I was able to retire at age 48 because I sang in a church choir. It was there that I learned the importance of convincing others that their interests and mine were the same.

The females you'll find warming church pews on Sunday morning will give you a better ride than you can get by going to a bar or whorehouse, and they're clean and don't smell like an ashtray.

The Catholic Church, as all churches, is exactly like General Motors. Instead of making and selling cars, the Catholic Church, makes saints and sells forgiveness.

I don’t watch sporting events since the winners are predetermined in far more of these events than people want to know. Guessing which contest isn't rigged is like trying to guess which priest isn't a pedophile.

Those who advocate secularism and honestly want separation of church and state can't fully appreciate Christopher Hitchens now, but their cause will be without the very best friend it'll ever know after he's gone. It'll truly be a day for mourning.

I find it comical that people who live from paycheck to paycheck laugh at me when I mention an angel named Zabar, my guardian angel. I find it absolutely amazing that a person can say their life is boring and that they're unhappy. Then make fun of my beliefs when I have lived a charmed life for almost 70 years and cannot remember wanting or needing anything in vain.