I was Santa Claus in first year of primary school, our elementary's school play, because I had most panache, that was probably why. I was 5.

He had a broad face and a little round belly, That shook, when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly.

You know, in a way, 'Dear Santa Claus' is rather stuffy... Perhaps something a little more intimate would be better... Something just a shade more friendly..."
"How about 'Dear Fatty'?

Santa is like a queen bee. All the elves are his drones, who exist to feed him royal jelly, which I guess would be milk and cookies. If an elf escapes and eats royal cookies, it will turn into another Santa. That’s what all those mall Santas are. They’re trying to start their own festive colonies.

I believed in Santa Claus until I was 12!

In primary school, I was bored witless by Australian history.