I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.

I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.