I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.

When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat

I would rather go to bed with Lillian Russell stark naked than Ulysses S. Grant in full military regalia.

I like flowers, I also like children, but I do not chop their heads and keep them in bowls of water around the house.

It is the difference of opinion that makes horse races.

You can go to heaven if you want. I'd rather stay in Bermuda.