If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now.

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting.

Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.