IF YOU'RE FAT AND YOU KNOW IT SLAP YOUR HANDS - Bruce Banter

IF YOU CAN'T GO TO THE POOL AT SOHO HOUSE BECAUSE YOU KNOW TOO MANY PEOPLE THERE THAT HAVE NEVER MET YOUR STOMACH, YOU WOULDN'T SLEEP WITH YOU EITHER - Bruce Banter

IF THE ONLY SPOONING IN YOUR BEDROOM IS THE DISCARDED EATING UTENSIL IN THE HOLLOW TUB OF HAAGEN-DAZS, YOU WOULDN'T SLEEP WITH YOU EITHER - Bruce Banter

IN YOUR LIFE, YOUR BODY GIVES, AND GIVES, AND GIVES. AND THEN IT SITS DOWN ON ITS ASS AND IT'S YOUR TURN TO DRIVE - Bruce Banter

No one wakes up in the morning and says, 'I want to gain 150 pounds and I will start right now!

If it tastes good, spit it out.