Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.

"Those who think beauty is only skin deep, have lost part of their vision." ~ Tom Baker

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

I am 65, my friends say i look 55, i feel 45, i'll settle for 35, and you make me feel 25!

A girl's legs are her best friends, but the best of friends must part.

The food here is so tasteless you could eat a meal of it and belch and it wouldn't remind you of anything.