I find old women at weddings and funerals attractive; I have this weird mortality thing.

I live with an 18-month-old Jack Russell named Chicken. He moved in about 15 months ago, and it was very hard at first because I work a lot and he doesn't.

Old women should not seek to be perfumed.

You know you're getting old when you go to more funerals than you do weddings.

We're not going to do a Facebook game aimed at 35-year old women about farming.

I didn't think that a career in theater was very realistic so I thought the only thing I could make money doing and still be somewhat artistic was, god help me, advertising.