I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can't stay in the same place. People think you're a loser.

I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.

I have always loved Las Vegas. It's a traditional place for lounge comics to perform, and I love that.

Compared to politics, I think sports is funnier, because it's inconsequential. And politics can be real important and all that. The more pointless something is, the funnier it is, you know?

All my life's about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn't cost very much money.

It's a very odd thing with Hollywood, where you do stand-up, you're good at it, then they go, 'How would you like to be a horrible actor?' Then you say, 'All right, that sounds good. I'll do that.'