I'm dyslexic, I have attention-deficit disorder, and I've got something like a hereditary tremor.

I'm a very simple man. You've got to have, like, a computer nowadays to turn the TV on and off... and the nightmare continues.

To be a liar, you've got to have a great memory, and I don't have a memory.

I got rabies shots for biting the head off a bat but that's OK - the bat had to get Ozzy shots.

I couldn't be a royal. It's like living in a supersonic goldfish bowl.

Being sober on a bus is, like, totally different than being drunk on a bus.