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Santa is like a queen bee. All the elves are his drones, who exist to feed him royal jelly, which I guess would be milk and cookies. If an elf escapes and eats royal cookies, it will turn into another Santa. That’s what all those mall Santas are. They’re trying to start their own festive colonies.


Thomm Quackenbush

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PAUL HENDERSON I'll feed them milk and cookies.
BRENT SUTTER Think what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk about three o...
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SHANE J VAN DER VELDE Think what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk about three o...
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RALPH WALDO EMERSON Think what a better world it would be if we all-the whole world-had cookies and milk about three o'c...
ROBERT FULGHUM We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a...
ANDY ROONEY My children are not royal; they just happen to have the Queen for their aunt.
PRINCESS MARGARET He who is loyal to his wife lives own life like a true royal and intelligent, but she loves to rule ...
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JOHNNY IUZZINI You have heard about the reindeer that pull old Santa's sled.
But mostly I hate Rudolph and wi...
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MEGAN DERR The real Santa Claus is at the mall.
LEMONY SNICKET If you really think there's a Santa, why don't you sit on the front steps all night in the freezing ...
LEWIS BLACK The hero is not fed on sweets, Daily his own heart he eats; Chambers of the great are jails, And hea...
RALPH WALDO EMERSON If a queen bee were crossed with a Friesian bull, would not the land flow with milk and honey?
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"We'r...
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SANDRA LEE Texas, to be respected, must be polite. Santa Anna, living, can be of incalculable benefit to Texas;...
SAM HOUSTON Texas, to be respected must be polite. Santa Anna living, can be of incalculable benefit to Texas; S...
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HIROSHI SAKURAZAKA As an opener, I'd like to state that elves are certainly NOT cliché. It doesn't matter if they all ...
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BRENT M. JONES I was definitely one of those people who fell for the fat-free cookies and chips that are loaded wit...
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DEBBIE FIELDS I use nothing but the best ingredients. My cookies are always baked fresh. I price cookies so that y...
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BOB PHILLIPS It will all be in vain, to try and look at the world through a small window and hope to comprehend i...
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JIM MORRISON They would often pull on his beard and say he must be the real Santa Claus,
VAN ORDEN

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