If there is one thing that will make a man peculiarly and insufferable self-conceited, it is to have his stomach behave itself, the first day at sea, when nearly all his comrades are seasick
Mark Twain
Related What would Jesus do? One thing is obvious, if there is one thing Jesus would NOT do - is to behave l... CHRISTINA ENGELA When a man sleepes, his head is in his stomach. GEORGE HERBERT All what we hope for is that a day will come, when we have all gone, when people will say that this ... HUSSEIN OF JORDAN If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mi... P.G. WODEHOUSE If you want to meet Mark Twain, all you have to do is use your brain! STEVE RAY COLLINS There is no thing known as bad luck. There is luck, or no luck at all. JEFFREY FRY There is only one thing that a man really wants to do, all his life; and that is, to find his way to... D. H. LAWRENCE [If a man] postpone[s] any open acknowledgement... that his own faith is in direct opposition to the... C.S. LEWIS Self-deception is so far from impossible that it is one of the most ordinary phenomena with which we... WILLIAM GODWIN The first thing a man will do for his ideals is lie. J.A. SCHUMPETER The first thing a man will do for his ideals is lie. JOSEPH SCHUMPETER I believe that there is a Matrix and... to be more accurate I am in the Pornography Matrix. DEYTH BANGER The snow itself is lonely or, if you prefer, self-sufficient. There is no other time when the whole ... JOSEPH WOOD KRUTCH It is what it is, it is what you make it. JAMES DURBIN When living is too sweet and swanky, it may be very hard to appreciate the simplest things in life. ... ERIK PEVERNAGIE It is a lie. ARTHUR MILLER I believe that any man's life will be filled with constant and unexpected encouragement, if he makes... BOOKER T. WASHINGTON I believe that any man's life will be filled with constant and unexpected encouragement, if he makes... BOOKER T WASHINGTON I believe that any man's life will be filled with constant and unexpected encouragement, if he makes... BOOKER WASHINGTON Why prove to a man he is wrong? Is that going to make him like you? Why not let him save face? He di... DALE CARNEGIE If you can control a man's thinking, you do not have to worry about his actions. When you determine ... GEORGE G. WOODSON One of the reasons it has seemed so difficult for a person to change his habits, his personality, or... MAXWELL MALTZ Weariness.Nothing is so insufferable to man as to be completely at rest, without passions, without b... BLAISE PASCAL Man,His world & His dreams;Place man at the right spot & all his dreams will rightly make sense. DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) A man vows, and yet will not east away the means of breaking his vow. Is it that he distinctly means... GEORGE ELIOT When I die it will be game over,... but I know one life is short, to be selfish is not the best deci... DEYTH BANGER ...It is a proud privilege to be a soldier – a good soldier … [with] discipline, self-respect, p... GEORGE S. PATTON JR. To stand on the brink of what is coming, feeling eager, optimistic anticipation—with no feeli... ASK AND IT IS GIVEN Above it stood the seraphims: each one had six wings; with twain he covered his face, and with twain... BIBLE It is nearly impossible to make a psycho attached to you. Once you are successfully his attachment, ... AWSAAF ALI Style! style! why, all writers will tell you that it is the very
thing which can least of all be c... ISAAC D'ISRAELI Mark Twain said, 'The right word is to the nearly right word as lightning is to the lightning bu... ROBERT LITTELL How can you tell when the devil is lying? His lips are moving. CRAIG GROESCHEL If you can control a mans thinking, you dont have to worry about his actions. If you can determi... CARTER G. WOODSON I have no religion, and at times I wish all religions at the bottom of the sea. He is a weak ruler w... MUSTAFA KEMAL ATATURK The most durable thing in writing is style, and style is the most valuable investment a writer can m... RAYMOND CHANDLER The less justified a man is in claiming excellence for his own self, the more ready he is to claim a... ERIC HOFFER The poor man must walk to get meat for his stomach, the rich man to get a stomach to his meat BENJAMIN FRANKLIN The guy with the biggest stomach will be the first to take off his shirt at a baseball game. GLENN DICKEY The first thing naturally when one enters a scholar's study or
library, is to look at his books. O... OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES, SR. If a man thinks he is not conceited, he is very conceited indeed. C.S. LEWIS He that knows nothing of it, may by chance be a Prophet; while the wisest that is may happen to miss... BENJAMIN FRANKLIN There, comrades, is the answer to all our problems. It is summed up in a single word-- Man GEORGE ORWELL One mark of a great soldier is that he fight on his own terms or fights not at all. SUN TZU One rule that will work if it is used everywhere, is that when you have a free-kick, the referee put... CRISTIANO RONALDO If you can control a man’s thinking, you don’t have to worry about his actions. If you can deter... CARTER G. WOODSON If you can control a mans thinking, you dont have to worry about his actions. If you can determine w... CARTER WOODSON Faith belongs to the human spirit. Faith is faith. Humanity is divided by religion, religion is the ... C. JOYBELL C. Every morning the first thing I do is serve my husband a bowl full of praises. More then his stomach... MEGHA KHARE Dreadful will be the day when the world becomes contented, when one great universal satisfaction spr... PHILLIPS BROOKS The curse of man, and the cause of nearly all his woe, is his stupendous capacity for believing the ... H. L. MENCKEN We have what we seek. It is there all the time, and if we give it time it will make itself known to ... THOMAS MERTON We have what we seek, it is there all the time, and if we give it time, it will make itself known to... THOMAS MERTON There is but one cause of human failure. And that is man's lack of faith in his true Self. WILLIAM JAMES God does not lead all His servants by one road, nor in one way, nor at one time; for God is in all t... JOHN TAULER They talk of a man betraying his country, his friends, his sweetheart. There must be a moral bond fi... JOSEPH CONRAD It's a very inhumane way to behave. If they stayed at the scene, first aid could have been given. Ma... GARY SINGH If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend. Therein is... ABRAHAM LINCOLN Generally speaking, all true children's stories make promises to their readers. Here you are, they s... JOHN GOLDTHWAITE When a man’s trust is violated, he will leave even his friend. Hey, you shouldn’t leave him! The... DADA BHAGWAN All things pass in time. We are far less significant than we imagine ourselves to be. All that we ar... JIM BUTCHER Man's first expression, like his first dream, was an aesthetic one. Speech was a poetic outcry rathe... BARNETT NEWMAN There can be no failure to a man who has not lost his courage, his character, his self respect, or h... ORISON SWETT MARDEN He [Cato] used to say that in all his life he never repented but
of three things. The first was th... PLUTARCH All religious and spiritual practices lead to one deep realisation: We Are One. All is One. ANITA B. SULSER Now, blessings light on him that first invented this same sleep!
it covers a man all over, thought... CERVANTES (MIGUEL DE CERVANTES SAAVEDRA) Look, look,' cried the count, seizing the young man's hands - "look, for on my soul it is curious. H... ALEXANDRE DUMAS It is peculiarly a fool's habit to discern the faults of others,
and to forget his own. UNKNOWN He that hangs himself is a virgin: virginity murders itself, and should be buried in highways, out o... WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Poverty is a wonderful thing. It sticks to a man after all his friends have forsaken him. PROVERB Without self-respect there can be no genuine success. Success won at the cost of self-respect is not... B. C. FORBES Without self-respect there can be no genuine success. Success won at the cost of self-respect is not... B. C. FORBES It is anomalous to hold that in order to convict a man the police cannot extract by force what is in... FELIX FRANKFURTER There is a brief moment when all there is in a man's mind and soul and spirit is reflected throu... YOUSUF KARSH At birth man is offered only one choice --the choice of his death. But if this choice is governed by... JEAN-PIERRE MELVILLE Self-observation brings man to the realization of the necessity of self-change. And in observing him... GEORGE GURDJIEFF The vanity of intelligence is that the intelligent man is often more committed to 'one-upping' his o... CRISS JAMI Every man should know that his conversations, his correspondence, and his personal life are private.... LYNDON B. JOHNSON That low man seeks a little thing to do,
Sees it and does it;
This high man, with a great thin... ROBERT BROWNING A man cannot speak but he judges himself. With his will or against his will he draws his portrait t... RALPH WALDO EMERSON If I am fool, it is, at least, a doubting one; and I envy no one the certainty of his self-approved ... LORD (GEORGE GORDON) BYRON If I am fool, it is, at least, a doubting one; and I envy no one the certainty of his self-approved... GEORGE GORDON BYRON If I am fool, it is, at least, a doubting one; and I envy no one the certainty of his self-approved ... LORD BYRON My understanding is they're focusing on everyone who was in the building that day. And if someone ha... DOUGLAS RAPPAPORT When you find that you are on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect." Mark Twain STEVE J. LEATHERWOOD A man is at his youngest when he thinks he is a man, not yet realizing that his actions must show it... MARY RENAULT I believe that a man is converted when first he hears the low, vast murmur of life, of human life, t... D. H. (DAVID HERBERT) LAWRENCE I believe that a man is converted when first he hears the low, vast murmur of life, of human life, t... D. H. LAWRENCE Night, the beloved. Night, when words fade and things come alive. When the destructive analysis of d... ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPERY Night, the beloved. Night, when words fade and things come alive. When the destructive analysis of d... ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPéRY How could there be any question of acquiring or possessing, when the one thing needful for a man is ... ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPERY How could there be any question of acquiring or possessing, when the one thing needful for a man is ... ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPERY You go over to our diamond case and there are hundreds of rings in there. The poor guy is absolutely... ELIZABETH JONES And ask each passenger to tell his story, and if there is one of them all who has not cursed his exi... VOLTAIRE Integrity is not everything, but it is the only thing that matters. JEFFREY FRY The one thing we know about the future is that it comes only one day at a time. JEFF RICH Every day is the first day of business, ... If you don't behave like that, you're in trouble. CAROL BOOTH Mark Twain put it best when he said, 'Reports of my demise are greatly exaggerated, BILL BRADLEY Mark Twain and I are in the same position. We have put things in such a way as to make people, who w... GEORGE BERNARD SHAW If you try to avoid or remove the awkward quality, it will pursue you. The only effective way to sti... JOHN O'DONOHUE
More Mark Twain
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. MARK TWAIN My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water. MARK TWAIN Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others. MARK TWAIN It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure tha... MARK TWAIN The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession. MARK TWAIN India has 2,000,000 gods and worships them all. In religion, all other countries are paupers; India ... MARK TWAIN Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own. MARK TWAIN I never let schooling interfere with my education. MARK TWAIN Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. MARK TWAIN Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities. MARK TWAIN The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed rig... MARK TWAIN There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. MARK TWAIN In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours. MARK TWAIN Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here firs... MARK TWAIN But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one... MARK TWAIN The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it. MARK TWAIN The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. MARK TWAIN Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of ti... MARK TWAIN It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. MARK TWAIN The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become. MARK TWAIN The lack of money is the root of all evil. MARK TWAIN Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. MARK TWAIN Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled. MARK TWAIN Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. MARK TWAIN Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired. MARK TWAIN Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul. MARK TWAIN There are lies, damned lies and statistics. MARK TWAIN Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable. MARK TWAIN Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside... MARK TWAIN Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. MARK TWAIN The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice. MARK TWAIN Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. MARK TWAIN I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping. MARK TWAIN The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause. MARK TWAIN All generalizations are false, including this one. MARK TWAIN 'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read. MARK TWAIN The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a ba... MARK TWAIN The secret of getting ahead is getting started. MARK TWAIN Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. MARK TWAIN I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places. MARK TWAIN Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. MARK TWAIN If I owned half of that dog, I would shoot my half. MARK TWAIN What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed ... MARK TWAIN When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. B... MARK TWAIN When you have prayed for victory you have prayed for many unmentioned results which follow victorymu... MARK TWAIN The teacher reminded us that Romes liberties were not auctioned off in a day, but were bought slowly... MARK TWAIN By his father he is English, by his mother he is Americanto my mind the blend which makes the perfec... MARK TWAIN So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldnt find honest employment. MARK TWAIN The people of those foreign countries are very, very ignorant. They looked curiously at the costumes... MARK TWAIN We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in itand stop there; lest w... MARK TWAIN The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large mattertis the diff... MARK TWAIN Say the report is exaggerated. MARK TWAIN A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will ... MARK TWAIN To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature Congressman. MARK TWAIN I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than ... MARK TWAIN A myriad of men are born; they labor and sweat and struggle; ...they squabble and scold and fight; t... MARK TWAIN Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the st... MARK TWAIN Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred mi... MARK TWAIN Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to... MARK TWAIN We never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead -- and not then ... MARK TWAIN Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. MARK TWAIN All say, How hard it is that we have to die -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people... MARK TWAIN Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find... MARK TWAIN Write without pay until somebody offers to pay you. If nobody offers within three years, sawing wood... MARK TWAIN As to the adjective, when in doubt strike it out. MARK TWAIN I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshol... MARK TWAIN Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than... MARK TWAIN The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without burst... MARK TWAIN When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old. MARK TWAIN All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure. MARK TWAIN The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do wh... MARK TWAIN To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand ... MARK TWAIN Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person. MARK TWAIN It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal... MARK TWAIN Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired MARK TWAIN It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help. MARK TWAIN Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to. MARK TWAIN Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting... MARK TWAIN To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do. MARK TWAIN Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known and I know the rest. MARK TWAIN The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itse... MARK TWAIN Stars are good too. I wish I could get some to put in my hair. But I suppose I never can. You would ... MARK TWAIN There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry. MARK TWAIN The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things tha... MARK TWAIN Optimist: Day-dreamer more elegantly spelled MARK TWAIN Necessity is the mother of "taking chances" MARK TWAIN Distance lends enchantment to the view MARK TWAIN Be good and you will be lonesome. MARK TWAIN Chastity - you can carry it too far MARK TWAIN To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler--and less trouble. MARK TWAIN Most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in it... MARK TWAIN Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. MARK TWAIN When you cannot get a compliment in any other way pay yourself one. MARK TWAIN There is nothing you can say in answer to a compliment. I have been complimented myself a great many... MARK TWAIN Never learn to do anything. If you don't learn, you will always find someone else to do it for you. MARK TWAIN I can't do literary work for the rest of this year because I'm meditating another lawsuit and lookin... MARK TWAIN Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would... MARK TWAIN Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relati... MARK TWAIN Wit and Humor -- if any difference, it is in duration -- lightning and electric light. Same material... MARK TWAIN Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of Humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no... MARK TWAIN There is a great deal of human nature in people. MARK TWAIN If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance. MARK TWAIN There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce. MARK TWAIN The human race was always interesting and we know by its past that it will always continue so, monot... MARK TWAIN Man is a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired. MARK TWAIN Such is the human race. Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat... MARK TWAIN It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts th... MARK TWAIN Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement,... MARK TWAIN Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money of t... MARK TWAIN Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it. MARK TWAIN Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind. MARK TWAIN We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks, if we agree with him. MARK TWAIN O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover th... MARK TWAIN A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be lead by the nose. MARK TWAIN Happiness ain't a thing in itself --it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so,... MARK TWAIN There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one: keep from telling their happiness to... MARK TWAIN I repeat, sir, that in whatever position you place a woman she is an ornament to society and a treas... MARK TWAIN Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. The conviction of the rich... MARK TWAIN Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide i... MARK TWAIN Let us be grateful to Adam, our benefactor. He cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us... MARK TWAIN Intellectual work is misnamed; it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward. MARK TWAIN Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions. MARK TWAIN I do not like work even when someone else does it. MARK TWAIN Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, and play consists of whatever a body is not oblig... MARK TWAIN Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth. MARK TWAIN Truth is neither alive nor dead; it just aggravates itself all the time. MARK TWAIN No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies. MARK TWAIN We had the sky up there, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss whether th... MARK TWAIN Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True ... MARK TWAIN When you ascend the hill of prosperity, may you not meet a friend. MARK TWAIN Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know. MARK TWAIN Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. MARK TWAIN We need not worry so much about what man descends from; it's what he descends to that shames the hum... MARK TWAIN There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends. MARK TWAIN I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- except he... MARK TWAIN There was never a century nor a country that was short of experts who knew the Deity's mind and were... MARK TWAIN People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases. MARK TWAIN My books are water; those of the great geniuses are wine -- everybody drinks water. MARK TWAIN A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razor strap. A thin book is useful to stick under a table ... MARK TWAIN When the doctrine of allegiance to party can utterly up-end a man's moral constitution and make a te... MARK TWAIN In statesmanship get the formalities right, never mind about the moralities. MARK TWAIN Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can. MARK TWAIN The lack of money is the root of all evils. MARK TWAIN His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine. MARK TWAIN Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: The one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures... MARK TWAIN All schools, all colleges, have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal, valuable knowledge. ... MARK TWAIN Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. Traini... MARK TWAIN We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only m... MARK TWAIN There are many scapegoats for our sins, but the most popular is providence. MARK TWAIN It is by the goodness of God that we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech... MARK TWAIN There isn't a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American. MARK TWAIN War talk by men who have been in a war is always interesting; whereas moon talk by a poet who has no... MARK TWAIN There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhe... MARK TWAIN To arrive at a just estimate of a renowned man's character one must judge it by the standards of his... MARK TWAIN One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. MARK TWAIN A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught. MARK TWAIN A lie can run around the world six times while the truth is still trying to put on its pants. MARK TWAIN I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, b... MARK TWAIN The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all. MARK TWAIN A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversati... MARK TWAIN Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expe... MARK TWAIN Satan hasn't a single salaried helper; the Opposition employ a million. MARK TWAIN It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare. MARK TWAIN Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear. Except a creature be part cowar... MARK TWAIN Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself MARK TWAIN When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man aro... MARK TWAIN Faith is believing what you know ain't so. MARK TWAIN It was the schoolboy who said, Faith is believing what you know ain't so. MARK TWAIN Never let formal education get in the way of your learning. MARK TWAIN There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it ... MARK TWAIN I've never let my school interfere with my education. MARK TWAIN In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in al... MARK TWAIN Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect). MARK TWAIN If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal di... MARK TWAIN A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was getting knowledge that was always going... MARK TWAIN Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiment... MARK TWAIN Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the ca... MARK TWAIN If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the r... MARK TWAIN The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a... MARK TWAIN Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its... MARK TWAIN The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. MARK TWAIN Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the reall... MARK TWAIN If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed. MARK TWAIN ′Classic′ - a book which people praise and don't read. MARK TWAIN Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination. MARK TWAIN I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. MARK TWAIN The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read. MARK TWAIN Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Trut... MARK TWAIN Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it. MARK TWAIN A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. MARK TWAIN All right, then, I'll go to hell. MARK TWAIN The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's. MARK TWAIN Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. MARK TWAIN If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian. MARK TWAIN To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with. MARK TWAIN Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it ... MARK TWAIN Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. MARK TWAIN Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty. MARK TWAIN Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. MARK TWAIN I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know. MARK TWAIN