I don't like the idea of being surrounded by hidden things; people you can't see in buildings and cars.


Will Oldham

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When you create art, the world has to wait.
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When liberty becomes license, dictatorship is near.
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The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.
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Civilization exists by geological consent, subject to change without notice.
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Here it is, a New Year. We got to make some resolutions, as well as interest and tax payments in thi...
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Everybody is ignorant only on different subjects.
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Lord, the money we do spend on Government and its not one bit better than the government we got for ...
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There is no credit to being a comedian, when you have the whole Government working for you. All you ...
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We can make this thing into a Party, instead of a Memory.
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I am not a member of any organized partyI am a Democrat.
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Joy comes from using your potential.
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Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.
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I've been collecting articles on extremophile bacteria for at least the last ten years. I find t...
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You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people.
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It's great to be great, but it's greater to be human.
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The most interesting thing in the world is another human being who wonders, suffers and raises the q...
WILL DURANT
Diplomats are just as essential in starting a war as soldiers are in finishing it.
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Do anything in this world but monkey with somebody eles's religion. What reasoning of conceit makes ...
WILL ROGERS
Fanatical religion driven to a certain point is almost as bad as none at all, but not quite.
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It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
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Strangers are just friends I haven't met yet.
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I need to try and get away from that brat role, or people are going to think I'm a natural brat.
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Having no applicable skills, in any possible area whatsoever, effectively makes me the master of red...
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I flow like a butter in the nailed pan I stole. I also kept the nail, to polish and use as a means o...
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In the early days of the Indian Territory, there were no such things as birth certificates. You bein...
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Believe in something for another world, but don't be too set on what it is, and then you won't start...
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I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
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I tell you folks, all politics is applesauce.
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No party is as bad as its leaders.
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The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
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This country has gotten where it is in spite of politics, not by the aid of it. That we have carried...
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The reason political party platforms are so long is that when you straddle anything it takes a long ...
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If you ever injected truth into politics, you would have no politics.
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Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and their politicians as jokes.
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It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out the next morning that it was s...
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Ronald Reagan has held the two most demeaning jobs in the country; President of the United States an...
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I used to do prank calls as these people and try to convince certain hoteliers that I was someone el...
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All I know is what I read in the papers.
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The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the ...
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The gap between ideals and actualities, between dreams and achievements, the gap that can spur stron...
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America is a great country, but you can't live in it for nothing.
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We are given children to test us and make us more spiritual.
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It is no longer enough to be lusty. One must be a sexual gourmet.
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Live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
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About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an i...
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America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.
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There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you
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A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people
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There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
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There is nothing so stupid as an educated man, if you get off the thing that he was educated in.
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Education is the transmission of civilization.
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There is nothing as stupid as an educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
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Education is a progressive discovery of our ignorance.
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Regard yourself as a small corporation of one. Take yourself off on team-building exercises (long wa...
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Quinns always come at half price, about half the time, and half-naked, even during the colder half o...
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If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
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Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the th...
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There is nothing so stupid as an educated man, if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
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I like to hear a man talk about himself because then I never hear anything, but good.
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Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
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Too many people are buying things they can't afford, with money that they don't have... to impress p...
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Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
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Never miss a good chance to shut up.
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One must be a lotus to emerge from mucky waters clean.
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Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
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Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who re...
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America is all about speed. Hot, nasty, badass speed.
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The greatest gift you can give anyone is your undivided attention...
WILL SCHWALBE
I will never joke about old soldiers who try to get to reunions to talk over the war again. To talk ...
WILL ROGERS
It is said that God gave us memory so we could have roses in winter. But it is also true that withou...
GEORGE WILL
The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
WILL ROGERS
You never know how much a man can't remember until he is called as a witness.
WILL ROGERS
Moral codes adjust themselves to environmental conditions.
WILL DURANT
Aristotle is famous for knowing everything. He taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood...
WILL CUPPY
The trouble with most people is that they think with their hopes or fears or wishes, rather than the...
WILL DURANT
She is so totally absorbed in a vocation -- both a gift and a mastering passion -- that she has no t...
GEORGE WILL
Pain is such an uncomfortable feeling that even a tiny amount of it is enough to ruin every enjoymen...
WILL ROGERS
A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
WILL ROGERS
Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow is too lazy to form an opinion.
WILL ROGERS
All I know is just what I read in the papers.
WILL ROGERS
Republicans study the financial pages of the newspaper. Democrats put them in the bottom of the bird...
WILL STANTON
Pessimism is as American as apple pie. Frozen apple pie with a slice of processed cheese.
GEORGE WILL
The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasa...
GEORGE WILL
The pursuit of perfection often impedes improvement.
GEORGE WILL
It may be true that you can't fool all the people all the time, but you can fool enough of them to r...
WILL DURANT
Everybody is ignorant -- only on different subjects.
WILL ROGERS
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
WILL ROGERS
There's no trick to being humorous when you have the whole government working for you.
WILL ROGERS
Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.
WILL CUPPY
Perhaps our supercilious disgust with existence is a cover for a secret disgust with ourselves; we h...
WILL DURANT
Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
WILL ROGERS
There ain't nothing that breaks up homes, country, and nations like somebody publishing their memoir...
WILL ROGERS
When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do -- w...
WILL ROGERS
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The ...
WILL ROGERS
Compared to them I
WILL ROGERS
The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up...
WILL ROGERS
We are always saying: Let the Law take its Course but what we really mean is: Let the Law take OUR C...
WILL ROGERS
As advertising blather becomes the nation's normal idiom, language becomes printed noise.
GEORGE WILL