political success - dealt the mortal blow. Conservative i...
ANDREW FERGUSON

[t]he Republican takeover -- which is to say, political success -- dealt the mortal blow. Conservati...
ANDREW FERGUSON

Conservative activists came to Washington to do good and stayed to do well. The grease rubbed off, t...
ANDREW FERGUSON

Pope John Paul II not only was a powerful spiritual leader for Catholics but also a world leader of ...
MIKE FERGUSON

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I...
SARAH FERGUSON

The gaffer has brought in some new players and some do not yet speak English,
BARRY FERGUSON

He shows a young spirit. He's not just focused on right now, he's trying to focus on our future. And...
BARRY FERGUSON

If that's their chat then it's sour grapes and they are simply searching for excuses,
BARRY FERGUSON

You are definitely seeing signs under Walter that we are playing better as a team and with a formati...
BARRY FERGUSON

The second goal was a great example for any young person who wants to get to the top. That was a fan...
ALEX FERGUSON

Hopefully now we've put that controversy to bed, just as Rio Ferdinand no longer has to run the gaun...
ALEX FERGUSON

I feel that other issues have been laid to rest, not in a grudging way, but in the spirit I urged, a...
ALEX FERGUSON

Go and make your mistakes in the first team. You'll learn more in a month in the first team than you...
ALEX FERGUSON

The lads ran their socks into the ground.
ALEX FERGUSON

Everybody hopes they'll drop points. Ourselves, Arsenal and Liverpool are all in the same boat where...
ALEX FERGUSON

I think the performance in the first half was excellent. We created so much space, the movement and ...
ALEX FERGUSON

It was more rash than vicious. He didn't touch the player, in fact he didn't get anywhere near him, ...
ALEX FERGUSON

Gaby doesn't want to be ruled out at the moment but I do not see him playing. Gary is a concern beca...
ALEX FERGUSON

Maybe there's the big game factor,
ALEX FERGUSON

I yelled that I couldn't get back I just couldn't.
BILL FERGUSON

If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability as we hold politicians or clergymen, I'm out. I'm gone.

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Craig Ferguson

If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability as we hold politicians or clergymen, I'm out. I'm gone.

Craig Ferguson

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