If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Well, her face was so wrinkled it looked like seven miles of bad road. She had so many gold teeth . . . she used to have to sleep with her head in a safe.