The females you'll find warming church pews on Sunday morning will give you a better ride than you can get by going to a bar or whorehouse, and they're clean and don't smell like an ashtray.

The Catholic Church, as all churches, is exactly like General Motors. Instead of making and selling cars, the Catholic Church, makes saints and sells forgiveness.

Even though the media has dubbed me America's most controversial writer, occasionally my words find an open mind and I end up with a new friend, and at least on that day, I win.

I have no problem with killing humans for money and for fun, but I do so in my name, not God's. I do so for me, not so-called Christian countries like the U.S. and U.K. that's overflowing with stinking cowards who preach peace on earth while dining on the kill.

Homo sapiens! Yuck! You contemporary fools laugh at religious and political lies spewed by sociopaths, lies that tether you forever to poverty and mediocrity. Yet, when your ears come upon the truth, the facts of life, you hide your faces and cry, not able to look at your own creations and destiny. You rush off to what isn't instead of what is. I'm glad I haven't yet evolved and embrace your ways. Signed, Homo Erectus.

A lot of these Jesus women are neglected. They're red hot, and God bless them, they're some of the kinkiest beavers on the planet.