I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!"

Too bad drinking scotch isn't a paying job or Kenny's dad would be a millionare!

Mom, can I have some pie?

Screw you guys, I'm going home

Why does this happen every month? It seems like right about the same time every month, Kyle's mom gets a hair up her ass about something, and I always end up getting screwed by it.

Kenny's family is so poor that yesterday, they had to put their cardboard box up for a second mortgage.