I've been hot, I've been lukewarm, I've been freezing, but I've always been a headliner.

You can start out hot, you can start out lukewarm or you can start out cold. If you're a good team, it will show up in the end. And we are a good team. Baseball is played the way it's played - you can't just make something happen.

My wife is great. She always goes to the bank to see if the check has cleared.

No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you.

They always use the word 'insult' with me, but I don't hurt anybody. I wouldn't be sitting here if I did. I make fun of everybody and exaggerate all our insecurities.

Every night when I go out on stage, there's always one nagging fear in the back of my mind. I'm always afraid that somewhere out there, there is one person in the audience that I'm not going to offend!