I've been told to speed up my delivery when I perform. But if I lose the stammer, I'm just another slightly amusing accountant.

I was never a Certified Public Accountant... I just had a degree in accounting. The reason I was never a Certified Public Accountant was because it would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do.

I have an aversion to laugh tracks - the moment I hear a laugh track, I go to another channel.

I just don't think most people put myself and Robert Frost in the same category.

I really don't know what makes a comedian. I think it's a family background and environment. Yet if you put the same ingredients in another person, he may never utter a funny line.

I don't know how doctors pick one specialty over another. Some you can understand. Pediatricians. Or gynecologists delivering babies, bringing a new life into the world, but how does someone want to be a proctologist? How can you fall in love with proctology?