I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.

I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing.

Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.

Yeah. If I looked as good as Jane, I would, too!