I am 65, my friends say i look 55, i feel 45, i'll settle for 35, and you make me feel 25!

A girl's legs are her best friends, but the best of friends must part.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.

The food here is so tasteless you could eat a meal of it and belch and it wouldn't remind you of anything.

This is the big one! You hear that, Elizabeth? I'm coming to join ya, honey!