A laugh is a terrible weapon.

If you can laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall, people willthink you're drunk.

My mom always said that if the Protestants catch a Catholic in their church, they feed them to the Jews.

If somebody on this team actually gets to first base, I'll stand there naked.

Hmmm... I never get the answer I think I'm going to get.

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.