If only we could get Muslims to boycott all airlines, we could dispense with airport security altogether.

First step: Build the wall. Second step: Let ICE do its job. Third step: Stop importing jihadists and welfare recipients. Fourth step: enforce e-verify to protect American jobs. Fifth step: prosecute social security card/ID theft/voting fraud.

I get a little belligerent when not enough protesters show up at my appearances.

Half-brights consider it comedy gold to congratulate anyone they dislike for 'winning the Kentucky Derby!' The only thing more bracingly original to not-smart people is: 'Stay classy!'

Liberals are stalwart defenders of civil liberties - provided we're only talking about criminals.

I might be in favor of national healthcare if it required all Democrats to get their heads examined.