I am in love, and the river is beginning to ice over. I’d better go drown myself before I freeze to death.


Love is bread and water to the soul. My relationships are quite soggy.


Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer.


We made love like a half a minute. I brought the thirty seconds, and she provided the excuse as to why she didn’t have enough time to have sex with me.


I am the Trolley of Love. Free rides before noon and after 11:58 am!


She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, “Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert.