If it bends, it's funny; if it breaks, it's not funny.

When a politician bends the truth or a CEO breaks a promise, trust takes a beating.

My mom always said that if the Protestants catch a Catholic in their church, they feed them to the Jews.

If somebody on this team actually gets to first base, I'll stand there naked.

A laugh is a terrible weapon.

Hmmm... I never get the answer I think I'm going to get.