I started saying things in church that didn't meet with a lot of approval - like 'Jesus isn't coming back.' They started throwing Bibles.

It was like going to church, except Ozzy Osbourne was there.

Jesus is still up in Heaven, thumbing through his Bible, going 'Where did I say build a water slide?'

I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock 'n' roll and ex-wives. In that order.

One Tree is of life, the other is of death. Do our fruits hang from the bad tree, or the good? Only by testing the fruits of a Tree (or, rather, testing ourselves) can we truly see what kind of tree we are!

I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry.